How do you deal with a family member that has autism

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lilpony79
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25 Jul 2012, 10:08 am

I can't deal with my sister who has autusm. She is very annoying. She doesn't know how to act socially. It's embarrassing when we go out. She's my older sister but she acts like she's 8 years old and she's 18!! ! She goes to public school and gets made fun of for how she acts but she never stops acting that way even though she knows it's weird. And don't tell me oh but she's just being herself and it's other people who should be embarrassed and feel bad for looking at her weird. there is a certain way to behave in public and you have to learn that when you're past a certain age. :roll: I'm only 10 years old and I would never do some of the stuff she does in public.
Also, she does stuff just for attention! She thinks she's going to be a major rock star or actress when she grows up so she does stuff on PURPOSE and even though she is told to stop and says shes sorry she will still do it in a few minutes. like laughing at something she's seen over and over and over again.
She's 18 and doesn't even want to learn how to drive! Whenever she does chore around the house she always does a lazy job even though I have to show her how to do it right she doesn't CARE! So i KNOW she will never be able to keep a job because she can't even SWEEP right! And yes she is high functioning.
Why won't she learn to stop behaving in a way that is making her the outcast she cries about being. Autistic people are NOT smart. Some people think that they are but if they really were they would learn from their mistakes. That is the whole point of being intelligent.



CockneyRebel
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25 Jul 2012, 10:38 am

Accept her as she is. Acceptance is the best cure. Autism Speaks does not speak for me.


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jonny23
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25 Jul 2012, 10:48 am

It's hard because we don't get to pick out family like we do our friends. If her only faults are embarrassing you and having a lazy side that sounds like every teenager I've ever known.

Also, you might think about how it might be hard for her. Being socially awkward and being made fun of aren't fun. If it's hard for you it might be worse for her.

It's easy to understand why a quadriplegic can't walk, it's harder to understand the disabilities of someone with autism/AS



lilpony79
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25 Jul 2012, 11:09 am

But she is told all the time not to do the things she does and she doesn't listen! and she thinks everyone at school is her friend but no one ever wants to come over and she never gets asked to go out with anyone and no one ever calls her or texts her. She wonders why people don't want to hang out with her or why no one calls her but she doesn't ever try to change. I think when you get older you should get better. Not refuse to change and then wonder why nothing is changing around you and why you're geting the same responses from people..



modelmaker
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25 Jul 2012, 11:11 am

She's your sister , you should either support her or at least tollerate her & stop your moaning, ... its not her fault she's the way she is ! !

You should consider yourself fortunate that YOU dont have to endure the taunts from other people that she may have to endure, just because of her inadequecies.


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jonny23
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25 Jul 2012, 11:15 am

It took me 33 years to understand how myself and other people work on a basic level. It's much harder for people with autism. It's the social cues your talking about that we don't see. It's easier for you to see them so you don't understand why your sister doesn't but that's exactly the reason she has difficulty interacting with people.



lilpony79
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25 Jul 2012, 11:15 am

Doesn't mater if its her fault... she knows how shes acting is weird and she COULD change it but she doesnt. if blowing bubbles while you chewed gum made EVERYONE irritated and annoyed wouldnt u stop doing it? or would you keep doing it and be inconsidorate of other people? it's not like she has invulontery movement or something that she cant help, she can STOP acting the way she does.



lilpony79
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25 Jul 2012, 11:17 am

but our mom tells her to stop doing things that are something a 5 year old would do and she says sorry so she knows what shes doing is wrong. i think shes ret*d



Wandering_Stranger
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25 Jul 2012, 11:18 am

lilpony79 wrote:
She's 18 and doesn't even want to learn how to drive!


What's the problem with that? :? Not everyone wants to drive. And some people with Autism aren't allowed to drive either.



OddDuckNash99
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25 Jul 2012, 11:19 am

lilpony79 wrote:
IShe's 18 and doesn't even want to learn how to drive!

I'm almost 25 and can't drive. That's why there's public transportation. Be thankful that your sister realizes her deficits behind the wheel, rather than potentially getting in many car accidents due to her lack of executive functions.


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jonny23
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25 Jul 2012, 11:23 am

If I was standing around and someone said "Stop doing that" I would say I was sorry. Doesn't mean I understand what was going on.

lilpony79 wrote:
if blowing bubbles while you chewed gum made EVERYONE irritated and annoyed wouldnt u stop doing it? or would you keep doing it and be inconsidorate of other people? it's not like she has invulontery movement or something that she cant help, she can STOP acting the way she does.


I do that alll the time. I whistle and shake my legs and tap my fingers all the time. I try to stop but I often don't know I'm going it until someone asks me to stop. It drives my friends and family bonkers. Trait like these are common in people with autism.



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25 Jul 2012, 11:25 am

lilpony79 wrote:
Doesn't mater if its her fault... she knows how shes acting is weird and she COULD change it but she doesnt. if blowing bubbles while you chewed gum made EVERYONE irritated and annoyed wouldnt u stop doing it? or would you keep doing it and be inconsidorate of other people? it's not like she has invulontery movement or something that she cant help, she can STOP acting the way she does.


All I'll say on this is that you're pretty lucky I'm not you're older brother (with referance to your selfish attitude).

Maybe as you're only 10, you're too young & immature to understand "tollerance" of someome of a less mental awareness than yourself.


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TallyMan
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25 Jul 2012, 11:26 am

lilpony79 has been banned from the forums for her offensive remarks aimed at autistic people in general. Some of her posts in other threads have been removed.