GetYourFix wrote:
Hello there! Thank you for opening this thread; I absolutely adore intellectual discussion and would love any and all insight that you have! The little theory comes first, the odd story that lead to it comes second; I will not be offended if you don't read the story. It's long!
Thank you! <:
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Could it be people with HFA struggle with social skills in part because they are too focused on one detail and are not as good at looking at the whole picture?
I had gone through a checklist of positive, friendly behaviors, while my coworker had summed that I was romantically interested in her. I analyzed sentences one at a time and responded to each as opposed to responding to a theme presented.
I asked around and realized that the whole conversation vibe comes naturally to most people and that they often don't see all of the pieces that form the interaction.
Could this be the huge disconnect? Is the social formula too detailed to process all at once?
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After being diagnosed with HFA, I obsessed over data, case studies, how people with the same diagnosis coped... I was attempting to sate my anxiety with data, facts, and figures. I focused on the adaptability and opportunity that I had to address social skill deficits now that I knew that I had them.
50 hours of research later, I thought that I was ready to implement some soft skills. I did know an abundance of information on how conversations are meant to flow, what they require to be positive, what body language means, and unwritten social rules.
So, I dove into a conversation with a poor, unsuspecting colleague at work. Let's call her Jane. Jane was visibly stunned as we conversed about college, her boyfriend, makeup brands (paraben free? ANIMAL TESTING?!)... And, when she started to seem disinterested, we mutually ended the chat. She stuttered "thanks" and wandered away, almost shellshocked.
I gave myself a preemptive pat-on-the-back. I'd done the human conversation thing! Jane didn't ask me to change my tone, I didn't interrupt her... I chalked it up to a huge positive. I did this a few more times in the week, thrilled that the automaton "Get Your Fix!" had to worry about bad employee reviews no longer! I exuded "I care about you!" "I love this team thing!" and "Collaborating is something I'm sufficient at!"
I quietly waited for reciprocation of my gratuitous display of love for my fellow man. I pretended not to hear Jane enter the workplace next Monday and eagerly anticipated the polite chat before we got down to work. I waited a few minutes. I waited a few minutes more. Perhaps she was an incredibly slow walker today and hadn't gotten to her station yet. I attempted a subtle look around, though I'm sure it looked incredibly not subtle. I've never really had fluid, natural movement.
After hours of frustration (why wasn't she reciprocating?!) at my station, I almost ran out of the office so that I could get the most of a jog alone. Jane somehow managed to get in front of me and initiated a conversation. We exchanged niceties, and she asked, while making aggressive eye contact, "Are you a lesbian?"
I blinked twice before laughing like an idiot. Jane wasn't amused. I apologized (after wiping away a hysterical tear) and asked if I had led her on. She said that I had been very attentive and interested in her the last week. I had hung off of every word, and that it felt more romantic than friendly. I apologized again, and we did some vaguely adequate empathy exercises.
I went outside for lunch break and reflected. Well, at least I know how to appear romantically interested? That's a win, right? People want to do that sometimes, don't they?
After grumbling to myself, I still chalked it up as a victory for the automaton because I'm immature like that.
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Thank you for your consideration! I look forward to seeing what other people think.
In humanity,
Get Your Fix!
While this may be true. The majority of Autistics, Develop eventually. Rarely is it that they never at least basicly develop to the point of basic needs. Therefore this really doesn't apply to specifically HFA. I completely agree with this. Though I'd sum it up as No Matter how much research you do on social skills, You're still "socially ret*d" as they say. I don't mean to offend anyone at the use of the 'r' word, but I'm using it contextually not to offend people. It applies to all. And those who never develop speech at least now a day or are partially mute. There's AAC. Not Learning to walk really isn't a problem. There is ways to get around Developmental delays. While the Motor skill deficits often people on the spectrum have. Which I myself have, and still have despite whatever occupational therapy is supposed to do. In practice it might work, but not when your doing it. After a while you'll still be back to bad sensory issues. Rather or not it might help some.. You can get away from it. I think trying to 'Fix' your autism won't work no matter what. There is always going to be a downside. Sorry I tend to respond with 'Word walls' as there called with word walls. My lack of grammar skills are pretty evident. The way I like to see Autism as a Two way thing. You take one thing you gain another. The more severe the case they more gifted the tend to be. That is why the more Savant like skills. While most of use Possess skills Savant like. Though like Savant level tend to be on more severity. The Spectrum isn't just 1d it's not just a line, Their can be people who are less intelligent and high functioning despite what "Researchers" Might think.. Same with the inverse.
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[color=#0066cc]ever changing evolving and growing
I am pieplup i have level 3 autism and a number of severe mental illnesses. I am rarely active on here anymore.
I run a
discord for moderate-severely autistic people if anyone would like to join. You can also contact me on discord @Pieplup
04 Sep 2016, 4:38 pm
