How much "Theory of Mind" can an autistic person l

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It's possible to learn Theory of Mind, right? For example, as a kid I was definitely impaired in theory of mind. I had no concept that people thought differently than me, was confused when others didn't share my opinion, etc.

Now that I'm an adult, my default setting is still like that, I still assume that everyone shares my opinion. I still assume that everyone knows what I know. For example, every time I get an idea, I don't share it because in my mind, they must have already thought about it. It doesn't compute that maybe they don't know what I know. But if I get alone and think about it, sometimes I can get an inkling of what it might feel like to not be so mind blind.

Is it possible to learn theory of mind? And how would one go about teaching oneself? Is lack of theory of mind really a huge problem?

It is totally possible.

Not only that, you might have a slight advantage!

Your understanding of a lack of theory of mind is the first step into a great understanding of the theory of mind.

Machines that can understand themselves start off slow at first, but very quickly build up speed. Give it a try. You might be surprised about how far you get in a short space of time. Or at least, a reasonable amount of time.


The human brain is too unique and too individual to ever get the attention it needs from relevant 'sources' or 'authorities'. You are your own guide.


From the way you ask the question, I think you would do very well. Yes you can learn Theory of Mind.


To answer your last question:
Yes, a lack of theory of mind is a HUGE problem.
It can get you beaten up, ripped off, or just taken advantage of generally.
It is not a case of being indifferent. People will see this missing part of you and act accordingly - take advantage.

It is not for you to gain any advantage, it is to stop you being at a disadvantage.

You might not like or understand how other people think. But you will have the consciousness to understand it. You are not that blinded by your 'disorder'.
Then act accordingly.

Believe me, I am pretty NT compared to a lot of others on this site, but that is a problem too. I have probably had the s*** kicked out of me, for not understanding
Theory of Mind, more than I would like.

Do your best, do what you can. It will benefit you in real life situations.

Yes it's possible to learn it. I never expect anyone to be psychic. How can people know what I know if I don't tell them? Do I know what people know if they never tell me? Do I know what they are thinking if they don't share it with me? I also know everyone thinks different. I still get my moments though and my husband has to remind me that someone isn't me or that they don't think like me.

How do other people know if you lack theory of mind? And then what allows them to take advantage? Or beat you up?

You don't 'learn' Theory of Mind, you remember it.

"So, what do YOU think?" should become a standard in your verbal repertoire. As long as you know that Theory of Mind is a thing and that it doesn't come naturally to you, that's most of the work right there. It might be enough to write T.O.M on your hand, to remind you that you can't assume what's in other people's heads. Eventually, it'll be habit.

When I am talking with someone I trust, I give my opinion and I usually say to them
"how do you see that?"
or
"do you think I have understood the situation the way you would?"

to learn how they see the situation, or something I might have missed.
I listen to what they think another person's feelings or motivations might have been 'cause I don't always notice that.

i feel like i've gained a lot of theory of mind lately the important thing with learning theory of mind is that you totaly asimilate everything you learn so that you not only know it intelectualy but also feel it and know it with your body

You can learn to do in intellectually where NT's do it intuitively. Kind of like a game doing graphics in Software as opposed to Hardware. It isn't as good and there is a delay but you can do it. Start reading psychology books (real ones not self self ones).

You don't distinguish between fact and opinion, but you think you do. You believe that your mind and its growth are set on a track, and that the entire world is on the same track, with varying people of varying ages being further behind or ahead. You don't understand that everyone has a different track; perhaps you can't even conceive it. In short, you believe that the way you see things is the way everyone sees things: the way things are.
You deserve to know that there is no one way things are. There is no such thing as right. You may wonder, then, what is there? People. And every person has a mind and convictions equal to yours. All people are holy. Respect them and learn from them.

-From a letter I once wrote to my past self.

I know that other people have thoughts and feelings independent of mine but if I'm not careful or if I'm lazy I can end up doing this thing where I'll be thinking about something for ten minutes then start to talk about it with someone without properly introducing the subject first. I'll be thirty seconds into a rant and the other person will stop me and say 'What are you talking about?' Then I remember they hadn't been thinking what I'd been thinking for ten minutes and I have to introduce the subject first because it's like they've just walked in halfway through a conversation
That makes me think this can be improved or worsened with effort or lack thereof.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGCMfprPJoA


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