Page 1 of 3 [ 48 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next


Do you talk a lot or say little in a social situation (or at work)?
Quiet, talk when spoken to otherwise little or no initiation of conversation 67%  67%  [ 72 ]
Try to moderate amount of talking in a social situation. 20%  20%  [ 22 ]
Talk a lot, either out of boredom or anxiety, or other reason. 13%  13%  [ 14 ]
Total votes : 108

kirayng
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,040
Location: Maine, USA

09 Jul 2012, 2:51 pm

I think this has been asked but I can't figure out how to get it to show me a past thread with this exact question...

I'm quiet at work unless I know you and trust you. That takes a really long time. So after working for a couple of months at the same job now, I'm not comfortable with enough people to just walk around and talk all day. Usually I'm talkative in a social group to have something to do because the interaction is so boring. Anyways. Not sure if that makes me a true introvert or not. I'd really prefer to not talk and work in silence with others. I can't stand making chit chat and trying to do something demanding my full attention (I'm a line cook).

For you all, in your social settings, work, school, or out with your friends, do you talk a lot or a little or in between? Do you have trouble knowing how much/little you're talking as opposed to others?

On a side note, I have learned the expression of someone bored that gets happy that you are talking to them... I just see that look and I realize that whatever I am going to say will just be received by the other person as entertainment or relief from their boredom, that I don't see the point in talking so I falter at the conversation and they leave disappointed.

Good thing I don't try to sell stuff to people. :roll:

How about you?



MightyMorphin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Apr 2012
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 570

09 Jul 2012, 3:02 pm

I am usually very quiet but when I get going on something I'm really interested in, then I can't shut up xD



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 102,098
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden where Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow

09 Jul 2012, 3:05 pm

I'm quiet around my family members, but I do a lot of talking around my friends. My friends understand me and they're more able to understand.


_________________
Mick

Kanye West 2020

viewtopic.php?f=11&t=26&start=645


corvuscorax
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 28 Apr 2012
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 266
Location: Pontiac, MI

09 Jul 2012, 3:10 pm

I require some form of background noise at all times, so if I'm not listening to music, I'm talking to myself.

In a conversation I tend to be very aggressive and have the conversation one-sided - usually I initiate a conversation over something that happened to me, or something I enjoy. I typically find it difficult to stop talking unless people actually make a forward effort to tell me I've talked enough. It's one of my worst faults, that's for sure. The only time I get quiet is if I turn mute by getting frustrated or upset.

My conversations tend to be less one sided with my closest friends.


_________________
IQ:134
AspieQuiz Score: 159
AQ: 43
"Don't be That One Aspie..."


Fiz
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jan 2006
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,821
Location: Manchester, United Kingdom

09 Jul 2012, 3:20 pm

It depends on what mood I am in. Some days I don't really want to talk whereas other days you can't shut me up. However, I don't often initiate conversation and rely on others around me to do this when I am feeling particularly talkative, so then I can simply include myself in the current conversation.


_________________
The only person in the world that can truly make you happy is yourself.


Rebel_Nowe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2011
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 610
Location: All Eternals Deck

09 Jul 2012, 3:25 pm

I'm terrible at maintaining conversation with anyone I don't like quite a bit and know quite well. I'm a very concise, practical speaker. I don't even make long posts online often. I find that, if a post I have written is long, it tends to be poorly written and rarely gets my point across effectively.


_________________
"Listen deeper to the music before you put it in a box" - Tyler the Creator - Sandwitches


roccoslife
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jul 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 386
Location: Essex, UK

09 Jul 2012, 3:29 pm

Im very quiet, and have been all my life, apart from when im drunk.


_________________
ADHD and mild ASD
30 AQ
Your Aspie score: 82 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 107 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits


Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 18,215
Location: Maidstone, UK

09 Jul 2012, 3:42 pm

I am so quiet it worries me and I keep wondering and worrying of what this would mean in life. I have been at my voluntary job for nearly a year now and have only managed to have full-blown conversations with a few of the people there. They are all nice people, the ones I haven't really had a proper conversation with (yet) are nice, but because I'm too worryingly shy, I probably make them feel awkward, whilst others probably don't care so much and just try to get me to talk regardless.

I'm not at all a chatty person. I could chat away to one person who I know a lot, but otherwise I wouldn't consider myself a chatty person. This is why I wouldn't fancy working at a till in a small shop. You've got to be quite chatty really, it's no good standing there quietly like a mouse. I know some quiet people get on OK working in small shops, but I don't think I would. Even if I did force myself to chat more, it still doesn't feel natural to me because I'm destined to be a quiet person, so people could still pick up on it, and knowing that makes me feel even more afraid to speak up.

I am quite good with getting along with colleagues in the workplace, even if I do feel shy with some and unsure of what to say to them. I still feel more comfortable talking to colleagues than I do with the public. I remember when I worked at my other voluntary job (the one where they used to leave me alone on the till a lot), and when I got a lot of customers in at once I suddenly had panic attacks inside and just wanted to shy away, but knew I couldn't just do that, so I had to just carry on, enduring severe palpitations and sweating, whilst putting on this sociable, happy expression on the outside. I don't know why but talking to the public is That Scary, even with plenty of experience and practice (well, it is for me).


_________________
Female
Aged 30
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with AS, ADHD and anxiety disorder


Sora
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,906
Location: Europe

09 Jul 2012, 4:14 pm

I'd describe myself as talkative because I enjoy the back-and-forth of conversing with people, I am totally in for a discussion in which I do the major part of talking, I love (job) interviews and even presentations that consist of me telling others of something and I often find myself having something to say when I struggle to or plain can't.

Between these options, I am most like "Quiet, talk when spoken to otherwise little or no initiation of conversation" however.

My difficulties to speak, to deliver my thoughts in adult-like spoken words/sentences and to initiate and respond to simple short conversations spontaneously lead to that a lot of people who do not know me well suspect that I am most like the quiet type of person.

ASD professional say/wrote that I begin to moderate my excessive monologuing (very AS-ish supposedly) but well...

this comes from people who got to know me when for the first time I had figured out how well I can talk (and how to make sure that I can talk in complete sentences and all), so I am sure that it is only natural that after 18 years of lots of silence and saying very little, I had a lot to ask about other people and why they do the things they do (and if my understanding of them is good or not).

Everybody else is used to me saying very little or if talking, doing so in a limited but hyperactive manner (asking countless questions, repeating what others have said, overstepping social boundaries with silly/semi-serious comments others don't dare to voice without support, bubbling about something we've seen just at that moment or that someone else brought up) so I suspect that "professional" opinion is complete rubbish.


_________________
Autism + ADHD
______
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. Terry Pratchett


Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 18,215
Location: Maidstone, UK

09 Jul 2012, 4:19 pm

I've heard one of the bus-drivers that drives my bus is actually on the Autism spectrum - but she is the most chattiest person I have ever seen (well, slight exaggeration there, but she is a very chatty person). But, I suppose she does make a lot of social faux pas, but what matters more is how much you care. I care too much about making social faux pas, which is one of the reasons why I keep quiet.


_________________
Female
Aged 30
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with AS, ADHD and anxiety disorder


Atomsk
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Apr 2008
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,423

09 Jul 2012, 4:22 pm

I'm quiet except around people I'm familiar enough with. Even among a group of people I'm very familiar with, one new person among them usually makes me quiet. I also rarely initiate conversation.



ruveyn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2008
Age: 84
Gender: Male
Posts: 31,502
Location: New Jersey

09 Jul 2012, 4:23 pm

When I was younger I was a blabber-mouth. Now I talk on occasion.



jetbuilder
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,170

09 Jul 2012, 4:24 pm

Atomsk wrote:
I'm quiet except around people I'm familiar enough with. Even among a group of people I'm very familiar with, one new person among them usually makes me quiet. I also rarely initiate conversation.


You just described me exactly!


_________________
Standing on the fringes of life... offers a unique perspective. But there comes a time to see what it looks like from the dance floor.
---- Stephen Chbosky
ASD Diagnosis on 7-17-14
My Tumblr: http://jetbuilder.tumblr.com/


Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 18,215
Location: Maidstone, UK

09 Jul 2012, 4:31 pm

When I was a child, I used to be quite loud when with my brother's friends. Now when I'm with my brother's friend (and most of them are still the same ones) I don't hardly say a word.


_________________
Female
Aged 30
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with AS, ADHD and anxiety disorder


FishStickNick
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Apr 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,284
Location: Right here, silly!

09 Jul 2012, 4:35 pm

I'm generally pretty quiet--I don't really say much unless I have something I want to talk about. In most ordinary social interaction, others have to engage me in conversation. I tend to be more talkative around people I know well.



Atomsk
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Apr 2008
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,423

09 Jul 2012, 4:37 pm

jetbuilder wrote:
Atomsk wrote:
I'm quiet except around people I'm familiar enough with. Even among a group of people I'm very familiar with, one new person among them usually makes me quiet. I also rarely initiate conversation.


You just described me exactly!


I just raised my glass of coffee in toast to you. Hahaha.

On a more serious note though, my silence is even worse if said new person among a group of people I'm familiar with decides they want to notice my silence, and they say things like "you're really quiet" or "you don't talk much" or things like that. When people say these things to me, it usually makes me even more silent, and often I cannot even make myself speak to answer them, because them saying those things to me makes the situation much worse.