Aspergers and Social Cues

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So I was talking with my mom today about aspergers, trying to gauge her reaction to it. I'm not sure if I have it or not, and I'm still researching it, but I figured it was worth asking her about.

She said that people with aspergers do things like wave at their mom's during choir concerts as a child because they "didn't have social cues," but to me that doesn't really sound right. For one, LOTS of kids do that I would imagine, for two, that's not really the type of social situation I imagine when I read about the hardships those with aspergers face socially.

She says that they do "weird" things in public like this because they "don't have social cues", but I'm not sure how reading social cues would help with things like that.

Like I said, I am still trying to figure out if I have it or not, but when I think about myself in those types of situations, I can safely say I would never do something like that, not because I know you're not supposed to, but because I would be terrified to do anything but stand there. In social situations as a child (and teen and young adult, although just in the past two years I've been really improving), I am pretty much terrified to do anything "out of the normal" I guess you could say. Although at the same time, even things that most people think are perfectly normal to do in public, I am still to scared to do. Sooo I guess my question is, is it possible for me to have aspergers even though I don't do what I call "big" things like that in public?

I know that people find me strange in general, and I feel like when I am actually talking to people I do or say strange things, or I just feel completely inadequate when talking to people, like I am just some little kid pretending to be an adult (I am 24). I can never think of things to say in social situations, like my mind is completely blank. If it's something I am interested in I can talk forever about it, but most people don't want to do that. According to my best friend who has known me since we were 5, I "shut down" when talking to people who are not into Martial Arts or Anime, which I never really realized I did, I guess I just don't know what to say. I try and be funny but people think I am serious. And I try so hard to make friends, but I just don't know how, no matter how hard I try, I don't know how people connect like that.

Thank you all for your input into my dilemma

Also please note, Im not talking about things that could be considered stimming, I do plenty of things like that.

Some people have different symptoms/traits than others as well as different levels of extremes. You should talk about this to your doctor or a psychologist if you want to get diagnosed.

My biggest (and only) piece of advice: after all your research you will know far more about autism/aspergers than you mother and other family members. If you want some helpful advice from them, don't ask "do you think I have aspergers" as they will base their answer on their own, probably incorrect, idea on what aspergers is. Instead asking something more specifically relating to you and the criteria, e.g. "Do I sometimes speak with a monotone?", "did I have any sensory problems (food textures, clothing labels etc.) as a child?", "did I play well with others toddlers when I was that age?", "Do I sometimes go on and on about a topic" etc. Especially if they don't know that what you are asking relates to apsergers you are likely to get much more helpful answers.

I first said to my mother "I think I might have aspergers", then had to spend a few weeks teaching her what aspergers actually was and correct numerous misconceptions. I didn't need her advice on what aspergers was like, I knew far more about it than she did. I needed her advice on what I was like - what I was like as a child before I can remember and how I presented to others. Then you can make a list of her relevant observations mixed with some of your own and compare that to the criteria for Aspergers Syndrome.