Why do people break promises?

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If I make a promise, I always keep it. Why don't other people keep their promises? Is it something personal against me? I don't understand.

Poor memory
Things change or come up that makes it impossible to keep it

Also sometimes you have to break your promise. Like I know someone online who had promised her boyfriend she would never leave him. The relationship turned bad and just by her stories, it sounds like he treats her like crap and plays games with her and I told her she should leave him and they had a long distance relationship and were separated because he had sued her and it just didn't sound like a good relationship and based on how he talks down to her. She said she couldn't leave him because she promised him she wouldn't. Why keep your promise for something like this?

They break them becausekeeping them is inconvenient. The real question is why they make them in the first place.

Maybe 17 days ago she was probably just joking about having something important to say when, in reality, it was probably nothing.

I've been raised to believe that breaking a promise is a serious sign of disrespect. So I try to live by the rule: "Don't promise what you can't deliver". However, I can be very forgetful sometimes. I do feel horrible if I fail to keep my word.

Why do people make promises they don't intend to keep? For similar reasons that people lie in general. Telling the truth is usually hard and unpleasant.

Hmm. That's why I doubted the severity of it's importance considering it was an issue that supposedly could wait till a transcontinental visit to NY was completed. I wonder if she thought that perhaps it was all dealt with in Sweden and there was nothing further to add. I got to thinking, though. Let's say I learned from a doctor I had cancer, and I had a best friend, I'd probably wait till I came back from a trip to tell them because I wouldn't want them to worry themselves sick while I was overseas. Just saying.

I'm sure it's sometimes because people have trouble saying "no" and thus get into commitments they can't handle. I used to have this problem, but a few broken promises (things I was unable to carry through on) made me realize I needed to be very careful what I committed myself to. It was nothing personal about the person the promise was made to, so much as my inability to do whatever it was in a way that I considered good enough or something else got in the way (schedules, etc.).

Also be careful to understand whether they're promising for certain to do something or are just saying yeah, that would be nice to do. At the time of the promise, you might want to make sure they understand the agreement the same way you do.

My sister is bad about saying she wants to do something with me on a certain date and later backing out. My SO thinks this is just awful, because when he sets a date to do something it's like it's written in stone. But not everyone is that iron-clad about their calendars. It's just her way to be more flexible with hers, and it bothers me sometimes too, but she's always been like that and I know her, so I usually plan on her changing the plans and then I'm pleasantly surprised when she doesn't. Everything she and I plan together is entered on my calendar in PENCIL.

There are a number of reasons why people break promises. There really is no point in getting bent out of shape over broken promises. Granted, people should not promise what they know that they can't or won't deliver. However, things do happen, that can change plans.

- Forgot.
- Something came up.
- Unable to follow through for some reason.
- Made the promise to brush off the person it was made to, with no intent to follow through.

No one is under any obligation to keep a promise that puts them or someone else in harms way, or in an unhealthy situation. That means that those in a bad relationship are free to leave. A promise is not a death pact, or a pact to stay in an unhealthy situation. Any partner who tries to make you stay in a bad relationship by saying that you promised, is manipulating you, which is further proof that you need to get out of there. Anyone who regularly manipulates you, or harms you, or threatens you, has failed to keep up their end of the relationship,--they've burned up their partner card, so the relationship can be cancelled by you without guilt.

Just don't expect much from people who are in the habit of not following through, and be sparing of asking for or giving promises.