Frustrated in the grocery store

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What I'm describing here has bothered me for..really, as long as I can remember. Almost every time I go to the grocery store with my parents, I get separated from them. It'll start when I'm looking at something on a shelf or when I go to the next aisle to grab what I need. When I return to the place where I left my parents, they'll have moved on to another part of the store. This greatly upsets me, and I'll begin to search up and down all the aisles, growing increasingly anxious and angry until I find them. They might only be a couple aisles over from where I last saw them.

I am nearly 18 years old and I feel bad for acting like this. It always feels like the other shoppers are staring at me and wondering why I look so angry/scared - this in turn makes me more upset. It's not a huge deal because I know that I will eventually find my parents, and the anger surrounding the situation will resolve itself. But in those moments when I'm searching the store for them, it's frightening. Is this bordering on the edge of a meltdown? Can anyone relate?

Maybe you could check with them how far they will go before your rejoin them - e.g. "I'm just going to grab _____, see you in the next isle", "I'm going to find _______, wait at the cereals for me"

That's a good idea. I really need to tell them this with more urgency. I've asked them in the past not to go too far but they do anyway - I think they think I'm joking.

Not going too far away is also vague and unspecific. To my mind that would mean to stay within where I can see from this spot, however to thier mind it may mean to stay within a few isles or within the store or whatever.

Definitely within the store...I can imagine how I'd act if they left!

Haha, yes, it can be frustrating trying to communicate these sorts of things to people.
I see a physio regularly, and recently they switched the physio working on that day without telling me before the appointment, there is absolutely no way I was prepared to deal with a different physio from normal and I cant understand why they did not think it would be necessary to tell the previous physio's patients (i.e. me) that there had been a change beforehand.

In a place like Walmart I'd say I would be in Electronics and they'd just come find me.

Or better yet, aviod shopping with other people.

This happens to me nearly every time I go to the store with my mum, I get more anxious and angry with every step I take, and if I don't find her in a certain amount of time I can become disoriented and get lost in certain stores(like walmart). This I believe is borderline meltdown, I know this because when she's actually moved onto another store without telling me I had a meltdown.

Thank you for your responses. I'm building up to where I can be independent enough to shop on my own. It's one of the things that scares me about going out on my own, along with driving, working....well, I'm sure you guys know what I'm talking about. Are these things difficult for most people with AS?

What scares you about going out on your own? Sorry, I dont know what you are referring to.

It's ok, I should have mentioned that I'm going away to college next year. I'm going to be a senior this year so have plenty of time to prepare. It's so hard for me to do these things alone because I get so overwhelmed. With driving, I'm afraid I'll forget something important and hurt somebody or make other drivers angry. It boils down to being afraid of people.

Oh, that makes sense, I have been studying by distance and will study internally for the first time next semester - it has taken a while to get to this point of wanting to try internal study, though I will still live at home and will just travel in for classes. I get overwhelmed a lot too, especially by new things. The first time I went into the university library last semester I had one of my worst instances of sensory overload, though I am slowly getting to know how to handle things better. In what way are you afraid of people?

I probably also should have mentioned that I've been diagnosed with social anxiety. I've had it for almost 7 years. It began in late elementary school after experiences with bullying. Basically I became very paranoid that people were talking about me behind my back, and I felt like my every movement was being watched and criticized by those who had teased me. Many physical symptoms of anxiety developed - the shaking and intense sweating, hiding, etc. After three years of this, I sought therapy, which eventually led to my therapist suggesting that my descriptions strongly fit Asperger's. And here I am.

Applying this to the present-day...I'm afraid that people are going to do the same thing - that they will criticize the way I do things or my appearance, my driving, anything. I'm afraid to get into relationships of any kind even though I want to. With AS, it isn't that I misunderstand facial expressions or sarcasm...I misunderstand people as a whole. I can't relate to them. I fear them. I have friends but they are not close.

Sorry for the long-winded outpouring. Thanks for talking though

Yes I dont understand people as a whole, relationships, emotions, non-verbal communication, indirect communication etc. I dont have emotional connections to people, and after losing interest in having friends several years ago have only recently developed a couple of new friendships - though understandably they are not close friendships. What scares me about people is that I struggle to handle thier emotions, and the associated unpredictability in interacting with them, I am also aware that they have the power to negatively impact my situations and be barriers in my life if they want to.
I'm not too familiar with social anxiety, however I think you will find that, although you cannot get along with everyone all the time, there are people who wont criticize who you are or what you do. I think the tricky thing is to identify such people and trust them enough to learn to relax around them.

we're a lot alike, I feel very similar to how you feel.

I can shop on my own but it's hard for me, and it'll be a few years at least before I'm ready to move out. Being around people, I always feel like they're judging me, like I need to be perfect or everyone will get upset with me, and because of this I don't like to be around people, I'd love to have friends.... but that's never worked out for me in the past and I'm afraid to make friendships now

I also have a hard time driving, I'm so afraid I'll make a mistake and hurt the car,or even worse hurt somebody, and other drivers scare me too(I can drive just fine on country roads when there are no other cars around though)

I'm just about 20 and I'm terrified of being out on my own, especially because I haven't been able to hold a job for more then 2 months and school.... well school has never gone well for me. And without my mum supporting me at home, I'd have no support from anybody! I'd be likely not to leave my "home" because I'd be to afraid and my mum wouldn't be there to push me(she doesn't push me a lot, just enough to "get the ball rolling" as it were)