Repeating yourself and inability to summarize

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I was wondering if anybody else here has this problem (as I'm not really sure if I have AS, more likely just possess certain qualities). My... er .... significant other often gets especially annoyed with me because I will repeat myself a lot, especially when I ask questions about a specific topic. I feel, for some reason, that she doesn't understand what I'm saying, so I'll ask the same question in a variety of different ways, adding extra details each time. Which makes her think that I think that she's stupid (obvious negative consequence). I don't catch on to the fact that she probably understands exactly what I'm saying/asking. Also, I get chastised by many of my friends and family for not getting to the point in a conversation. I have a really big problem adding extra details that don't really matter. It's really annoying, even for myself, but I can't help. I can't divorce the necessary from the unnecessary.

I hate book summaries and can't read them until I'm at least halfway through the book. I often repeat the same things over and over, and am too detailed.

I used to say way too little on a subject, and I couldn't figure out how to write a lot of fluff in an essay, or speak it. Then I had the problem where I wrote too much fluff, and spoke too much and didn't get to the point. Now, I'm starting to go back to saying less and writing less. I think the cause of it was that I became more arrogant and self-centered for a while, or as I like to call it...more of a member of society. Now I'm starting to move away again.

I do that too. I think because the first attempt didn't come out the way I plan. It does get a little frustrating.

I like to think of myself as a step-by-step learner too. I have to re-read and repeat everything. If that doesn't work I'll write it out in point form and add some diagrams to help me remember.
Sometimes it's just so hard to remember that I'll just summarize it. In school I was bad at summaries. They were either too short or way too long. So now I naturally summarize everything. My teacher would give me two gold stars if she saw how good I am at it now.

Same.

I repeat things often. I'll say something and then they'll move on and keep talking. I wont be able to keep up because I'm thinking about what I just said and how oddly it came out or how it could have been interpreted not how I meant it. I speak literally but people do love to interpret what I say, makes no sense to me. I'll repeat it think, and maybe change it again in 10 minutes or so. I'll revisit topics so the other understands.

During conversations, I often repeat myself because my voice is monotone so I can't emphasize certain words using my voice.

Ya I do it at times.

I so do that and yes it can be annoying, especially if you are doing this during a movie lol.

You know what tho? sometimes it is can be constructive, there is times where I was right to explain in different ways because at some point the person realise that he/she didn't really understand the important point and because I explained in different ways they finally get it.

But yeah I get a lot of "do you think I'm stupid?" lol

I have a 7 year old who do this as well.

same here

I repeat things with more detail if the other person's response was not responsive. I can't tell why a person is answering nonsense to what I just said so I try to say it a different way to get my point across. Sometimes I have to question the person about what their misunderstanding is. Then they get annoyed because they say I'm 'picking at their words'.

this happens to me a lot.
i say "ok. but what i am asking is ___" and still get a nonsense response and get frustrated. especially customer service phone calls. i really have to avoid them whenever possible. i hate when people are cruel to people who do not speak english well, as if it's inappropriate to be in the U.S. without proper english skills .. and then i accidentally am that person, i get so angry when i have someone on the phone who does not speak english well because it's even worse. i have trouble with simple conversations - information retrieval - with people whose english is perfectly fluent, because they mistake my intent. i feel as if i am the one who does not speak english .. why can't they understand what i'm asking?? it's so confusing when this happens, because i know my own intelligence, and so it makes no sense that i've not made sense.

also i notice that i repeat whole phrases and sentences sometimes and i don't know why. i don't know if it's that i can't tell whether it was received, or i am not sure that i said it. i just have to go back and say it again. for emphasis? maybe it's that i don't know how to imbue something with emphasis without repeating it.

That happens to me all the time! I use my words very carefully and to convey exactly what I mean sometimes and at other times im way to vauge because I assume the other person will understand the details becase they are obvious to me...but its not obvious to them.

I hate it when people don't answer my question and give me a sort of 'escape' answer or bypass it completely and tell me something I dont need to know. My mom does this because shes Japanese and has maybe a 75% proficiency in English...the way I normally speak is very concise and she doesnt understand what im talking about, she gives me answers that beat around the bush or are vaguely connected to what im asking so I have to simplify it so she understands. Another thing I hate is people using expressions and words incorrectly, i.e "You're welcome" not "You welcome" the latter doesnt make sense at all if you think about it (and a lot of people dont think about what they are saying so its maddening.

I repeat things alot, even in writing. It is mostly subconscious. I am aware of the fact I do it, but not when I do it. I can definately relate to what you are saying.
With that being said, it is a semantic-pragmatic language issue. It is definately "spectrumy" as it is usually one of the flags that neuropsychs look for when diagnosing those on the spectrum.

I think the reason why I repeat myself is I cant tell if i have conveyed my message appropriately. I'll backtrack and try to restate everything. Also I honestly cant remember word for word the previous sentence I said... so i speak in circles. I have no organization to my thoughts.

also when people understand something i am explaining, i don't really pick up on their cues... I have to verbally ask them over and over again if they're following. their reaction: "YES, for the 40th time, yes."

Again same here. It is the inability to pick up nonverbals. I think this is why we can be a bit frustrating to NT is because we need verbal feedback for nearly everything. This is pretty easy in certian settings, but in other contexts it can definately be an issue. It may be coming from a lack of recognizible verification for us, for those on the spectrum it has to be clear and verbal. For most NT nonverbal verification is often enough. Nothing you are saying is that out of the ordinary for people on the spectrum.