Why do NT's not want to hear about our interests?

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I learn some facts or about some research for instance in my Criminology class we watched a video and I learned that aggression ends after age 5 most of the time. I mention this to my sister Erica (since her son/my nephew) just turned 5 today. She responded "Not everything you see is true." IT'S FACTUAL RESEARCH!! ! I've researched things in the past and my family don't care to hear about research and data. IMO it's sad. If a child says "I learned how to spell CAT C.A.T. you get praise but up it to College level work and research and my family blows it off or don't seem interested much. I guess because it's not something they can understand. But I just find that sad that they aren't open minded.

I don't want to hear about THEIR interests.

I'm not surprised they don't want to hear about mine.

Same reason why some of us don't want to hear about stuff we are not into. To them, our interests are boring and they don't want to hear about them all the time, just like some of us don't want to hear about interests we are not into.

My mom on the other hand doesn't want to hear any of mine if I am obsessed with it. I am not sure why that is a problem because I don't talk about them all the time with her so why would she not want to hear it?

The reason they aren't interested is because we go on and on about it, and often it's something that most people wouldn't be interested in anyway, so we end up boring them to tears, or to the point of complaining about it.

As for aggression usually ending at about the age of 5, that's a load of bull. Sorry to contradict you on this, but I am in my early 50s, and have encountered many aggressive people in all age groups over my 5+ decades of life.

You need to either keep your interests to yourself or share them with others who are interested in them, but don't keep forcing it on people who are not interested in it. It's a real turn off for them. I know that when the schools kept forcing me to learn stuff that had no interest to me, and I also couldn't see any use to a particular course, that was a huge turn off to me.

I'm sorry there is no one in your family who shares your interests, but somewhere out there, there must be someone who does. Try looking for them on the I-net, or through local clubs and organizations. What about others who take those courses with you?

Thanks. On the 5 year old aggression thing the class video and research I found online is basically referring to children by age 5 find another outlet besides hitting/kicking to get what they want and aggression is "developed" by that age. Now obviously people have aggression beyond age 5 so perhaps there then there's a psychological issue at work but all the data is backed up.

Sometimes, facts can be taken personally IF the information THAT you discuss can be associated with whomever you are talking to.

IF you have a tendency to use factual information to engage someone in conversation; the majority of people may NOT desire to hear IT especially IF those facts are negative and pertains to THEM.

I suspect a majority of people have a lot of social coping mechanisms for factual information THAT can be taken personally especially IF it's negative.

This is where 'small talk'or veering away(from certain subject matter) comes into play in regards to social engagement............

*just an opinion and should be taken as such

TheSunAlsoRises

My primary special interest is music, and often, even other musicians will be uninterested when I start talking about music.

The thing is, I often get into very specific things when talking about music; for example the other day I was going on and on and on about the bass strings I use on my main bass, why I use them, etc. I do the same with a lot of things - I just get into something very specific and talk about it, and nobody is interested. I also will talk a lot about music theory, and then it's a mix depending on the people.

Thanks!! ! Your example made alot of since!! !! I always did that with learning Psychology. I learned spanking is wrong from the data I was learning and would spew it back to family on there discipline methods and my parents hated me for it. Erica constantly says "OMG! I'm glad I didn't have a girl." I guess I shouldn't mention data shows that boys tend to be more aggressive and are more likely to land in jail. (Ya I think not!) LOL!! !! !! (They've raised him right so far!! !)

LoL. .........not a good idea.

TheSunAlsoRises

Your interest in music sounds like something I'd do. Not interested in the basic perspective of playing it but more indepth information. This holds true for my interest in Criminal Justice. I bought a book by Beccaria and mention the research I found on aggression. My sister is going to be a lawyer but sadly she fits the NT aspect of just going through the motions of college and will probably not "learn" anything. It seems Aspies always tend to think outside the box of interest. I find it sad people take to the defensive and don't like research and facts tossed at them despite them being true though. What a sad world we live in. This is one issue I wish NT's could grasp and understand so we could have logical indepth conversations with them. In your case instead of just playing them you could talk about your bass strings and have an indepth conversation.

I think it's fairly simple - first, nobody is interested in anything they're not interested in, so unless they share the interest, it will bore them (that's probably true for anyone, NT or aspie).

Second, if they do share the interest - they're probably hopelessly outclassed and feel like they have nothing to contribute, and the volume of data exchange is probably overwhelming.

Yes but that's assuming normal development - which requires that the strategy begins to fail consistently, causing them to develop a new one. When a strategy works, a person will continue to employ it until it doesn't. So sometimes, adults are still using strategies of 5 year olds because they never had to develop beyond that point morally, and occasionally never do.

And interpreted by someone...and prone to human error.

Actually your family are right and most psychological and even sociological research is theory...very little is fact!! ! Although they do so love to pass it off as such.

Not much use to primitive man trying to survive predators if aggression wears off by age 5...what did they do, send the toddlers in to fight for their survival? We are not so different from our palaeolithic ancestors genetically.

The study may not be inaccurate, but I would err on the side of caution and not believe every study that comes along. The studies used to say that the cholesterol in eggs affected the cholesterol in our blood...oopps apparently they don't. Oh dear the study got it wrong. Someone made a correlation that was incorrect and passed it off as cause and effect. Hmmmm happens a lot that.

Oh you can eat as many eggs as you want now...there isn't a limit as they have virtually no effect on your blood cholesterol. Chow down! A great source of Vitman D for those who don't like too much sun....Pale people who sunburn like me!

Just err on the side of caution is all I'm saying, not everything you see or read is right/correct/accurate...shockingly even studies can be wrong! Yes they can.

Psychology used to be my first academic love until I realised that much of it was a crock of ****. I disagree with much of it. No offence meant towards your personal interest. I just loathe much of the present day thinking and don't appreciate some shrink telling me what is and isn't normal based on some cultural expectation of what a human being should be rather than what nature intended. Shrinks irk me.

You're right it does factor in "normal development" and not psychological issues which may be present in those with aggression issues and boys tend to be more aggressive overall. Also not learning different ways to deal with things some people do act like they are 5 yet they are adults LOL!

The reason is because many of us have special interests that are obscure.

This is def. not an NT only trait, I annoy plenty of other aspies with my interests.