How common is the following

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I am awkward and shy.

I don't sing dance kiss hug talk about love clap cheer.

I am feel embarrassed putting on a hat or a pair of shorts.

Terms like cool and dude make me cringe.

My vocabulary is very formal and old fashioned, I hate these simple terms people use to address each other, like bro, or mate, or dude, etc... So I can relate with you there.

I am also awkward and very shy, awkward is common among aspie's, though.

I never hug people, I can't even remember the last time did. Probably when I was a kid at my Dad's funeral. Eesh, everyone expects you to hug them at funerals. It's even worse when they're crying and put their face/cheek against yours, ugh it makes my skin crawl.

I clap all the time when excited/ over stimulated. Same with hand flapping and jumping. I rarely clap when it's appropriate, though.

Do you feel embarrassed putting on any style hat? I quite like wearing hats, especially in winter, it hides most of my face and makes avoiding people easier. Thick woollen hats are also quite comforting for me.
Shorts I might wear on a hot day to the beach, but they do make me feel kind of naked. I hate shorts that are too long or ones that are too short. I have one pair and they cover half of my knee, that's the only kind I feel comfortable in. Short shorts to me make no sense, you may as well wear underpants or boxers. Long shorts feel strange and makes me feel like I'm wearing children's trousers.

I don't dance, but I like to sing. Definitely don't talk about love very often, hah. I normally zone out when the topic of conversation turns to sex and relationships.

For an introvert with some mild social anxiety--it's totally normal. No worries. And you can wear what you like; if you don't like shorts, then don't wear 'em.

I use "cool" and "dude"--mostly correctly--but I understand your aversion to them. I've added these and other slang terms to my vocabulary over the last few years. Sometimes they can be useful if you are communicating with NTs, but many of them are tricky because of how you have to shape the context around them for them to convey the right information.

Thanks to the two of you I guess I am not a total freak.

I wear shots at the beach or going for a swim but not as casual wear.

Yes people crying at funerals makes my skin crawl also.

As regards hats I just don't like them simple any kind of hat.

I think I'm Aspie as heck, and I do love to wear shorts, especially in warm weather and/or when I'm active. They're so freeing!! (I live in Georgia, where the heat & humidity help to dictate one's apparel very effectively).

I'm especially fond of cargo shorts (they're so FUNCTIONAL), but I carry around about as much crap as my wife in my pockets as she does her purse.

I'm also pretty easy with 'dude-esque' slang, but the pot probably helps that (not advocating, but don't feel compelled to hide it, either). I'm also young-ish, I suppose. Many of my models, for good or ill, are from the 60's and 70's. I'm sure that's a factor in my speech.

However, I still relate to an overall predilection towards more-formal diction. And I absolutely adore anachronistic speech. It's just neat! Almost like it shows that you appreciate history (and the history of language)?

I, too, don't like people touching me, especially when it's unexpected. Even more so if I'm not ESPECIALLY close to the person. (My boss put his hand on my shoulder yesterday morning... I did not care for it).

Back to hats/shorts/clothes: I've taken to taking afternoon walks during my lunch break, and I wear goofy-ass sunglesses-over-my-glasses, as well as a psuedo-military style Vietnam-era-lookin' hat. I look a proper fool, but the items in question are highly functional, therefore, I don't give a sh_t. They're doing what they're supposed to do.

I'm past wearing clothes based on fashion (no interest/energy in/for it). I spent hours and hours and hours fretting over what I wore in middle and high school. I guess I no longer care what people think, at least in some special instances. (Not judging anyone for feeling self-conscious--I feel plenty self-conscious in many other instances and areas; just sharing my thoughts/feelings/experience...)

If someone wants to pre-judge me based on my exterior appearance, I'm pretty sure that there's no chance for a meaningful relationship, wouldn't you agree? It's almost the perfect limiting factor to only the purest, best of friends. Only problem is, it's too damned effective. (Smile/Cry).

I absolutely love to dance. But in front of other people? That's a whole 'nuther story. Historically, I have to be either A) Drunk, or B) in the best emotional/psychological condition of my life in order to dance (with abandon) in front of others.

Dancing, to me, if a body-wide spasm of expression. It's a sort of rhythmic abandon... a very special state; a 'whole-body' stim.

If I had my way, I'd dance all day. But them, I'm a weirdo.

Greetings and regards to all.

I'm the opposite of what you've described. I enjoy talking. I love to give and receive hugs. I have no problem with shorts and hats. I don't have a problem with the word, cool though it bugs me when someone says dude.

I'm awkward, dont sing dance kiss talk about love clap cheer, I dont like skirts, dresses, singlets, short shorts, very short sleeved shirts, 3/4 pants etc. and also struggle with using slang correctly. I dont think I have ever used the word dude. In my opinion, while the majority of people would not match your list, it would not be totally uncommon for someone to be the same or similar on those points.

I use lots of formal speech, but have integrated a small amount of slang into my verbiage with people I know well. As far as hugs and kisses go, I have no real issue with them if it is someone I am close to or someone I know well that seems to need a hug, so long as I know it's coming. Other than that though, I tend to be hands off with other people unless they broach the issue first. I am not confident enough in my ability to read situations to touch people otherwise. I do wear shorts now but didn't like to from the genesis of puberty until my mid teens. I still refuse to take my shirt off in public (or my own back yard or pool) as I really don't want to have anyone see me anywhere close to naked. Hats don't bother me per se, as I have to wear them at work. However, it is not something I would choose to wear outside of work. I don't dance and this is a good thing as I am really terrible at it. As far as shyness goes, it does take me some time to get used to people and situations. Once I am past that and learn to trust them though, I tend to be fairly open. It's easier for me to get past this now than when I was younger as the adult world tends to be far less cruel than that of grade school. Love is something I can discuss with others but not something I have really experienced outside of my family. Romantic love is something I can understand conceptually but as no one I have ever been interested in has ever felt the same way in return, it is impossible for me to be able to speak of it from first hand experience. I can, however, give decent relationship advice based upon knowing the people involved and the facts of the situation.

I will also say that I am 38 years old and have had time to learn a lot about life. It may take you a bit of time to overcome certain things that I already have but had difficulty with in the past. Plus, there is the chance that my suspicions about AS in myself are in error, in which case I may not have the same difficulties intrinsically reading situations as you do.

No singing, dancing, clapping, cheering or spazzing in general, even when engaged in or thinking about one's special interest? (whatever that might be at any given moment). While not guaranteed, I will sometimes get a little manic when engaged in my current fascination(s)/obsession(s).

I suppose I don't do these things in relations to people or to social cues, but I certainly do do them in response to things/activities. I'm sure I do them far less, though, when others are around, as I too feel self-conscious about expressing myself in general (especially in a way that I would find natural and others, conversely, odd as flip).

Good night, dudes!

Sorry: Ladies and Gentlemen, Lords & Ladies. ; )

I just can't help myself sometimes.

I get really embarrassed to sing in front of anybody. When I ask my mum what a song what I like is called, and she says, ''sing it to me, then I might know what one you mean'', I just can't do it.

Common. Gets better in time if you work on it. Expect a slow recovery.


Not uncommon. I still can't sing "happy birthday" without feeling like a weird fake, same goes for children's songs, but I do record and perform my singing......only the stuff that could be thought of as in some way artistically valid though.


Common. Me neither, though if I had some lessons and really applied myself, I'd like to put it right one day.


Not so common, maybe. Though apart from partners, I don't think it's expected particularly. I don't get much out of this French kissing lark, not like some people seem to.


Probably quite common, though personally I'm happier if I get the occasional hug.


Sounds very male. Me, I talk about love a lot.

Uncommon. I can clap no problem, but I only cheer very rarely, and then it's more of a whoop which I borrow from my singing repertoire.


Hat - well some folks aren't hat people. I can do it and enjoy the fun, but don't like it when the wind blows it off.
Shorts - common, normal. I never do, and I don't like to see men or women in them, I think they look horrible, without exception.


Common. You won't get on well with a certain sector of the population, but most of those folks probably wear their trousers halfway down their legs to show off their designer underpants and play hip-hop from car stereos at 180 decibels, so you're well shut of them.

Yep, you're pretty much normal, as far as can be judged from your rather brief self-description.

I would be willing to believe it isn't terribly uncommon within the ASD community to not be interested in talking about love, cheering, clapping or finding hugs uncomfortable. I'm the same way. It peeves me to no end when people suddenly begin cheering (for what, I have no inkling) or clap. Whenever a live track features clapping, I find it annoying and unbearable. I too hate hugs and find going to events where it's expected to give/receive hugs to be quite distressing. The problem is only compounded when people take umbrage to you avoiding hugs...

It's very common on this website that's for sure. Welcome to WP.

I am awkward. I don't think I'm shy but I have great difficulty initiating so it probably comes across like I am.


I sing and dance in private, I clap as a stim, I like big squeezy hugs from my husband and a few trusted people, I don't talk about love.


I will wear a baseball cap if my hair is having a crazy day and I can't be bothered sorting it, and I wear a woolly hat in winter. I never wear shorts, rarely wear short sleeves and my clothing has to come up to my neck - no vnecks or scoop necks.


I use cool or coolio in text messages to say I agree with something but would never say it in any circumstance. Dude makes me cringe.

Welcome, my friend. Glad you found WP.