Being half NT - is it possible? If so, I am CONFLICTED.

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I understand Autism is based on a spectrum; does that mean it is safe to say one could be "half NT" and thus "half Aspie": as in, an indiviudal is so mild an Aspie, it is barely detectable by the majority of NTs, particularly couselors?

I'd like to see a therapist to see if I am actually Aspie.

Anyway...

For instance, it's my Birthday today.

What am I doing one may ask?

Well, instead of making plans with friends, I am at a library with earbuds in my ears so as to block out all excessive sensory input. Every little thing is frustrating me at the moment - any physical movement or rather - any social distraction!

I am at a library as a means to "cool off" after being around people all day at college, for your information.

In fact, I am staring at a group of NTs and I am thinking "GO AWAY!" (overstimulating!).

ON the contrary, however, my NT side would really like to go out tonight and act very NT; hang out, not exactly chit chat (I HATE CHIT CHAT), but drink maybe one beer and just be with human beings to feel more connected.

So there. I painted a sceneria (not literally speaking); am I confusing myself as an Apsie when I could be an NT, given the information I just provided?

cheers! (evil expresso; expresso pronounced "espresso") - e.e

Last edited by evil_expresso on 17 Apr 2012, 5:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sure. I notice people all the time who have a handful of AS traits, but not enough to actually get a diagnosis.

BAP! Broader Autistic Phenotype.

This is a really useful thing to think about - people who have traits but don't have enough or don't have the impairment to get a diagnosis. It makes it easier for people who aren't impaired to interact with those who are in the community, understand that they both have autistic traits, and understand the diagnosed one has impairments and is likely disabled.

Well, I'm not sure what "half aspie" is supposed to be, as "full aspie" and "full NT" aren't that well defined. Tell me what "half-blue" is supposed to be.

Yes, it is definately possible to be half NT. I sometimes even wonder if I'm half NT myself. And I know a lot of people who show signifficant Aspie traits but don't seem to be socially awkward at all and fit in with their peers and manage to find and keep friends easily and so on, but have a lot of other Aspie traits what are noticable, like needing routine, having obsessive interests, having out-of-control emotions or difficulties expressing emotions, and coming across as different or immature for their age.

But I suppose AS isn't all or nothing, and NT isn't all or nothing either. Just some people can just be odd, possibly due to their upbringing, or ethnic background, or a lot of stress in their life, or some other disorder like OCD or anxiety disorder, could be a lot of reasons. I talk to NTs who suffer with social phobia and anxiety disorder on a discussion forum, and I'm surprised how much I relate to them even though they don't have AS and it is not an Autism discussion forum.

Ok, so what do I do? How can I "juggle" my paradoxical ways:

MY ASPIE WAYS --

Easily overstimulated by stimuli (no stimming other than plucking hair)

Not knowing what to do/say 90 percent of the time in a social conversation

Getting body language expressing anger and sadness mixed up.

Laughing in the "wrong" situations.

Being obsessed with things un-social things.

Same clothes, habits, same drinks (not foods however)

Feeling lost at social events, thus appearing weird/arrogant.

Struggling to follow everyday conversations.

Strong preference for a structured enviornment. I do best that way.

Not be able to generate social chit-chat effectively.

Forgetting Birthdays, except my own

MY "NT" WAYS --

Being able to read fundemental body language; except for complex emotions.

Hyper at certain times; wanting to join groups and share ideas, albeit, coming across as (for lack of a better term) a bit eccentric - which I dont mind in fact.

Wanting to comminicate with others, though, not so often due to my lack of direction as to HOW to do it ongoingly.

Wearing up to date clothes, albeit, the same ones each day haha!

Going to social events! But being shy LOL. It's weird and awkward.

I am feeling very conflicted. It is actually perplexing and embarressing for me to admit such social problems seeing as I grew up thinking I was perfectly NT.

I am basically struggling with both worlds; one wants to win and it's the NT I believe!

Any coping suggestions?

Hmm, that's a new concept - Broader Austic Phenotype. Interesting. Sucha a diagnosis is only for those who are related to Austic ppl, right?

http://autism.about.com/od/autismterms/g/phenotype.htm

edit:
Happy Birthday!

Thank you - I appreciate the support and references.

And thank you for the Happy Birthday-ness!

I would guess that there are plenty of "half-Aspies" out there, they just don't stand out much. I'm one of these half-Aspies. I don't have an official diagnosis of Aspeger's, but I have related diagnoses. Like you, I can read body language. I always make eye contact unless something else has caught my eye. I regularly score more NT than Aspie on online tests... though I certainly don't feel that way. I'm not good at social interaction, although I have a theoretical understanding of it. I have almost no friends.

I have to say, most of your NT traits don't disqualify you from having Asperger's. Quite a few Aspies are hyper and like sharing their ideas, almost all Aspies want to communicate with people to varying degrees, and fashion has little to do with Asperger's. Now I'm not saying that you DO have Asperger's, I'm just saying that you aren't as different from higher-functioning Aspies as you may think.

As for what to do about your Aspie traits... if they get in the way, try overcome them with practice. Honestly, I don't get why you feel conflicted. I have Aspie traits, and I just try to live my life, enjoying the things I enjoy, and improving on my social skills. What is there to be conflicted about?

I think alot of it has to do with the way you're raised. I grew up being disciplined into developing some NT traits and skills since childhood. Some NT traits can appear, but you can never discipline the aspie out of a person who's got it.

When i firts found out about Aspergers and started to research it i found out one important thing "Everyone is slightly Autistic"
But hey i have great communication skills when i wanna, but i am also extremely socially awkward, i guess its just the people im around.

ill let u in on something i find interesting. My BFF's sister is fully autistic. she actually enjoys going out with the girls haven a few drinks (which boosts her confidence and makes it easier to be less Autie in an NT world). She enjoys it, even though its waaay out of her comfort zone.
So even for the most autistic person out there they are able to get integrated and enjoy a night out ^^

Happy Birthday! I hope you get to go out tonight, and enjoy your beer

Okay - thanks to all.

I appreciate all the feedback; very common nonsensical, really - why fight your Apsie (or even NT) side? right? That's what I learned tonight here.

As for going out for my Birthday, I didn't Staying inside never felt so good. A small card from the parents is just enough, in my opinion.

And, there are plenty of more days to come, where celebration in a social setting would be warranted

Thanks wrong planeters! I feel good

Well, it is good to know there are other "half Aspies" out there. So, to answer your question, I think I got my terminology confused.

Not conflicted, but something else...

I think the word would have to be "suppressed" or "silenced".

The NT of side of me wants to restrain and control the Aspie side.

However, I've had times where I would let go of my presumed NT identity and be able to better experience life, accordingly.

Being self-conscious doesn't make me more NT or whatever. It just worsens things in the longest run.

Cheers.

I think most of your description would suit me as well. Except there's no way I go to social events, specially if that implies going to crowded discos or anything similar. I guess you can be an aspie to some degree. In fact I think many people have a really distorted idea of what beings an aspie is like due to TV series like TBBT theory and some other ones which display "geniuses" with an odd behavior who are identified as Aspies or autistic. My question is, is "Aspieness" static? people grow and learn. Maybe it's your biology conditioning your development (then aspie) or maybe your development and education are the key to your behavior (then not aspie). Any way, the environment can also change our brains (plasticity) and so you can't expect someone to be the same throughout his/her whole life. Maybe you're just growing and learning new abilities, and that doesn't mean you're less Aspie. You just can handle =). Just an opinion.