Page 1 of 1 [ 6 posts ] 

Butters
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jun 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 64

10 Jun 2012, 2:42 pm

Hi, I'm new, please ignore my nickname, A friend gave it to me in highschool because they thought I sounded like " Butters" from south park when I talked lol.

Anyway. My partner of four years ( off and on mind you ) recently found out he MAY have Asperger's He's been talking to a social worker at school who thinks he may have it. Before he'd been treating himself for what he thought was just depression and he's currently on Effexor and Anti-depressant.

He is very smart, he loves to read, one of his er... obsessions I suppose, along with Martial Arts, Knives, Fishing and video games.

We have been talking about this a lot. and I'm trying to get a better understanding of what Asperger's is and how to properly handle a relationship with someone with AS, We've had a lot of struggles but we love each other very much and I want to understand more about this so I don't do things that make him uncomfortable like I have in the past.

He has trouble socializing in most cases, he has anxiety when in public, and my main fear with that is, What jobs can he do? In a few months I'll be moving to be with him, and we may be living together. I will already be on SSI because I have mild Cerebral Palsy, a nurological and muscle condition because of it I can only work part time.

Currently he is in college right now studying to get his Associate's in Phycology.
The thing is tho if we want to live together he will need a job to help out. I dont want him doing something that will make him uncomfortable.

Any advice, with the relationship, or with the job ideas will be of great help and I would apprechiate anything anyone has to offer me.

Thank you for your time



Greb
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 May 2012
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 964
Location: Under the sea [level]

10 Jun 2012, 2:58 pm

There's guides about Asperger and relationships. They worth a try (I just selected one at random, so don't take this specific title as an advice. If you go to 'Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought' area you can find other ones about the same subject). Just one piece of advice: it's usually much better (and useful) if who wrote it has AS.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Asperger-Love ... 141291910X



redrobin62
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Apr 2012
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,009
Location: Seattle, WA

10 Jun 2012, 3:04 pm

Good luck with your relationship. I looked online and saw people with Associates degrees in Psychology get jobs like being a medical receptionist or orderly in a state mental hospital. Seems like all the "real" psychology jobs go to those with bachelor's or master's degrees as this is a highly competitive area.



Blownmind
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Feb 2012
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 825
Location: Norway

10 Jun 2012, 3:33 pm

I can recommend "The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man's Quest to Be a Better Husband" by David Finch

The author has Aspergers, and he didn't find out until 5 years into his marriage. My wife really enjoyed reading it, and she feels she understand me alot better now. I've not completed it yet, but I look forward to.


_________________
AQ: 42/50 || SQ: 32/80 || IQ(RPM): 138 || IRI-empathytest(PT/EC/FS/PD): 10(-7)/16(-3)/19(+3)/19(+10) || Alexithymia: 148/185 || Aspie-quiz: AS 133/200, NT 56/200


LaughingT
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jun 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 2
Location: California

10 Jun 2012, 3:58 pm

I just finished a book, 'Loving Someone with Aspergers' and recommend it....



Butters
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jun 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 64

10 Jun 2012, 7:17 pm

Thank you all so much I'll go to the local library and see if they have any of the books you guys reccomended. Right now money is kind of tight with the move coming up we are long distance right now and I'll be moving from Ohio to Pennsylvania here in a few months.

Being long distance makes it harder on us. But now that he's found out what he may have and now having some answers, it really helps him. It also helps me understand why we've had so many issues in the past. Now knowing why, we can possibly make our relationship stronger.