Why do people feel the need to fight?

Post Reply New Topic

Today outside the pub we were having a smoke and these two quite blatantly drunk middle aged men came over and started throwing their weight around. One was trying to be semi-pleasant by explosively asking us what football clubs we support etc and doing the usual thing people do when they stand outside a pub and initiate conversation. This was just about bearable and we kind of let our feelings be shown that we didn't really fancy chatting to him. However the second one began walking over to me in a hefty, strong-footed fashion with one of those typical masculine stares that men have when they are feeling full of bravado and immediately began heckling me for a fight. I had literally said nothing. I moved away from him and he immediately told me to "get here". So we all just went back inside and carried on with our business.
I'm used to this type of thing happening. There's times when some people just want to fight for absolutely no reason. I simply cannot understand this. How can somebody want to hurt someone they don't even know? I think that this type of person should literally be locked up forever. They are horrible horrible people. I guess I'm just going through a really traumatic time recently and this really bothered me. A lot of the time I just look at some people and think "I actually don't understand you and your motives. What is wrong with you?".

That's a very good question. I see no point in fighting. If you fight, you're only going to get in trouble, and you might even end up hurt.

I've always wondered this also. I have next to no temper, so seeing people get all worked up over what are frequently the most trivial things never made any sense to me. I think this world would be a much better place if people realized that in 99% of situations, fighting doesn't do anyone any good and really is a lose-lose scenario.

You were outside a bar, what do you expect? If you really want to avoid people who are spoiling for a fight, you can start by avoiding places where drunks and druggies hang out. People under the influence are more likely to start fights, so avoid such places.

Totally agree. Most people who drink don't fight; and if you do fight, you get kicked out of the bar right quick. It's the brawlers who ought to get banned, not the peaceful passers-by.

Anyway, I think they fight because they've given in to those "animal instincts"--you know, the ones that say "I've got to posture and bark so that everybody else knows I can defend my territory". Socially skilled human beings don't actually fight that much; they only threaten and boast, and work things out that way. Some people are more contentious than others--some people go straight to talking things out; others use verbal aggression without any physical threats. It comes from being in a world where resources are limited, and our instincts say we've got to make sure nobody else takes what we've got. With maturity comes the ability to be assertive without being aggressive--to refuse to give up the right to be on the sidewalk, without needing to ban anybody else from it either. Unfortunately these guys don't seem to be too mature.

I'll agree that these particular guys were being a**holes. But I've seen similar attitudes toward physical confrontation here before. And I gotta ask; am I the only one here who thinks that throwing a punch sometimes is the right thing to do?

I don't just mean in danger though. I mean, there've been times that I've been so offended by someone's speech or behavior that I've started a fight. For most of these, even looking back at the situation more rationally and objectively, I believe I was in the right.

I don't know, maybe an example or two to clarify.

The night before election day 2008, I saw some pro prop 8 demonstrators on one of the major streets near my home. I ran to to the store, bought posterboard and markers for signs, and joined the anti 8 demonstrators on the other side of the street. One guy from the other side crossed over, I saw him screaming at the top of his lungs right in the face of a teenager. I went over and tried to make him leave the kid alone, and he screamed a few particularly hateful words into my face. So I hit him. He came at me, tried to grab at my arms, so I kept swinging until another guy pulled me off of him.

Another time, a supposed friend had a phone conversation with my gf where he tried to convince her to sleep with a friend of his. I could not tolerate that level of disrespect so, the next time I saw him, I shoved him against a wall, hit him in the stomach a couple of times, gave a couple of threats, and walked away.

In neither of these situations was I in any danger from the other person. I was deeply offended and (I think rightfully) angry. I had the option of walking away, but chose not to. And I think, and almost everyone who saw those events thinks, that I was in the right.