So I am a good socialiser underneath?

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I've just been thinking about something today. I am a good speller, and when I spell a word wrong (because of not knowing how to spell it) I can still tell that I have spelt it wrong because it doesn't look right, and so I keep writing it in different possible ways until it looks right, and most times I have got it right in the end, just by sensing that it's right. And it's the same with socialising - when I make a social error, I can still tell that I have done or said something that seems a bit odd to other people, and so I analyze it in my head and suddenly work out what I should have done/said in that situation.

So if I can sense that I have made a spelling mistake because I am a good speller, then somehow I must be a good socialiser if I can sense when I make a social mistake, so the social knowledge must be in me somewhere I can't get to. I am no good at maths, so if I get a hard sum wrong, like 16+32=42, that is the wrong answer but I can look at it but can't sense whether it's wrong because I am useless at maths anyway. So I can't be as useless at socialising as I am at maths because then I would be more unaware of when I have made a social error.

Then sometimes I wonder if I do have AS, because I can read social cues, understand jokes, and good with recognising body language. But then I think, yeah I must have AS because I have sensory issues with sound, trouble dealing with change, let my obsessions take over my life and I talk about it non-stop to family, have frequent angry outbursts over silly things, and I'm very hard work at home. So I must have AS if I have all those, but my social issues seem to just be more typical to a person with extreme shyness and social phobia, more than a typical Aspie.

Unless being good or bad at social skills is a little different to being good or bad at maths and spelling, being that social interaction rules are less logical/precise than numbers and spelling rules?

AS is in the eyes of the beholder. I've gone to so many psychs, and I've gotten everything from "You're pretty cool dude, nothing is wrong with you at all!" To "Wow, you're nuts." So as far as "having" AS, it's not a concrete thing, it's totally subjective to other people's opinions. In this case, it's best to get multiple opinions, and sort of "average" them together, and see what the general consensus is.

As far as knowing social rules, it depends. I'm sort of the opposite, generally if I'm feeling good, I'm pretty outgoing, but still lacking in the social rules/body language department. But, I won't be anxious about it, so I'll be totally awkward and confident at the same time. So some people, when they see that, they'll say "Oh, you're too outgoing/not shy to have AS" but they've not spent any substantial amount of time with me.

Nobody really knows, though.

It's possible to have AS with only mild social problems. If your major issue is with information-processing in general, sensory processing in particular, language or the multi-tasking needed to get all of the information and process it fast enough to figure out what someone means--you could be autistic with less-than-average social impairment. The diagnostic criteria state that all the traits taken together have to cause impairment; so the social skills problems may even be sub-clinical, if other traits are strong enough.