Do you ever wish you can somtimes escape adulthood?

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Being an adult is so stressful sometimes because of things I run into that stress me out. Back when I was a kid, I didn't have to worry about any of that stuff because mom and dad always took care of it. They did everything for me as a kid. Then when I became an adult, I forced myself to try and do things on my own and now I feel I have reached a point where I can't do it anymore so I feel I have been shutting down so I avoid it and be lazy about it. Sometimes I fear I am getting worse like some aspies because I have read horror stories on here about aspies getting worse because they burn out. I am hoping this is just a phase for me and then I will snap out of it and be good as new for a while like I have before. But this has been going on for months.

I have always found simple things stressful, they're easy for my husband and not a big deal but for me they have always been hard and stressful. He says it's my anxiety but my anxiety comes after all that. Doing it all gives me stress because I push myself to do it and then it leads me to a freak out or a meltdown or a breakdown because I push my limits. I just feel I am being lazy if I don't do it so I do it and then I end up freaking out as a result and crying and not being calm and then having a bad day and it takes me a while to recover from it. For the first time he said I am not lazy and it's just part of my AS. He has said in the past I need to stop being lazy and it's never bothered me because I knew I was and I just have to try harder and suck it up. When my husband decided to take care of everything from now on, I have had them a lot less and things were better between us but with him being sick, he can't do as much so I have to be an adult again and then I have meltdowns. Going to work is hard sometimes and my husband wanted me to call in sick and I said I didn't want to be lazy because he isn't working and we need the money.

Sometimes I wish I can escape the adult world where I don't have to worry about anything and I would be more calm and relaxed. Now as an adult you have to worry about bills, finances, keeping a roof over your head, food, work, filling out forms, etc. things kids don't have to worry about because grown ups do that, not kids. Plus parents make food for dinner and kids don't ever have to stress out about meal plans or what they are going to buy at the store or what they be cooking for dinner that week. All that planning I find overwhelming and stressful. My husband can't meal plan and cook because of his condition so I am on my own and I hardly ever eat because of it. When I do eat, it's not even a meal. Sometimes he forces me to eat something he thinks is a meal because according to him, what I had was not enough.

But yet I wouldn't want to be a real kid meaning go back in time to the days when I was still a kid because I had limited freedom and I don't want that life again since I am so used to my own freedom and my own choices and not being told what to do and how to live my life. Plus I have my own money to spend and can do what I want with it. Sometimes I wish I could escape the adult world where it's too stressful and not have to worry about it anymore. Paradox I know. My eyes still hurt from this morning and I don't feel happy right now and it feels like a bad day and I keep pacing around my apartment. Damn I still have to go to work and I refuse to call in sick.

Anyone ever feel this way?

I think I have escaped adulthood. I don't work and live at home with my mother. I don't know what is going to happen when she is gone, especially if I don't get a good inheritance.

Yes. I definitely feel I've regressed, I haven't had regular sleep since before my son was born and it shows.

My husband says I am a kid now than an adult. I tell him, kids don't go to work and make money. Kids don't have kids to raise (not counting teen moms). My parents came out and got him (our son) so I have less stress now. It was mainly because of my husband not being well and can't care for him while I am at work. But I also realize it's good for me too.

Wow, I am sorry you are going through so much stress, League_girl. My daughter is a lot like you, and she gets really stressed out when she has to take on adult duties, like finding an apartment and paying rent, etc. I used to get really overwhelmed, and still do when I have too many domestic duties to fulfill. Even though I am glad to have a husband, sometimes I really get resentful when I have to make supper or do laundry. But since he works and I can't since I am disabled, it's a fair exchange. I hope you can learn some coping skills or figure out to prioritize so that things don't overwhelm you so much!

Wow it sounds like you've got a lot on your plate so to speak, but finding things you can eat that are ready-to-go might help your stamina so you can function.

I was always so freaked out that bad things were going to happen that I never really got to enjoy being a kid, I compensate for some it now with a different outlook, playing around with my interests and even dressing more like a kid, or at least with a DILLIGAF attitude about my clothes. I've experienced MDs over stress that I'm beginning to realize that if someone want me to do something they'll have to express it, I've exhausted myself enough running around trying to save the world

If some stress can be avoided, like it's not so important that you get them done, then it's best to avoid it. Try explaining to your husband that it's burning you out.

When I get burnt out I do turn into a child. To deal with confusing emotions I go into my own fantasy world, play like planes like a little kid, run a round like a little kid, even my voice sounds younger. The most prominent feature is the increase in hand flapping and laughing.

I've got more responsibilities these days and hardly any help so I have to do it myself and I do get exhausted and stressed out from it. I know I need my social breaks, my city breaks too. When I first moved into my sister's house that week I was doing so much and I was feeling confused while every two days I would collapsed on my bed and break down crying. I also had an increase in social anxiety and a regression of my skills. I decided then to just slow down and pace myself.
I'm doing a lot better now. I've recovered some skills, I'm dealing with the anxiety and all I want to be is well fed and having a decent level of communication with other people. There's so much more I'd like to improve on and stress is still everywhere but I know if I don't slow down I'd just regress again.

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a hard time, League_girl. I hope things get better for you in the future.

This sounds a lot like me. I'm on disability and I live at home with my parents and younger brother. My parents don't want me to work or live on my own because they know it would be too overwhelming and stressful on me. Even everyday chores and hygiene maintenance can be too much for me to handle sometimes. Not to mention the fact that I am very gullible, naive and forgetful - a deadly combination for a young woman because it would make it easy for predators to take advantage of me if I were to live on my own. I also can't drive because I'm very jumpy and easily frightened in the car.

Last edited by IdahoRose on 14 Jun 2012, 6:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Have escaped it too.

Too stressful for me due to the effort involved.

Yes!

In fact, when I was still quite young I realized I was going to have a difficult time being an adult, and I just tried to enjoy childhood as much as I could while it lasted. Being an adult brought the need to survive by keeping a job and a roof over my head, and putting up with that requirement until I could retire.

I have finally almost escaped it, but then again not really.

My way of coping is to immerse myself in books that I loved as a child; vintage Nancy Drew, the Laura Ingalls Wilder series, etc. I also peer through my kaleidoscope, listen to music, play with my cat and hide indoors too afraid to go out.

Not yet. Though I fear I might once I graduate college and get out on my own. I'm doing fine right now since I really like my classes, and my parents are covering rent so I don't have to work at the same time. I think I'll still be ok if I get a job I like (preferably something creative) and can afford a clean comfortable apartment with internet.

Really, one of my greater adult fears would be working well below my qualifications in a job that requires lots of social interaction with lots of new people (such as a cashier like I used to be), and having a hard time making ends meet after all that effort. I'm generally pretty good at covering up my aspie traits in public. But in a stressful situation like that, it's very easy for me to get anxiety and depression. My social/sensory difficulties are also amplified and I'd get less and less employable by the day, let alone happy.

Hopefully tomorrow you will find a stronger you.

All the time! While there are some pluses to being an adult, the adult world and me have never really clicked. Sure, I own a house and pay my bills on time, but I have never quite felt like I fit in with most adults. (Then again, I never quite fit in with the other kids either.) I don't get what they do for fun. All it looks like is a bunch of drinking and sex, neither of which I do. (I don't like drinking and sex...well... I lack the needed social skills to try that one.) So, all that is left of adulthood for me is the boring parts.

I can indeed identify with all you wrote (guess why my avatar is my 6yo self currently), except that I don't have a spouse. Imagining myself with one and a kid is something I'm not sure I would be able to handle, for the very reasons you mentioned.

I've been in a serious relationship before and I know for fact that in a sense it felt great because I had someone beside me and I hoped I'd have a kid soon and one of my dearest dreams would finally come true. Now all this seems to stay in the realm of dreams.

So, perhaps you are in a period or phase when you feel a bit aimless or empty. I'm not sure what would help, perhaps you should look for your interests more often, see places and people you like, or do activities like your special interests or anything that would make you happier. Maybe you could combine your interests with the interests of your husband and your kid, to make the whole thing more efficient.

I would like to escape adulthood and have my childhood days back again. It was so much easier to socialise because when my cousins came over all we did was play and we had more in common, whereas now if they come over all they talk about is drinking, clubbing, and their boy/girlfriends.