Very Confused About My Mental State

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Almost everybody thinks they're weird, so when I worry that I'm acting strange I just shake it off by saying that I must be normal because I think I am weird. But ever since I was old enough to talk I've had social problems. When I was about 7 years old I tried making friends, but I acted extremely rude, and now that I look back I feel a bit guilty and I wonder why I failed to understand that I was being a jerk. When I was in the 4th grade, people teased me a lot, and someone referred to me as socially ret*d. There was a boy that I had a crush on then, and I acted very creepy around him, I even tried to force him to kiss me. Now I'm thirteen, and I'd like to think I understand how the social world works, but I'm still very nervous in public, and sometimes I have trouble keeping the conversation going. It's not debilitating , so I figured I can't possibly be mentally-ill. But a friend of mine once said I seem to have Asperger Syndrome. I thought that too the first time I read about it, but decided that isn't so because I'm not hypersensitive or obsessive, I don't take things literally, and also a teacher probably would've noticed it and would've called one of my parents to discuss my behavior. Another thing that made me think that she was wrong was the fact that my former therapist said that she thinks that I have good social skills. I'm a very quiet person and when I do talk to my peers they think that what I have to say is odd, but that means nothing, right?

You shouldn't assume your teachers would have noticed it - they are far from experts on autism or aspergers - mine, for example, were for the most part quite traumatizing to me, because they had no idea how to handle autism. Don't assume your teachers are infallible - incapable of making mistakes - or all-knowing. They are far from perfect.

Here is my suggestion to you, if you really want to find out whether or not you have aspergers: talk with your parents, and tell them you want to get checked out to see if you might have aspergers, and tell them why you wonder why you might have it. Then, you and them will need to get a referral or appointment or something like that with an autism or aspergers specialist, who will be able to perform tests and diagnostics to see whether you have aspergers, or something else, or nothing at all.

One thing I would suggest to you, is to read the posts on these forums, to see if you identify with some of the posts. That would probably be a good starting point, before you try to get tested. If you identify with a lot of the things we say on here, then there's probably a stronger chance you have an autism spectrum disorder.

Also, you say you do not present certain symptoms of aspergers - not all people with an autism spectrum disorder (such as autism, aspergers, PDD-NOS) have the same set of symptoms - we all pretty much have our own individual set of symptoms. You also may be presenting some symptoms and not even be aware of it, due to the nature of autism spectrum disorders. Another point is this: even with just a few symptoms you could be PDD-NOS, which stands for "pervasive developmental disorder - not otherwise specified" if I'm not mistaken, which is an autism spectrum disorder.

I have high functioning autism and have been diagnosed with autism since I was very young, so I do not remember the process of myself being diagnosed very well.

Something I want to point out, is that many people here were not diagnosed until they were much older than you - and the fact that they were undiagnosed for so long was usually a bad thing. It's better to find out sooner, than later. If you find out you have aspergers or some autism spectrum disorder, then you can get help, and even if you don't need any help, you can know why you are the way you are and you can identify with others that experience the same things. It's also more difficult to get a diagnosis as an adult - both due to insurance reasons, and the fact that adults with autism do not get much support, and it's harder to find autism specialists that often see adults.

Also, welcome to WP - you're welcome here whether you have some form of autism or not.