Shut-down, brain-freeze, Crash?

Post Reply New Topic

I experience this every couple of months, when I have been too busy, or there has been too much going on, too many people around or just not had enough time alone. It feel as though my brain just 'shuts down' and I can't take in any more information. I can't stand even the TV, or any music, which usually makes me less stressed, but during one of these 'shut-downs' I can't stand any noise at all, and can't take in any information. Understanding someone talking to me is very difficult and there is a kind of time lapse, like it takes extra seconds to process the meaning of the words. It usually lasts about 4 days, then I gradually start functioning again.
It is hard to describe, but it feels more severe than the usual feeling of the need to be alone, it is more like a need to avoid any stimuli at all. An NT woman I know who has epilepsy has told me that too much stimulation like bright lights, loud noises, bring on a seizure, so in this respect it sounds similar.

I would like to understand it better, and if possible anticipate it happening so I can try to avoid it, or at least stop it being so severe and disabling.

Does anyone else experience this, maybe there is a proper name for it so I can read more about it? Is there anything I can do to stop it happening?

I experience this every now and then as well. (doesn't last 4 days though, more like a day-24 hours)

I can't handle social interaction without having to take breaks every 30 minutes or so. I get this pounding headache (like an ache in the whole skull) if I'm not allowed to take breaks. Once the headache's there, it won't go away for at least 12 hours. My ability to process information doesn't work as well as it normally does. Music or tv makes it worse (even though music normally make me feel better)
It's like a tention headache that won't go away until you release some of the pressure that's building up. My meltdowns are often triggered by this headache.

I think this is what they call a 'meltdown' - or so I've read since my dx, although I've experienced the phenomenon all my life.

For me, these take two forms: the first is like you both describe. It's a more gradual, gentle (sorry, can't think of another way to explain it!), barely perceptible (until it's imminent) shutdown due to being bombarded by too much sensory info. My brain just slows and stops processing stuff until it's rested, which can take from 4-6hrs to a week or so depending on the overload I suppose.

The second form is more immediate and sometimes far more spectacular. If, say, someone is pressing me hard to explain myself, my feelings etc, and I sense attack or a flavour of criticism everything just shuts down immediately. I get completely tongue-tied and have a picture of a sort of tv 'snowscreen' in my mind - no thoughts or anything, just everything scrambled and fuzzy, I am not able to take in ANY info, conscious or unconscious. If they persist (say, because they assume I'm being deliberately obtuse and/or stupid), I have been known to go into a completely involuntary and BIG meltdown - that is, massive sobbing for hours or total rage. I hate this: I'm normally an intelligent, very articulate, very logical and courteous human being...these sort of meltdowns render me an absolute gibbering wreck, and gobsmack everyone around me as well as damaging relationships. (But, hey, what is it that people sometimes just do not or will not listen to courteous, logical, articulate answers/requests...?? )

From long experience, I know that there's absolutely nothing I can do to stop either form once the triggering cirumstances are in train. That is, they are completely involuntary. What I have learnt to do is control my environment and restrict sensory inputs - and I try very hard not to get into the sorts of dialogues that press the BIG meltdown button, I try hard to see them coming so that I can head off the crash.

This has happened to me all my life, and I was always told it was simply impatience or lack of control, until recently finally realising, its DEFINATELY stress related.

It seems the powerful logical mind I have, has little to no control over my true emotions, hence the "huge" drives and passions and obsessions, when its released in concentrated form it is uncontrollable.

"Meltdowns" for me feel like screaming in my head, it feels like total rage beyond my own comprehension, it feels like the pain of the world....

Its very hard to explain actually

Is *that* what it is? Every time I learn something new about being an aspie, it explains a part of my whole life. There are times when I can't talk, even though I'm highly verbal. Since I gave myself permission to sound like a fool, I don't have phone-phobia any more.

But - you mean I'm not a rude, socially inept, inconsiderate scoundrel?

hahah the phone can be entertaining, being or sounding foolish can be ok when its not stressful.

I know the times when I've been rude, or arrogant, or horrible, I remember them too well..

The times I've simply been unable to restrain myself, or unable to stop my feelings overwhelming me, are too many to count..

wait...

about 20 times?

Sensory Overload....

Book I found interesting... "Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too tight" By Sharon Heller, Ph. D

Yep...I will avoid driving or anything involving concentration when I have times like that...the lights may still be on, but no ones home so to speak...

YES! I love that book too. It's helped me a lot with sensory overload. I recommend it highly.

For me its not senses as in sight, smell, touch, sound, until the moment of the meltdown..

Sure I've always known I hear things a little different, and read too much or too little from the tone in peoples voices. But I never overload on these things, when I overload and lose it, it feels like my thoughts themselves are too much for me to handle, like so much self-loathing fighting in a moment against its complete opposite, I think "meltdowns" could be a symptom of conflict between hemispheres, kind of when logic, which drives us, dies, and the feelings that are usually so strong beneath overwhelm. Every meltdown I've had has involved trying to explain something impossible and failing over a long time, or some realisation that I was avoiding but hit me straight after.

So to me these breakdowns are inevitable, its simply a question of whether I do it alone, or I hurt people, obviously I don't want to hurt people.


Whoops I wandered off track, what I'm trying to say is my senses is never why I'm pushed to losing the plot, its always stress, or holding something in too long, or telling myself it can wait when I know a certain obsession will not...

My vision, sound, touch, etc all goes haywire when I'm losing it but to me its more a symptom of the meltdown than the cause..

I had a day like that on tuesday.. Didnt want to do anything

It never occurred to me to look for a cause, other than fatigue. When I'm tired I can hear layers of sound that I can't hear when I'm rested. I wonder if what you mention as trying could be causal for me too ...

Only real solution is to modify things so you're not taking in and dealing with as much cumulative information, at least not of the kinds that are the most overloading to you. Which isn't always possible, of course, because there's only so far you can cut back stimulation or find modifications and so forth. Passing for NT tends to eat up a ton of mental energy, so the less that you do that (not sure if you do or not) the less overloaded you'll be cumulatively.

And even if you make those modifications, it'll still happen, just less badly and less often.

Yes, I do try and 'pass as an NT' in the outer world, not all the time, but it does use up a lot of energy. I used to do it all the time at work and was always so tired, now I understand why.

I do find it more difficult now I'm getting older, it's certainly more tiring anyway, plus now I know I'm aspie I am not beating myself up over it. I think I'll have to consciously try and avoid overload rather than overloading then just hoping meltdown doesn't happen, because of course, it will. It's a necessity, not a life-style choice, (horrible term but you know what I mean). Planning ahead will help I think.

I am going to look for Sharon Heller's book on Amazon now.

Thank you all for your thoughts and experiences about this. It helps a lot to know I'm not the only person to experience these things.

I get system shutdowns too, just have to avoid light, outside world and noise for bit to recharge, I've also had to move away from the city too becasue there was just too much bustle and sensory info going in.

This has been happening to me all my life... and I always wondered how someone like myself, articulate, bright, logical - as mentioned above - could be like this...

With me, as soon as I feel emotionally stressed as described above, all my clever responses and eloquent metaphors fly out the window. I can barely speak intelligibly if it's a really bad one, and... and I'm not happy about this... but I have engaged in self destructive behavior.

It has nothing to do with CONSCIOUSLY wanting to hurt myself, at all!! ! But when I have a "meltdown" or whatever, it's like I can't control it, the irresistable urge to

a) slam my head or my fists into hard things or
b) bite myself...

I have had to go get 5 stitches in my forehead last spring because of a fight I had with my boyfriend during a very stressful time in my life (an ex-boyfriend / old friend had just comitted suicide...)

Of course, that last one is the ultimate extreme. I hope something that bad never happens again... I'm a horrible liar and people at work ask questions...

Whoops...

Damn server making me repeat and look bad

By the way...

I love you all

Last edited by Scintillate on 13 Oct 2006, 12:08 am, edited 1 time in total.