Holding and hiding back

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Not sure why this has been intensifying lately, but you know they say that people with AS don't communicate their feelings clearly (or inappropriately)? Well, someone said I'm like Da Vinci's code... and it seems to be driving me insane, as I keep just dropping the tiniest of hints to people which they are totally oblivious to until I wholly can't take it anymore and nearly end up a criminal. (And then, of course, there's more repercussions that keep piling on to the stress and that's the only thing people care about...)

Why am I so dysfunctional like this?

Whether NT or on the Autism spectrum, none of us is a mind reader. If you want someone to know something, STOP WITH THE TINY HINTS AND JUST TELL THEM! It's called communication. Try it, it works.

Sorry for the LOUD text. I used it to communicate emphasis,:lol: and because those who think others can read minds drive everyone around them crazy when those others don't have a clue about what the hinter wants them to know. So then the hinter gets upset because we can't read minds. Do you know how many divorces have been caused by tiny hinters?

If you have trouble communicating something verbally, write a note, email, or letter. --Or how about greeting cards? Those are nice.

I would say that is because you're acting contrary to your true nature. I'm sure it's more of an effort for you to drop small hints and keep track of who gets what and when (or if they get it and are ignoring it, or any more possibilities that exist). Is this not the case? Would you prefer to be more direct with people and learn the appropriate way to do so?

What you are doing can be called being passive aggressive by NT's who would purposefully disregard what you are hinting at to avoid doing something for you because you're being viewed that way.

That's just my take on it.

Mootoo, are you afraid someone will react badly to you if you're more direct? Maybe feeling intimidated is holding you back. Maybe having some experience with being more direct will help you reset your expectations. There's no guarantee others will react well every time, but may people will be okay. If you're too careful, some people can be unnerved by that. Even NTs can appreciate directness sometimes.

Give directness a try. But be kind to yourself. Try not to let yourself get to upset or angry if you have difficulty along the way. It's a skill and a habit, and it can take time to develop.

Yeah I kind of have this issue as well, sometimes it's really hard for me to put my exact thoughts into words...then of course sometimes I am worried about being judged for how I feel or what I'm thinking so I'll be to anxious to quite get it out. Not really sure what to do about it, but I kinda get what you're talking about.

Tiny hints rarely work. Most people are thinking about themselves. When they see you, they ask "what's in it for me?" You might as well be honest. "What if" is a meager meal.