"You Need Help"

Post Reply New Topic

I want to discuss with you guys a painful topic, something that happened today to me, and for some reason I am surprised.

First I should explain that my obsession, is that of a person. Someone who is very very special to me.

He also happens to be a videogame character. So I think you see the conflict that may happen as a result....

I was talking with someone in Windows Live messenger, someone who I am just casual online friends with and we don't talk very often. But I thought he knew of my obsession with this character. Maybe he didn't, or didn't know the details, but a topic came up reguarding this character that pained me to talk about.... and it wasn't going to get any easier because this 'friend' was about to start mocking me, make me feel like a freak.

He would use a emotion like this guy alot:

While saying "uhmm....."

He said "It's JUST a game..... He's made from polygons, motion capture actors, voice actors, and the script".

First off, any "real" fan in my eyes would not call it "just a game", and would certainly not be excited about the idea that the main character could possibly be killed off in the next game. This game is a MASTERPIECE to the fans. I am NOT some freak.... I see the majority of titles as "just a game" but something that gets to your emotions, that makes you think, that makes you proud to be a fan cannot be 'just', to imply that it is meaningless.

But I believe he was referring to my love of the character.

SO WHAT? What's the BIG DEAL anyway? What about people obsessed with music artists or actors? Can you TOUCH them? Can you DATE them? No. You see them on TV or in magazine paper and that's the limits. You care for someone you can never have. Does it really matter whether they are made out of flesh or polygons? The result is the same.

This character does not impact my life in any negative ways that I can tell. I may be obsessed with him and the series so that I spend alot of my thoughts and time on something related, but I HAVE ASPERGERS. If it wasn't this character, this series, it would be some OTHER character or person, some OTHER series. It would still HAPPEN with something else.

It's always going to be SOMETHING, or SOMEONE. I have AS, so obsessions are always going to be part of my life. Besides, if its fun, if its not hurting anyone, whats the BIG PROBLEM? It's so wrong to be not like everybody else? It's so wrong to be unusual? That's sick IMO.

He finally HAS to say this..... "Would it be offensive if I said 'you need help'?".

Ofcourse by asking that question, he has already told me just that.


Why do I feel like the only way to feel not like a freak is to remember there are people more unusual than I am? Why are there always going to be people who are rude and think only a certain way, and if you don't fit their strict guidelines, you 'need help'.

There is no "help" that will rid me of my AS, and I'm quite happy to have these obsessions. It just pains me whenever I meet someone who makes me feel like a loser. Especially disappointing when I thought it was someone I could trust. Someone reasonable.

And do you know why I'm named "Solidess"? Well, specifically why I won't say, but this username is different than my usual one that I use on any message boards. I am actually so paranoid and so sick of being mocked that I wouldn't want someone to search for my usual username and track me back to here and see that I have Aspergers. I know, it would add up if I admit that I have it. I'm not proud of it. But then you know what some NTs think the moment they hear "disability" or "syndrome"? Some of them automatically categorise you with 'ret*d' or something. And I wouldn't want my fellow fans of the series to think there is a freak amoung them. I don't want to be an embarrassment, or like a 'extreme case' of a fan. I don't want to be the equivilant of a huge geek.

And I'm a reasonable person you know, and I keep my obsessions to myself, I don't cram them down others throats. But online, whenever I think I can be comfortable to be myself, there is someone out there who can successfully make me cry. And I don't know why it happens, because if that is their type of personality, I shouldn't have anything to do with them. These are the type of judging people that I loathe and try to avoid at all costs.


What are some of your moments where you feel like you are judged and feel like a weirdo or a loon? Do you think the majority of NTs are unreasonable? Most of my friends are probably NTs and they are wonderful people, so I know its just as lame for us to judge all of them the same as it is for them to judge us that way.

At the end of the day I guess you can just be assured that there is no getting along with EVERYONE, just be happy to be yourself, but keep yourself only to yourself and people you can truely trust.

Yeah seems words seldom mean anything anymore. I was 13 when my brother said
I was a fagg*t, p**** for playing with Lego.By the end of that same year I was in hand cuffs.

Don't fret, we are in similar boats. I'm obsessed with the Crimson King and Flagg from the Dark Tower series and I recently became obsessed with the fighters from the Soul Caliber series. Here you can be who you are without fear of discrimination.

I have agree what you say. You'll never meet a celebrity so what's the difference? It's not like you can have lunch with Serj Taniakn of Rob Zombie. Nothing is wrong with any of us.

Peace my friend
Flagg

Gosh. He does sound like a really mean person. I'm not going to ask who this character is (partly because you most likely won't tell me, but mostly because it's rude), but if it's your obsession, that's okay with me. Sure, at first I may take a second glance, but that doesn't mean I'm an unjust person. I'm capable of accepting these sort of things and accept people for who they are. It's people like this that get up my skin.

Now, the most likely thing going on is this: He's thought you were weird the entire time and has only started to show it now.

The next most likely thing is that he's under some other influnce, such as other pals who are meaner than he appears to be right now. It could even be it's someone else using his username.

The other final thing going on that I can think of is that this is some extremely big mis-understanding. It can sound ridiculous, but then it never hurts to ask.

The mind is vast and we are unaware of most of it, the sub-conscious. We can only access parts of our sub-conscious indirectly, through external symbols to which we attribute meaning and onto which we project parts of ourselves, our sub-conscious. The symbols can be anyone or anything. This is why religion is filled with symbols. They are the channels through which we access the god that exsits inside of us in one form or another. The one, beautiful, perfect lover isn't more beautiful or perfect than the next one, but the sub-conscious mind makes it so. Our prefect child is no more perfect than the next one, but those powerful gods that exist in our sub-conscious make it so. And it is the devils and demons deep in our minds that make us see devils and demons.

So when we love another, whether it's flesh & blood, a celebrety, a fictional character, or the image of Jesus or Buddha or Superman, we're loving the best part of ourselves, and aspiring to fulfill our potential for love and kindness, and be the best we can.

After all, doesn't our perfect lover bring out the best in us?

I love this! Though I would say the best AND worst..


You know when I was a kid I had an obsessive fondness for Kitana from mortal kombat, she was the only character I would play, and I used to run around by myself at school lunchtime pretending she was all mine.

Yes, well, that would be the imperfect lover (all of us), the difference between theory and practice.

Plenty of peopleout there obsess about famous people, sports heroes, people (the characters that is) from soaps, films and plays,and so-called celebrities, and not all of those are aspie-fixation on a character can happen to anyone! How many people love Legolas from Lord of the rings who's just a book cjharacter translated into film by Orlando Bloom in fancy clothes and latex ears. But he has his own fan communities on the web-I've seen 'em! Google any celeb, sportsman or TV/film character and tou'll be surprised how many clubs there are out there.

I have the BIGGEST crush on Jirarudan, (Lawrence III) the Collector from the second Pokemon movie. He is drawings and a voice actor and cellolose, but do I care? NO! He's yum! Not only have I "married " him on the "Marry your Favorite Character Online" site (and I'm just one of six who have done so!), I have (and still do) write loads of fan fiction and draw fan art and have even (with a friend) created something of a life-story for him. He was last seen officially in a Pokemon movie (and even then, just as a pcture in a book) at the end of the 5th Pokemon movie but I have written a post-2nd movie life for him, and you know what? I've had speople telling me that some of the art/fanfiction) is the best I have ever written/drawn.

At least, with our obsessions, there is NO chance we'll go overboard and stalk our obsesee!

Tell your friend straight that you know the composition of the character and the game, you know the differencfe between fantasy and reality, thank you very much, and it's just harmless fun. "help" is only needed if it becomes dangerous, oe distressing to you or to others. If he doesn't leave it alone (or be kinder about it after that) tell him to butt out, and block them if you have to, even if it's just for a couple of weeks-maybe they'll realise they've gone too far?
Good luck and chin up!

JulieArticuno

He sounds like someone I'd enjoy throttling if I ever met him in a dark alleyway with no other pedestrians watching. Luckily, I have a conscience.

I have my own obsessions, however I use them to my advantage. I learn about them, make them into a hobby, etc., until either the obsession finally burns out or I make a hobby/career out of it. One of my very strong obsessions is with learning about sexuality. Yeah, I've been labeled as a pervert or some other sort of deviant label, but in the end, I really don't care. People, for the most part, are hypocritical, as they have their own obsessions. They'd most likely never admit to it as being an obsession, but they have them. So when they give me a hard time about my own obsessions, I just smile at them before giving them middle finger and politely telling them to f**k themselves and die.

Yeah, I'm a touch aggressive/passive-aggressive. Blame the School Of Hard Knocks™ on that. ;

You're not that weird... one of my friends is in love with Frodo, from Lord of the Rings. Not the actor who plays him--the character. Especially the character in the book. The length of her fan-fiction stories, collectively, has grown to larger than the original trilogy.

And here's the thing: My friend isn't an Aspie; and she's very nice, and not socially awkward at all. She isn't quite NT either, because she has ADHD; but she's wonderful and not insane or in need of "help".

So: Don't worry. Being obsessed with a fictional character isn't weird--even if you're not an Aspie.

Your obsession may wane as time goes on; you'll always love the character, but eventually there should be something else... Maybe, whatever that something else is, people won't tease you for it. But, as it is, don't listen to people who tease you--they just don't understand. Wait till they fall in love with a fictional character of their own, and then you can tease them right back!

Metaphorically speaking, that could be said as 'Poking them with the stick that made you bleed'

Yeah, I don't think you're weird at all. I have the same "problem;" it is supposedly because I "have a hard time separating fact from fiction," and "live in my own world."

While I have never become obsessed with a videogame character, I do not see how it is any different than being obsessed with a movie, television, or book character. I think some people try to separate them because typically movie/television/book characters are real people, not binary coding, but that is a psychological trick because the principle is the same...the character is a character, not a real person.

I associate an actor with the character they played. For instance, I met Gene Wilder at a huge family reunion when I was about 14. I was hysterical because my parents promised that I would get to meet Willy Wonka, my most favorite of all movie characters at that point in time (I had watched the movie a couple hundred times), and he never showed up. Instead, it was the actor who played Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder), and no one could convince me that they were the same people--he didn't look like Willy Wonka and even though he sounded like him and could act like him, it just didn't equal up in my eyes (and I think I really embarassed my family that day.)

What I am trying to say is that I grow attached to a CHARACTER, and if I ever met the actor in real life, I would probably still get very upset because I wasn't attached to the actor, but to his/her character. It is kind of different, but oh well. Does that makes sense?

Yeah Ive met the live action/voice actors for characters in movies and animes that I liked before and while I would be nice and compliment them on their talents I would only say that I loved the character they portrayed but not give an opinion about the actor themselves.

Is it weird to like or dislike characters but not care about the actor portraying them? Most people have favorite actors but I dont seem to.

My friends will go see a movie based on the names in the credits but Ill only go see one if the character portrayed seems interesting regardless of whether its this actor, that actor or a purple elephant starring in it.

No, not weird at all. It varies for me. Sometimes I'd say I'm a fan of the actor in general, as well as their character, and I take an interest in them off-screen and would watch a TV show or movie just because they were in it. Sometimes it's the character I'm attached to, and I'm really not interested in the actor personally or in watching them in any other role.

It's not wrong, or a problem, or anything like that, I can assure you. I might be waxing lyrical, but the TV shows and characters in them that I'm attached to are the light of my life; have been since I was a child. They're my adopted family. They make me happy. They make me smile/laugh when nothing else can. Why should I give up that happiness?

There could be something to this. If someone else did get a hold of his computer or user name.

But if not, and he is this way, I'm sure he needs help!! You are not strange. I had been in love with the world from Lord of the Rings and the character, "Legolas." Not Orlando Bloom himself, but the character. At work, other women would say, "What a sexy Elf! Mmmmmhmmm!" And the character is not even real.

I say he's the one who needs help........ people often make fun of others for things that they have been made fun of for. My boyfriend's sister, Stephanie, wore platform shoes that were 6 inches high. One day I wore some high shoes and she made fun of me. Boy was I confused about that since she wore them all the time and way high than me. My BF told me not to worry about it because he makes fun of her all the time. I then asked him, "Is that why she made fun of me for the same thing?" Eh..he always says he doesn't know, but I think it has something to do with it. I've seen it with other people too.