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Jamesy
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27 Jun 2012, 9:13 am

I would like too live in my own house one day. whenever my parents are away i usually do a good job of keeping the house clean and tidy.

i think if i did live in my own place i could cook for myself and do the washing up etc....

the challenges though that my aspergers might bring is

shopping- I don't always like large crowds and i have got sensory issues too some things but by no means would it be impossible too for me too shop for and hey there is always online shopping :)

holding down a job - defo the most challenging aspect cause i need too get a job that i will be able too hold down despite my sensory problems (sensitivy too movment and sometimes sound etc.) and not so good communication skills. you don't need too get a very challenging job too live in a small medicore house right?



driving- not really a cause for concern for me if i live within walking distance of town and if i wanted too get too work everyday i could simply take the train. buy yeah overall driving would be more easier and conveniant than taking a train (cause of my sensory issues)


loneliness - i might get very lonely and depressed if i live in a house all by myself :(


do you think i could live by myself? I do feel though that my parents are apprehensive too let me live by myself even though i am 22.



McAnulty
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27 Jun 2012, 9:23 am

In many cities you can order groceries online, so you can avoid going to the store. Otherwise you can find out the times where there are less likely to be a lot of people at the store and go then.
As for buying a house, this depends in where you live. Where we live you can't get a house without a well paid job, but you could afford rent with a minimum wage job if you get a small 1 1/2 or 2 1/2. If you find it impossible to hold down any type of job after trying to for awhile you can always apply for disability, although this would be a last resort because it doesn't pay much. You could also find a roommate to reduce costs if you think you can handle living with someone else, some people don't like to do that and that's okay too.
If you think you can handle independent living skills by yourself then I think you should be able to live on your own. And if you need a little help maybe your parents could give you hand, just to make sure you have everything you need. It might help you to write out a plan of how you plan to take care of all the responsibility that living on your own entails.



Jamesy
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27 Jun 2012, 9:30 am

yeah defnintly my parents could help me out with some things.

i would like too live with somebody eventually



CyborgUprising
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27 Jun 2012, 9:37 am

If you have close friends, perhaps they can room with you and do the grocery shopping for you.



Jamesy
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27 Jun 2012, 9:48 am

thats a great idea about living with my friends... at the moment though my friends like me are living with there parents.

2 of my mates have very well paying job so i don't get why they would still want too live at home :?



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27 Jun 2012, 10:46 am

Jamesy wrote:
thats a great idea about living with my friends... at the moment though my friends like me are living with there parents.

2 of my mates have very well paying job so i don't get why they would still want too live at home :?


Perhaps they are saving up a down payment on a house? or to have a cushion against the proverbial rainy day?

It sounds like a job that provides sufficient means is your biggest hurdle.

If loneliness becomes a problem, perhaps you could adopt a cat?


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Jamesy
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27 Jun 2012, 11:02 am

i am not really interested in owning a pet. i prefer human company too that of an animal.



Jtuk
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27 Jun 2012, 4:20 pm

Have you managed the house for a week or two when your parents have gone away? A practice run could give you some real confidence.

You mentioned also getting a job, my advice to you would be to tackle one thing at a time. I would suggest getting your employment worked out first. You might find that trying to take on two new stressful things at once really hard. In your first days of work, you might need your parents support.

There are lots of other things to do when you are living alone, which you might not have considered:

Cleaning - There is more to do than hoovering and tidying, cleaning the oven, fridge, furnishings, toilet, bathroom. Defrosting the freezer, etc.

Laundry - Including towels, curtains, bedding etc.

Household Repairs - From basic things such as changing fuses through to minor painting, blocked sinks, toilets, etc..

Gardening - Assuming you have a garden, you'll have to keep that tidy and in repair.

Bills - Don't underestimate the importance of budgeting and paying the bills on time. This often comes down to phoning irritating call centres, banks and writing letters to clear up inevitable problems.

None of these things should put you off, but you really must have a plan for keeping on top of them. If I had to live alone again, I'd get a cleaner/helper in for a few hours a week to catch up on the cleaning and to keep me honest.

Good luck!

Jason.



Jamesy
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27 Jun 2012, 5:35 pm

Well i could always hire a gardner if i want too keep my garden looking nice.

sure i could clean the house but if there were any issues with the sink i could call in a proffesional.



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27 Jun 2012, 5:57 pm

I have been living on my own for almost. Two years, now it's fun taking care of yourself. But I do miss living at home some times with my mom.



lostgirl1986
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27 Jun 2012, 6:28 pm

I've lived on my own before and I miss it so much. The only reason I live with my parents right now is because of financial and mental health reasons but I plan to move out very soon.



deltafunction
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27 Jun 2012, 7:56 pm

Independent living is awesome and definitely something you should give a try. If worse comes to worse, just move back in with your parents afterwards!


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Callista
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27 Jun 2012, 8:24 pm

I think what you're needing is probably something in between "living with parents" and "living completely without help other than what NTs get"--sort of an intermittent support thing, so that you handle day-to-day stuff yourself, but get help with the more complex things. Have you got a therapist, doctor, or similar that you can talk to about how you might be able to live on your own, what support you might need, and how you might solve problems that come up while you are learning? Usually they have experience, or know people who have experience, with transitioning somebody out of their parents' home and into an apartment of their own. Initially, you may want to keep parents' financial support and have a part-time job instead of a full-time one, or even no job at all, while you learn the necessary skills.


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