Why are some people so nasty?

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There's a young man in a nearby town where I do shopping and meet friends etc, and all he does all day is sit by a water fountain in the town centre on his own talking loudly to himself, with a bottle of Whisky in his hand, and just typically being what most people would define as ''sad'' (I'm sure that's what people would call me if I sat there doing that all day with no friends and no job and no life). But I don't seem to see anyone smirking at him or staring or laughing, or teenagers yelling, ''get a life!'' or something like that. People just happily walk by him as though he's just another normal presentable person like the rest.

BUT

When I walk into shops, dressed presentably, clean, polite, handing CVs around and being friendly, I get young people laughing at me as though I'm doing something wrong (even though a lot of people are doing the same thing handing CVs out to different places). It just kills me on the inside because I do conformist things and I get laughed at, and then you get lowlives what sit on their own all day drinking Whisky and yelling to himself and (although harmless) giving a bad reputation to himself and the town, (plus it's right near a primary school aswell), and yet nobody ridicules him. Sometimes when I walk past him his loud voice and funny movements catching my attention and I grin to myself, but that's someone you would kind of grin to yourself at. I just thought that people, being as judgemental as they are towards people what come across as ''not all the ticket'', would kind of react to this weirdo, not a young girl like me who has a life and does ordinary things and even has a good CV to show.

It just doesn't seem fair. It is so upsetting. Is it that people are nasty, or is it me doing something wrong all the time? I suppose the answer is ''because I look ret*d'', which I will not accept.

People are mean because they can be mean. That's life. We either "grow a thicker skin" or withdraw from the world.

I think it's all about evolution. Big animals eat smaller ones. People feel strong when they laugh at others.
This is what i've observed from the real world.
Maybe that person has something that makes people feel afraid of or don't care about it.

And let me tell you a secret: we have no free will.
That's why people are so nasty.

I'd sympathise if you were more tolerant about the harmless whisky drinker.

The majority of people that are mean to others do so because they have a need to feel superior to others - probably because in some other way, they are not superior (intelligence, appearance, possessions, etc.). What's more, most of them don't even realize they are being mean - it's a gut reaction on their part to "defend" themselves from feeling inferior.

If it becomes a pattern with someone, I just cut them out of my life. I have too many other people that are mature enough to deserve my time and attention.

You think you're better than him.

People pick on those they think it's socially acceptable to pick on. A homeless alcoholic is generally considered someone to either feel sorry for or to ignore. Few people feel any responsibility towards such a person. If they do, it's so indirect, or the situation seems so hopeless, that they see nothing they can do about it. Homeless addicts, who are chronically on the street (as opposed to the "hidden" homeless population whose homelessness is harsh but comparatively short and results from bad circumstances that they eventually are able to overcome), are seen as a perpetual stream that society either can't or won't rescue, so their presence is accepted as normal, whether it's simply tolerated or outright hated. This has little to do with whether or not it would actually be possible to do anything. I'm not debating that point here, nor am I passing judgement on such people. I'm merely explaining the view society seems to have towards them. Sometimes such individuals are victimized by others, sometimes not. When they are, most people are not aware of it, so you can't really tell. But it's not generally socially acceptable to bother them or put them down in conversation, so most people just ignore them or shake their heads when speaking of them.

It is, however unfortunately, more acceptable to make fun of someone who partially or fully functions as others do but who appears unusual in a way that can't be taken as some sort of "trend setting". Maybe it's because poking fun is only considered okay if the person isn't so far down that others may wonder if their fun poking will even be felt (though it may be, even if they think it's not). You're close enough to what people think is "normal" for them to know you understand if you're being ridiculed, but you're not seen as close enough to be just like them and, therefore, not merit notice. People who want to hurt others want to know the hurt is felt and that the hurt person knows where it came from and why. Otherwise, it has no entertainment value.

I concur with others that you might want to consider being less judgmental about the guy on the corner. You and he have something in common. Others don't understand why you are as you are and may have expectations and ideas about "what to do about you" that may not be appropriate for you. I'm in that same situation myself. I may not be sitting on a bench with a bottle in my hand all day, but I'm certainly in no position to judge someone who is. It's better to be kind - both in behavior and attitude. And I mean exactly that. I don't mean we all need to go around pitying or coddling each other. I mean we could all benefit from simply being kind.

This isn't America.

Joe, it sounds like you want to blame people and pity yourself rather than genuinely probe the subject, tbh.

You either laugh at or judge people or you don't. People who make fun of other people just because they are different in any way feel inadequate themselves, and need to feel superior to those who they are laughing at to make themselves feel better. As far as who people choose to be mean to, that depends on how threatened they are by them, or whether or not they can get something out of them. A person who is obviously in their own world looking drunk (he may or may not be, he could have had some kind of illness, we don't know) probably won't respond to the laughing so they get nothing out of it, but you may look like you would because you are more aware, so they pick you.

If people laugh at you like that with malice, it's not about you, and I agree...it's best to stay away from people like that because they will never accept you for who you are, and they are probably like that with everyone, not just you. Try to blow it off, they may be worse off than you.

I remember one day when these boys were picking on my son at a playground at a campground. He was trying to play with them and they were being mean to him, to the point I pulled my son off of the playground. He was at an age where he was just starting to notice these things. I looked at the kids and said something to the effect of "does it make you feel big and powerful to pick on a kid that can't defend himself?", and my husband looked at me and said that was probably the nicest thing that was said to them in a long time. He made a good point.

I'm saying this from the public's point of view. I don't live in London, I live in an area where people don't sleep rough on the streets, and there are places where people who are homeless can go. There are plenty of snobby type of people around where I come from, who are more than likely would look down upon rough alcoholics on the corner, And I'm not sure if this guy is homeless or not.

But I'm just saying that where I come from, people are so judgemental. Nobody has sympathy for anyone unless they know them, and if anybody's even slightly different (even if it's beyond their control), they get judged just like that. And it's not even always to do with neurology, it's to do with one's style of living. My friend had an infection in her eye about 2 weeks ago, and she said that every person that passed stared at her eye and she even had people smirking at her, and one person even said, ''urgh!'' And my other friend was born with problems with his spine, so he has a stooped gait - and he got bullied all through high school for it and even now he says people stare horribly at him. That's how judgemental people are around where I come from - any slight tiny difference and you're f****d, basically. So I just thought, generally speaking, that this guy is obviously giving off negative impressions and I thought that people being as judgemental and unempathetic as they are, would judge him, especially the snobby types.

Maybe people do laugh at him but you don't notice because you don't see them laughing at him. I understand how critical people are of each other, maybe because they're afraid of them, jealous of them, and all that. It is unnacceptable but it happens. It's part of life. People don't all stand in a crowd all day pointing and laughing at someone. They probablly walk by and think something or just ignore or chose not to look, or perhaps local people are used to him sitting there and don't take any notice any more, being that he is harmless.

And yes I know what you mean about this. You're thinking, how come people laugh at me when I'm doing normal things but people don't laugh at him when he is drawing attention to himself? Maybe people don't laugh at you. I enjoy reading your posts and I often come across you mentioning that you are hypersensitive to other people's thoughts and body language. You are just beingg paranoid. I'm a young neurotypical but if I worked in a shop and another young lady walked in and handed me a CV to me, I wouldn't find anything funny. Maybe they were just laughing at something else or maybe you just misinterpreted them.