What is a meltdown?

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Hi,
I keep hearing about meltdowns and I am not sure if my son has them. Can you stop a meltdown with a hug? Or just laying down? And about what age did they start?

TIA!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_H3-Sy-Mzk[/youtube]

They are different from tantrums, but many NTs can't distinguish the difference.

Well, all I can say that if you try to hug me or make me lie down when I'm having a meltdown, you are likely to get whacked like a mole!

As far as when they start...not sure, but I distinctly remember having major meltdowns in Kindergarten.

The same goes for me. I remember meltdowns before kindergarten as well - like in preschool.

It's also a bad idea to try to hug me during a meltdown - on top of the meltdown thing, I strongly dislike physical contact in general. Tight hugs are ok, but either way, hugs during a meltdown would be bad. The best thing for me, during/after a meltdown, is to be left alone.

I wouldn't advise hug during meltdown. Ask first before hugging.

I wish that was a universal rule.

I'm sensitive to hugs so if you hug me you mostly likely will be kicked constantly by me

To me, meltdowns are just like tantrum, except for no valid reason to other people. Or maybe for such trivial reasons it just doesn't make sense, say your butter slipped off your knife and you start crying. I'm sure it's valid enough for the person having it of course.

I don't quite remember mine. I stopped having meltdowns at 8 or so and that's such a long time ago. I remember being triggered by all sorts of things, like my brother touched my hair or not understanding a joke. I remember my mom brought me some wild flowers, and I burst into tears because they were not very beautiful. I cried until mom went and got me some prettier flowers. Actually even nowadays I have trouble being grateful for gifts if they're ugly. And of course everyone else seem to have tacky taste.

Hugs are OK for me if the person is clean and fat and good looking. Mostly my family just left me alone to cry it out. Sounds not nice but I can't think of any better approach. I can just imagine pushing people away if they tried to hug me. If the kid is little picking them up may help, for bigger kids better leave them alone if you can, unless hugs is one of his interests.

A tantrum is what happens when a child does not get their own way. They know it is wrong but they also know that if they pull a tantrum they will be more likely to get what they want. A tantrum is a voluntary reaction in which the goal is to get what they want via manipulation.

A meltdown is when something triggers the child, and as a result they have a meltdown because they cannot cope with being overwhelmed, overstimulated, with a change of routine or with things are generally not fitting into their world. A meltdown is an involuntary reaction to this because it is the only way they can cope (or the way they can't cope, however you want to look at it).

Hugs depend on the the child. Some children react horribly to hugs, it will only make their meltdown worse. Others react very well to hugs with deep pressure. It is up the child as an individual as to what they can and cannot handle. Try both ways on separate occasions if you are unsure, and note how they react or if they're older, simply ask them.

They start whenever they are triggered. Some children start at 1.5 years and others won't start until they are 5 or so. Often meltdowns are mistaken for tantrums and therefore they have have been having them for a long period of time, only the adults around do not realize the difference.

Last edited by Kjas on 01 Jun 2012, 9:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

I don't have meltdowns, I have outbursts.

Me too!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCBvGcMyQ5c&feature=youtube_gdata_player[/youtube]

This seems to be a good description. One good indication a child is throwing a tantrum is if they occasionally look at you to see if you're paying attention.

Also I would say that all children and people have meltdowns, not just people with aspergers so what ever calms them down in general will probably help. So if they like hugs and it calms them than that will probably help. If they do not like hugs then probably not

It's a song by The Gathering:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_Kqj5qmpXs[/youtube]

A word for a "tantrum caused by symptoms of an ASD".

Its opposite, the shutdown, is caused via the same, it's just not an overt reaction, rather a covert one.

Aggressive and passive, so to speak.

I belong in the passive corner.