What's wrong with me?
30 May 2012, 12:24 am
I've never really told anybody a lot of what I'm about to tell but as I'm getting older I realize how many problems I have. Problems that keep me from having a normal life, whatever that is. I think I might have have asperger's or some form of Autism but I'm not sure. Some things that seem to be wrong with me seem to beyond that. Basically to get to the point I'm 31 and I have quite a number of issues. One is I can't drive and that's becoming a bigger problem as I get older. I tried to drive one time when I was 17 or 18 I think it was and just got so panicked and freaked out. I can't even sit behind a wheel it just freaks me out and scares me so much. Like deep down inside me I have this feeling that if I drive I'm going to die or kill somebody else and its not something I fear but its just this gut instinct in me that says if you do you will die or kill another in a car crash. I live in a small area and its REALLY hard for me to find a job here and I've been relying on a family member to drive me back and forth to work but she is getting older and I'd love to be able to drive. Its heavily interfered with my social life as well.
I also have sadly never had a relationship. I quite often sit here at night and cry about this. I don't want to be alone I hate being alone but I feel like I'm going to pass from this world never connecting with anybody. I occasionally bond with somebody (very rarely) but it seems like the bond comes so fast but then fades away so fast. Sometimes I think I don't know how to read signs and I misread how somebody feels about me or I miss the cues they are sending to me in what they want. I'm excellent with friends and I have good and loyal friends but when it comes to forming a relationship I just can't seem to do it. I don't understand but I think part of this problem HAS to be me. Course I have had some people in the past tell me I'd never be loved and I think part of that is because I can't drive, I can't socially interact properly in this area without a license so these two problems tie into each other but I still feel like its a much deeper issue than a lack of a license.
Another issue I have thats worse at times than others is a very poor memory. I forget things very easily and I'm always misplacing things. I'll lay something down and forget where I put it although sometimes I can jog my memory. I've noticed many people remember things from 5-6 years old etc... sometimes younger. Well pretty much anything before 14 is a blank memory for me except rare bits and pieces. Honestly even high school graduating at 18 it seems like my memory is fragmented. I seem to have no ability to hold onto memories long term wise usually beyond a few years after that its like just pieces. I've been told by friends that I repeat things often and I have no memory of telling them this greatly upsets me. I'm sometimes told things multiple times by people and they feel like I don't listen but I do, its just I don't remember!
I have some odd lack of motor skills too as much as it pains to admit me I still can't tie my shoes... its like I lack that ability to do it. I'm also poor at math although just at higher levels I can do basic math just fine. I oddly seem to be very intelligant at some things yet well for a lack of a better word ret*d at other things. People say I'm a good listener when I can remember things, I have strong friendships with people yet no relationships. I seem to be decent at computers and technology and I'm a strong salesman. However this doesn't feel like enough. I admit I've had some problems moving beyond a cashier at my current work.
I briefly switched jobs to a wireless telephone call center and I really liked the job and I tried but I failed. While I'm good at computers it was just CRAZY how many documents we had to learn and memorize things. I was getting stuck on the same problems over and over again. Even with notes I'd just get confused and didn't know what I was doing, this lead to me getting fired very quickly after I started the new job. I only lasted with the phone company for 7 weeks before I was terminated. I don't want to be a cashier at a department store forever though but I feel like it's all I can do, cause everything else I've tried in I've failed at and I really try. Also I've always lived with a family member and I'd love to be out on my own but as I said stuck in a bad job with low pay and I don't drive so I'm stuck.
I'm very embarassed to say all of this but I feel like I need help. If I can get any? I'm just stuck at a point in life where I want to know whats wrong with me and CAN I fix this? At least can I manage it to have a normal life. I can't take this anymore. Being 31 with no life with no partner with nothing to call my own. I think people think I'm lazy and don't care but its not that. I try I just fail and I don't like being alone and having nothing to show for my life. I want my life to just be normal and to have all the other things that seem to be so common and so easy for others to have and I sit here and struggle everyday just to get by with my life even the way it is.
Thank You For Your Time and listening to this, I know its been a bit of a rant but any comments or suggestions would be apperciated.
Daniel
conundrum
Veteran
Joined: 25 May 2010
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,922
Location: third rock from one of many suns
30 May 2012, 1:16 am
Hello Daniel. Welcome to WP. 
I'm 33 and have the same issues with driving. I can get to a job (by bus).
Friends: very few. I was in a relationship for nearly four years. Right now he's with someone else but we still talk.
If you suspect you have some type of autism, give these tests a try:
AQ (Autism Quotient) Test
Aspie Quiz
Feel free to look around this site and see if anything resonates with you. Aspie or not, you are welcome here.
_________________
The existence of the leader who is wise
is barely known to those he leads.
He acts without unnecessary speech,
so that the people say,
'It happened of its own accord.' -Tao Te Ching, Verse 17
30 May 2012, 1:21 am
I'm 33 and have the same issues with driving. I can get to a job (by bus).
Friends: very few. I was in a relationship for nearly four years. Right now he's with someone else but we still talk.
If you suspect you have some type of autism, give these tests a try:
Feel free to look around this site and see if anything resonates with you. Aspie or not, you are welcome here.
The driving and relationship part really bug me. As I said I'm in such a rural area and there is NO public transit options around here. I'll admit I have no savings and I'm in some debt on top of that. I'd love to be able to move and afford a public transit friendly city but its not feasible for me given my finances. I really need to learn how to drive but I seem to have this block that I can't get past! As I've gotten older I've been bugged more and more about driving. I'm actually very embarassed that I can't drive. I quite often ignore the comment on why I don't have a car and I've even said before that I had a DUI and got my license suspended so thats why I don't drive now. Oddly I'd rather let people think I have a DUI and can't drive that I'm 31 and never had a license. Around here that seems to be more acceptable to have a DUI at my age than never had a license.
30 May 2012, 1:44 am
Well Daniel I tried to drive but I found it very intimitating as I couldn't steer very well and i found all the mirrors confusing.
I didn't find the road rules hard though.
I couldn't ride a bike either.
As for relationships that dosen't worry me as I'm a loner and I don't like being touched.
There's nothing wrong with you I couldn't tie shoe laces untill I was 12 years old.
I'm not very good at maths as I have a learning disability and went to a special school I can add up and take away but I went to a remidal class later.
I even tried to learn sign language to communicate with deaf people but even though I could do it I couldn't read the other person's signs and one girl called me stupid.
30 May 2012, 1:50 am
I didn't find the road rules hard though.
I couldn't ride a bike either.
As for relationships that dosen't worry me as I'm a loner and I don't like being touched.
There's nothing wrong with you I couldn't tie shoe laces untill I was 12 years old.
I'm not very good at maths as I have a learning disability and went to a special school I can add up and take away but I went to a remidal class later.
I even tried to learn sign language to communicate with deaf people but even though I could do it I couldn't read the other person's signs and one girl called me stupid.
I was diagnosed with a learning disability as a child but in time went on to regular classes but I was always terrible at math. Took the bare min to graduate from high school. Went to college a while but didn't do very well and ended up dropping out. In some ways I'm very smart but in others I definately lack. I'm use to being a loner but I don't like it nor accept it. I oddly don't like being touched as well unless I invite it and I can really love it then but I have to be the one to start it and really care for you. If I really care for somebody though and make the move though I love body contact and hugging. Lately I'm being hounded a lot more about my driving and I'm just so sick of people thinking I'm lazy just telling me to suck it up and drive. I've tried and its something I can't seem to get over! I just want to scream at people sometime when they get on my case about driving, they just don't understand.
30 May 2012, 1:59 am
Much of that sounds familiar to me personally, or seems similar to things others have expressed time and time again around here. Many little things, like the fact I can't drive either. Or the fact I don't seem to be able to initiate friendships. At one time I didn't realize I couldn't do this; I had friends, I had always had friends. Then I moved to a new city. Now I know hardly anyone, despite having been here for the better part of a decade now. I had made my friends in school - or rather, they had made friends with me apparently - and I kept them, until I moved and lost contact. Work, is not the same as school, and being an adult is vastly different from being a child, in terms of making friends.
There's so much wrongful shaming against people who have one problem or another. It prevents people from dealing with their problems; it is pointless. And everybody has problems. There is nothing to be ashamed of, in having difficulty in life, or in having uncommon problems. You have just found a whole lot of people in a similar boat.
30 May 2012, 2:36 am
people shouldn't force you to drive if your uncomfortable with it.
I made sure when i moved there was a good bus service and I have my independence as I can go into town on the bus.
I can read and write and I'm very good at crossword puzzles they are things I'm good at but there are things I'm not good at like maths, measurements, driving of course and riding bikes I was never good at climbing when i was a child either.
I'm sure there are things you can do try not to worry about those you can't we have our limitations if you have your independence its a good thing to have.
PaintingDiva
Deinonychus
Joined: 27 Jul 2011
Age: 73
Gender: Female
Posts: 335
Location: Left coast aka Northern California
30 May 2012, 9:12 am
Welcome to Wrong Planet. You may find some answers here to your dilemmas. Your issues with driving, reminded me of a workshop I went to on Aspergers/Autism and transitioning to being an adult. The woman who gave the workshop, Michelle Garcia Winner, flat out said some people on the spectrum should not drive, ever. I found this article from the NY Times on the matter. It may give you some insight.
What about a bicycle? And I am completely serious, if you are in a rural area, it might work for you. However don't forget to wear a helmet, wear reflective clothing at night and ride defensively....As far as your job issues, maybe you can take one of those online tests for career choice, you are intelligent, not so hot at math, and can socially interact if you are a cashier, you can deal with the public. Keeping yourself organized sounds like the weak point. I dunno I am just responding to your post, I am not a career counselor but it seems to me there should be a better job for you somewhere. Good luck on your journey, here's the article on driving:
“Driving is a social act,’’ says Dr. Jamie Dow, the medical adviser for safety issues for Quebec’s government-run auto insurance and licensing agency. “It involves obeying rules and cooperating with other drivers.’’
For young people with Asperger’s, both parts of that equation can pose problems.
Obeying rules is generally a good thing, but can be taken too far if rules are applied inflexibly or without taking into context into account. For example, does a “Stop at White Line’’ sign mean that the line is where you should stop only if you need to stop — or that you should stop every time you come to it?
And cooperating with other drivers involves perhaps the hardest task for people with Asperger’s: reading nonverbal social cues. On the road, that happens through the “gestures’’ drivers make through the motion of their cars — by changing lanes boldly or hesitantly, for instance. Those motions amount to signals flashed from driver to driver so routinely that most people are hardly aware of the messages being sent about intention or mood.
“There’s some discussion in the field that driving in traffic is like reading a person’s face,” said Lissa Robins Kapust, of the DriveWise program at Beth Deaconess Medical Center in Boston. “The driving scene may be friendly, it may be frenetic, it may be angry.”
Ms. Kapust’s group has made a video, sponsored by the advocacy group Autism Speaks, that examines the trade-offs between the desire for independence and the safety issues for drivers with Asperger’s.
According to a survey conducted by Cecilia Feeley, a project manager at the Center for Advanced Infrastructure and Transportation at Rutgers University, only 24 percent of adults with autism — many of whom described themselves as “higher functioning” — said they were independent drivers, compared with 75 percent of the population as a whole.
But for many people, the surprise is that people with autism are driving at all. “Thirty years ago people didn’t think any kids with autism would be interested in driving, school or the other gender,’’ said Dr. Gary Gaffney, an associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Iowa College of Medicine. “Now we see they’re interested in all of the above. Now kids with Asperger’s syndrome are driving all the time, and we don’t really know the risks.”
A study led by Daniel J. Cox of the University of Virginia found high levels of concern among parents of teenagers who were on the autism spectrum. They cited worries about their children’s ability to concentrate, understand nonverbal communication and tolerate the unexpected. And while some techniques, like using a manual transmission, have been shown to be helpful in engaging teenagers with attention problems, they are not a good fit for people with Asperger’s, who often have trouble multitasking.
Kathleen Ryan, an instructor at Driving MBA, a school in Scottsdale, Ariz., said that keeping an open mind was important. “If you don’t go in thinking about their limits but think about their opportunity, they will never cease to surprise you,’’ she said.
Instructors of teenagers with Asperger’s tend to slow down the pace of instruction, breaking down tasks so they can be worked on one at a time. Ms. Ryan also includes time for role-playing situations that might fluster the student, like being pulled over by a police officer.
On the other hand, people working with teenagers with Asperger’s worry less about impulsive behavior. “It’s good that they’re more apt to follow the rules of the road,’’ said Dr. Patty Huang of the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. “They’re less likely to be reckless.”
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com
30 May 2012, 12:57 pm
What about a bicycle? And I am completely serious, if you are in a rural area, it might work for you. However don't forget to wear a helmet, wear reflective clothing at night and ride defensively....As far as your job issues, maybe you can take one of those online tests for career choice, you are intelligent, not so hot at math, and can socially interact if you are a cashier, you can deal with the public. Keeping yourself organized sounds like the weak point. I dunno I am just responding to your post, I am not a career counselor but it seems to me there should be a better job for you somewhere. Good luck on your journey, here's the article on driving:
“Driving is a social act,’’ says Dr. Jamie Dow, the medical adviser for safety issues for Quebec’s government-run auto insurance and licensing agency. “It involves obeying rules and cooperating with other drivers.’’
For young people with Asperger’s, both parts of that equation can pose problems.
Obeying rules is generally a good thing, but can be taken too far if rules are applied inflexibly or without taking into context into account. For example, does a “Stop at White Line’’ sign mean that the line is where you should stop only if you need to stop — or that you should stop every time you come to it?
And cooperating with other drivers involves perhaps the hardest task for people with Asperger’s: reading nonverbal social cues. On the road, that happens through the “gestures’’ drivers make through the motion of their cars — by changing lanes boldly or hesitantly, for instance. Those motions amount to signals flashed from driver to driver so routinely that most people are hardly aware of the messages being sent about intention or mood.
“There’s some discussion in the field that driving in traffic is like reading a person’s face,” said Lissa Robins Kapust, of the DriveWise program at Beth Deaconess Medical Center in Boston. “The driving scene may be friendly, it may be frenetic, it may be angry.”
Ms. Kapust’s group has made a video, sponsored by the advocacy group Autism Speaks, that examines the trade-offs between the desire for independence and the safety issues for drivers with Asperger’s.
According to a survey conducted by Cecilia Feeley, a project manager at the Center for Advanced Infrastructure and Transportation at Rutgers University, only 24 percent of adults with autism — many of whom described themselves as “higher functioning” — said they were independent drivers, compared with 75 percent of the population as a whole.
But for many people, the surprise is that people with autism are driving at all. “Thirty years ago people didn’t think any kids with autism would be interested in driving, school or the other gender,’’ said Dr. Gary Gaffney, an associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Iowa College of Medicine. “Now we see they’re interested in all of the above. Now kids with Asperger’s syndrome are driving all the time, and we don’t really know the risks.”
A study led by Daniel J. Cox of the University of Virginia found high levels of concern among parents of teenagers who were on the autism spectrum. They cited worries about their children’s ability to concentrate, understand nonverbal communication and tolerate the unexpected. And while some techniques, like using a manual transmission, have been shown to be helpful in engaging teenagers with attention problems, they are not a good fit for people with Asperger’s, who often have trouble multitasking.
Kathleen Ryan, an instructor at Driving MBA, a school in Scottsdale, Ariz., said that keeping an open mind was important. “If you don’t go in thinking about their limits but think about their opportunity, they will never cease to surprise you,’’ she said.
Instructors of teenagers with Asperger’s tend to slow down the pace of instruction, breaking down tasks so they can be worked on one at a time. Ms. Ryan also includes time for role-playing situations that might fluster the student, like being pulled over by a police officer.
On the other hand, people working with teenagers with Asperger’s worry less about impulsive behavior. “It’s good that they’re more apt to follow the rules of the road,’’ said Dr. Patty Huang of the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. “They’re less likely to be reckless.”
I have noticed a lot of people with autism that don't drive and that among other reasons is why I think I am on some level. It does bother me a lot and it keeps me stuck and no a bicycle wouldn't work here as very few places have a path for them plus given the distance a bicycle just doesn't work. Pretty much in my area if you want to get around you have to have a car. I don't want to be a cashier forever obviously as the pay is awful but I do fine with the job. Oddly with friends and people I've very social and excellent at socializing. Yet I'm so horrible at trying to start a romantic relationship, I'm awkward with that and at times don't really know what to do or so. I think I push sometimes too hard at that and maybe that scares people away but at times I feel like maybe I'm not effectionate enough so I'm just terrible. Can autistic people be great with people and socially fine but when it comes to romance that's where the social ticks kick in?
The relationship thing does bother me but really I'm getting older and I worry about my mess of a finances and what happens to me if I lose my grandmother who I live with. I don't have the finances to keep up this house and with no savings and debt I can't afford to go without a job yet I'd have no ride to work. I've been quite stressed lately wondering about my future and if I really have one. I need things to change but yes I feel stuck that at least for me I have no options. It does feel nice though to share this. Quite often I feel like I'm living at lie nobody knows about all this my grandmother knows about my issues though and she has never pushed me to drive, I think she understands at least. I just wish others would though I get sick of called a leech and lazy. I mean I DO work and I pay what I can here. I pay for my own food, I pay for gas in the car, I pay my credit card bills, I pay my cell phone bill. At times I have to have help and lately I have due to my hours being cut but I DO what I can. I'm not lazy and I always pay my fair share whenever possible even at times when I can't so I just put something on a credit card.
Thanks for the information everybody! Thanks for a community that understands too.
30 May 2012, 1:00 pm
I lived in a semi-rural area for a bit, where the distances were much too far for a push-bike, I almost considered getting a motorized bicycle - perhaps you could try that?
Be careful with those credit cards, eventually it gets to a point where you have to use them just to buy groceries because you have no money after making the payments. Vicious cycle.
I'm terrible with romance stuff too, this is probably the most anxious sort of social situation for me by a long shot. But I haven't been entirely unlucky here. I cannot say why. I think maybe I manage to make my awkwardness with it, disarming. I've never had any luck when I try to initiate things though. The most success I ever had there was one time I saw a woman I thought seemed interesting in a cafe, and I asked if I could share her table. We talked for a good long time actually, but it didn't go anywhere. I saw her some time later on a bus though and she said hello, so I guess I didn't screw it up too badly. But I have no idea how to initiate anything, or at least, not with someone new, and even with someone I'm with, only with great difficulty.
Last edited by edgewaters on 30 May 2012, 1:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
30 May 2012, 1:07 pm
I can't see that working. Lately I've just really wanted to work out my issue and to start driving. Other people have pushed me so much and honestly I want to. It scares the crap out of me but I want to and I just want to start learning but I'm not sure if I can or if I can if I'd even be a decent driver. The thought of it really stresses me out and I could totally see myself getting behind a wheel and just crying or stressing out. I can have anziety at times and it seems like when it hits me I just break down. I've really considered going to the doctor and talking about autism but from what I understand there is really no cure or medication for this.
I've been on and off anti depressents and anti anziety medication during my lifetime. I however have not been on any medications at all isnce 22 or so. They had a tendacy to make me feel better for a while but it's like after a while those medications made me feel like a zombie. That I wasn't happy, I wasn't sad. I was just here living day to day with no real emotion or feelings behind anything and I couldn't STAND that feeling. Now I use to have the medication just to go to work just to wake up out of bed for the day and really I can do all that by myself now. I do get depressed at times but I mostly just hide it and find a way to somehow snap myself partially out of it. So I really DON'T want to go back on any sort of anti depressent and anti anziety medication, not unless I have to. I do wonder though at times if I should go on something. Maybe just an anti anziety pill but no antidepressents?
30 May 2012, 1:19 pm
Is there anyone with a car willing to help you? I have driven, on backroads. I just haven't had access to a car to really practice much for the driver's test. I had a learner's permit for a while; I even took driver's ed in high school. Partially, I make excuses (not enough money for the license, no access to car) which actually are barriers but I think sometimes I also don't try because I fear driving. But I have driven, in traffic even. It's pretty hairy once you get into traffic - but I expect you probably get used to it, after a time. I think one of the big problems for me is that I feel like without lots of practice and getting used to it, without someone willing to spend time letting me practice, I won't be able to get used to it, ever.
Maybe if there's someone willing to help on a regular basis, you could start easy, like just get used to operating the vehicle in an empty parking lot to start out with and see how it goes from there. Take small steps, perhaps. Like first time goal just learn to start the car, and move it forward 30 yards and stop. End of lesson. Take it slow, like.
Why wouldn't a motorized bicycle work, though? It wouldn't be any good in the winter of course but other than that I can't see it being too problematic. People would probably embarass you about it, but then, they're already doing that over your driving. At least it would give you a little independance.
30 May 2012, 3:57 pm
A lot of what you said sounds very familiar.
When i was about 18 I picked up a book called Passages by Gail Sheehy. It basically maps out the developmental milestones from infancy to old age. I would suggest you NOT look at this book. It made me feel horrible and inadequate as I was not at all what this book considered normal.
All of my developmental milestones came late, and I felt deeply ashamed of that and lived in terror that people would find out.
My suggestion to you is to start out small. Try learning to tie your shoes. That took me forever to learn, and then one day, I could do it. If you are able to learn how to tie your shoes, it will give you a sense that you can do things you always said you couldn't.
As for the driving thing, some Aspies should not drive a car. You should find out if you are one of them. You can try to get over your fear of getting behind the wheel by slow, gradual exposure. Some people on this forum have claimed desensitization doesn't work with Aspies. I think it doesn't work for some Aspies, but if there is one thing I have discovered on this forum is that no two Aspies are the same. It might work for you.
Driving won't fix everything. I have been driving since I was 16. Now I am 51 and I have had a total of one relationship, and that one wasn't wonderful. But first thing is first. Try tying your shoes.
30 May 2012, 4:06 pm
I also have sadly never had a relationship. I quite often sit here at night and cry about this. I don't want to be alone I hate being alone but I feel like I'm going to pass from this world never connecting with anybody. I occasionally bond with somebody (very rarely) but it seems like the bond comes so fast but then fades away so fast. Sometimes I think I don't know how to read signs and I misread how somebody feels about me or I miss the cues they are sending to me in what they want. I'm excellent with friends and I have good and loyal friends but when it comes to forming a relationship I just can't seem to do it. I don't understand but I think part of this problem HAS to be me. Course I have had some people in the past tell me I'd never be loved and I think part of that is because I can't drive, I can't socially interact properly in this area without a license so these two problems tie into each other but I still feel like its a much deeper issue than a lack of a license.
Another issue I have thats worse at times than others is a very poor memory. I forget things very easily and I'm always misplacing things. I'll lay something down and forget where I put it although sometimes I can jog my memory. I've noticed many people remember things from 5-6 years old etc... sometimes younger. Well pretty much anything before 14 is a blank memory for me except rare bits and pieces. Honestly even high school graduating at 18 it seems like my memory is fragmented. I seem to have no ability to hold onto memories long term wise usually beyond a few years after that its like just pieces. I've been told by friends that I repeat things often and I have no memory of telling them this greatly upsets me. I'm sometimes told things multiple times by people and they feel like I don't listen but I do, its just I don't remember!
I have some odd lack of motor skills too as much as it pains to admit me I still can't tie my shoes... its like I lack that ability to do it. I'm also poor at math although just at higher levels I can do basic math just fine. I oddly seem to be very intelligant at some things yet well for a lack of a better word ret*d at other things. People say I'm a good listener when I can remember things, I have strong friendships with people yet no relationships. I seem to be decent at computers and technology and I'm a strong salesman. However this doesn't feel like enough. I admit I've had some problems moving beyond a cashier at my current work.
I briefly switched jobs to a wireless telephone call center and I really liked the job and I tried but I failed. While I'm good at computers it was just CRAZY how many documents we had to learn and memorize things. I was getting stuck on the same problems over and over again. Even with notes I'd just get confused and didn't know what I was doing, this lead to me getting fired very quickly after I started the new job. I only lasted with the phone company for 7 weeks before I was terminated. I don't want to be a cashier at a department store forever though but I feel like it's all I can do, cause everything else I've tried in I've failed at and I really try. Also I've always lived with a family member and I'd love to be out on my own but as I said stuck in a bad job with low pay and I don't drive so I'm stuck.
I'm very embarassed to say all of this but I feel like I need help. If I can get any? I'm just stuck at a point in life where I want to know whats wrong with me and CAN I fix this? At least can I manage it to have a normal life. I can't take this anymore. Being 31 with no life with no partner with nothing to call my own. I think people think I'm lazy and don't care but its not that. I try I just fail and I don't like being alone and having nothing to show for my life. I want my life to just be normal and to have all the other things that seem to be so common and so easy for others to have and I sit here and struggle everyday just to get by with my life even the way it is.
Thank You For Your Time and listening to this, I know its been a bit of a rant but any comments or suggestions would be apperciated.
Daniel
You should try to get a diagnosis to find out what causes your problems! It might really help you in a positive way.
Keep us posted in the meantime!
31 May 2012, 11:29 pm
Thanks for all the input. I do seem to have up and down moments I wonder if I have a bit of depression lately. Although I'm happy lately yet not if that makes any sense. I will admit I met a guy last week and it went great we clicked so awesome and it just seemed so deep and honestly he seems to pulled back from me the past couple of days and I'm wondering if its ME cause that happens so often with guys. Plus I'm worried about what if we do work out I'm so embarassed about the driving thing. In a small rural area in the south everybody has a car and everybody drives, even a woman around here is expected to know how to work on the basics of a car! That's just the way the culture is here. Course I hate lying and saying I've gotten a DUI or some other thing to cover the fact that I just don't have a license. I think it's beyond nerves though and as some pointed out on here some true asperger's people may never drive and maybe I need to just accept that. I'm fairly confident I'm autistic, high functioning in some ways but still I am certain I am.
I just want to have a normal and healthy life I guess and it frustrates me and whenever I seem to take one step forward I get knocked two steps back with my personal life, with a job that paid a lot better and I lost etc...
01 Jun 2012, 2:44 am
I'm very much the same way. While I can manage socially quite well I have big big issues with romantic relationships...
It's correct and indeed fair of you, but I have to agree with edgewaters:
This is actually true. I've seen a bad example for it that happened to my friend. It can be pretty nasty.
I would consider this, too, if I were you.
