Is Asperger's to blame for my failures?

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When I spent two months in a psych hospital. years ago I wrote a book of fairy tales which I never published. After that I lived in NY, Rhode Island, L.A. and Seattle where I wrote 6 screenplays. None ever became movies. Last year, after the band I was in broke up I wrote, arranged, produced and played all the instruments on my solo album. I have yet to release it except I've kind of abandoned it. I think I'm always close to "making it" but for whatever reason I move on to the next special interest. I remember when I was in college I was a published poet and also had artwork submitted for jury competition. It sucks but I guess I'm just an all-around artist with no follow through. This must be an aspie trait, right? Is my aspieness dooming me to a life of mediocrity and unfulfilled goals?

It could be because of Asperger's. Have you had emotional support from your family? It can be also a unconscious demotivation.

Just from your description you sound like a talented creative individual. I know two such people who haven't had the career success they dreamed of. One of them is NT and the other is AS. In the case of the NT guy I think low self-esteem, and being taken advantage of by toxic people, was a major issue. In the case of my AS friend I think it was a lack of confidence, and partly also because he moved rapidly from one "obsession" to another before any of them had turned into a career. He's still working on his music though and may well achieve success if he sticks to it for long enough.

Is perfectionism an issue for you? I found my postgraduate research degree extremely difficult to complete because of my perfectionist streak. I took much longer to complete it than I should have. I was terrified of anyone reading my work with all its horrible flaws. Of course it was not perfect in the end, but I eventually finished it and got through.

OP, I could have written your post... I so relate to what you're saying! Do you have ADD/ADHD as well? I have Asperger's with ADD and for me it's the ADD that comes along and mucks everything up and I change paths without really achieving any big success with my creative pursuits (I'm a published poet, artist and photographer) even though I have the talent to do so.

I will keep an eye on this thread in case others have some good suggestions. I've just started writing a book about Asperger's which I don't want to lose interest in as I know it will be of help to others when I publish it.

I hope you get some helpful advice as you sound very talented and it would be good to share your gifts with the world.

OP, keep in mind that you haven't actually failed yet.

I'm 33 and not where I want to be in life either, but rather than looking at my life history and calling it "failure" I try to focus on my successes. I took ridiculously long to finish my postgrad degree, but I eventually finished it. I have an insecure and underpaid job, but I have a job. The question is.. where to from here? I'm not a failure but success still in the making.

You are a published poet, you wrote a book of fairy tales, 6 screenplays and also wrote, arranged, produced and played all the instruments on a solo album. That is an accomplishment!! ! Don't under-rate your achievements. Rather, ask yourself how you want to apply your talents and overcome the obstacles in your way. Your success is still in the making if you are able to see it that way.

That's still more than I've done. I've never even attempted to make a start on anything.