The worst thing a bully has done to you

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Guppy
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02 Aug 2012, 9:16 pm

auntblabby wrote:
Guppy wrote:
Nothing, other than social isolation.

Bullying doesn't work on people with fists.

i wish i had your superhero power.


I'd happily exchange it for, say, invisibility.



hansky
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02 Aug 2012, 9:19 pm

I was physically bullied only in kindergarten and first grade. After that it was occasional insults and not being treated as an equal. The bullying experience I'm going to share wasn't the most traumatizing at the time, but now I realize it was the worst I was ever treated. My kindergarten teacher probably thought I didn't like her, so she bullied me. She would call my mother for the littlest things I did, like drawing for Jewish stars (they were easier to draw than 5-point stars), and she would let the other kids bully me, too. I would get up and go to the bathroom without asking because I was too scared to talk. She made a rule that you had to raise your hand to go to the bathroom, but when I raised my hand and she called on me, I couldn't say anything. I was forced to pee in my pants multiple times. There are a lot of other things she did, but that was the worst.



compiledkernel
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02 Aug 2012, 9:25 pm

As a young child in a schoolyard in Primary at the age of 6.

Because I told a girl that I liked her, and two younger boys did not like this fact, I got beaten mercilessly.

I took a broken nose. Two cracked ribs, a discloc shoulder.

Numerous cuts and lacerations ( I was pushed down a hill embankment that had a thicket of holly bushes, through which I slid through).

Atop the social otracization that occured after the fact because all I could do is stand there and bleed and not fight back, which in my youth was a common behaviour.


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birdiethehuman
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25 Dec 2012, 1:21 am

I was bullied mercilessly from preschool all the way up until the seventh grade. I've had my things stolen, destroyed, or thrown on the roof, been chased down in full view of teachers to be kicked and screamed at, tripped, shoved down steps, and even verbally attacked by the entire classroom at once while the teacher failed at mediating. The worst I think, was when I was invited to the house of a girl from middle school to hang out. She put up with me for the most part; her best friend, Abby, was very nice and tried to include me. On this particular occasion, Abby was ill, so I was there with Denise and another girl I didn't know (Imani). Denise introduced us then, in the first ten minutes I managed to prove myself too weird to be left alone and she began calling me names. I was feeling braver than I did at school, so I retaliated by insulting her intelligence. She spent more than a half hour chasing me through Denise's house and I ended up cowering in Denise's closet while Imani stood and hissed abuse at me, while hitting me with a belt. It was probably only a few minutes until Denise managed to get her to stop, but it was the most terrified and humiliated I ever felt in my entire life.


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windtreeman
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25 Dec 2012, 1:38 am

Some of you guys and gals have been through so much worse things than me, I barely feel qualified to post, but here goes anyway; in Kindergarten, one single kid bullied me everyday. It was mostly verbal abuse, threatening to beat me up after school, threatening to beat me up at recess, tripping and kicking me and occasionally hitting me. One day at recess, he just walked right up to me and punched me in the stomach. That sucked, ha. He was still a bully through about second grade but it wasn't nearly as bad. In third, fourth and fifth grades, people who'd been friends at some point, would suddenly develop into bullies who'd push my buttons, pinching me or whatever it was that gave them their kicks. By sixth grade, I'd mostly gotten through the worst and had figured out who to align myself with to avoid confrontation. I usually used my artistic ability to neutralize potential bullies by helping with their school-related art. There were plenty other random people that pushed me to the edge and in ninth grade, I actually lost it for once, when a 'friend' who'd been doing the 'does that hurt' crap for MONTHS, despite me asking him to knock it off, did it one last time. Anyway, most of my bullying was mental and fear-related but the toll was still incredible and I spent hours agonizing over having to confront these people.


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wtfid2
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25 Dec 2012, 1:50 am

abyssquick wrote:
At boy scout camp, around the age of 13 or so. I was just beginning to get more comfortable socially, getting some confidence and composure.

While I was away from campsite for a class, two kids a year younger than me covered my sleeping materials and clothing in human excrement, which they fished from the latrine. Smeared it all over everything.

Another kid in my troop took pity on the situation, and made room in his camp area for me. He was really a kind person, actually, by nature. I like to think we'd have been better friends had I not been so disoriented by what the bullies had done.

[b]The world is a strange place - I learned that the kind individual died of brain cancer in 2010 only 25 years old. ... Those who did the bullying are still around.
smh.


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MrStewart
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25 Dec 2012, 2:03 am

This is the first thing that immediately jumped to my mind as the most hurtful. To anyone else it probably would not have been. I realize it is a trivial thing. When I was in sixth grade I went skiing with my older siblings. I liked skiing and was especially enamoured with the chairlift ticket I had affixed to my jacket zipper. My older siblings liked to keep those tickets on their coats and only remove them at the end of the season when there was a large stack. I liked that idea and wanted to do the same. Well, one day at school one of my "friends" noticed that I was proud of my chairlift ticket and made a point of grabbing hold and ripping it off. I was crushed. I am still mad about it just writing this. That was eighteen years ago.

Fortunately, while I am cognitively impaired to a certain degree, I have no physical impairments. I am tall and I am strong. That has always been the case. Because of that, physical bullying was never an issue. ...except once, now that I think of it. Junior high. There was a girl who sat in the desk behind me in math class. She thought it was fun to jab me in the back with her pencil, hard, over and over throughout the class. I yelled at her to stop it. It was I, and not she, who drew the ire of the instructor from the exchange. I had no idea how to deal with the situation. There is a rule that is drilled into the mind of every boy. You do not ever physically attack females. Never. So i didn't know what to do. If she had been I boy I would have just punched her in the nose. :?



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25 Dec 2012, 6:28 am

My heart aches after reading these posts. When someone describes children as "innocent", I think, "Ha! You were never bullied at school, were you?" It's beyond me how kids with so little life experience can manage to be so cruel, but they can be. Who knows where they get it from. (From a purely academic point of view, it's a fascinating topic. Much less fascinating when you're on the receiving end.) I am furious with the teachers who stood by and watched, or even actively participated.

I also experienced bullying at school - a place that should have been safe, nurturing and conducive to learning was a living hell because of it - and have only started to recover in the last few years. For that and other reasons, I feel like my life only really started when I finished school. Having Asperger's, people already made me anxious. Bullies made me scared of them. Along with a few other major life events, bullying reduced my social and self-confidence to nothing. Now that I am living in a town that feels like home and have had a few successes - yes, even social successes, as minor as they are - I finally feel like I'm on the way up.

The worst bullying I ever experienced was in year five, when nearly every single boy in that year group banded together to make my life a misery. To this day, I am bewildered as to why. I can make guesses. I was quiet and gentle. I was naturally bright and naturally terrible at sport - a provocative combination. Due to Asperger's, I suppose some of my behaviour was a little odd. But really, I have no idea. They called me nice things like "AIDS girl" and made a great show of refusing to touch me or come anywhere near me. The most fortunate thing about the form of ostracism they chose was that it never became physical, except for when one boy threw shards of glass at my legs while I was playing with friends.

I told my parents, of course, but I don't think they ever realised how serious it was. They gave me the usual useless advice to ignore the bullies, which I tried to do. It probably won't come as a surprise to anyone here that it didn't work. Eventually, I wrote a letter to the principal, who I remember was a decent man, and a few students were called into his office throughout the day. After that, the pack bullying stopped.

Although I never experienced concerted bullying like that again, I continued to be picked on throughout school, enough that I dreaded going. I'm certain I was experiencing depression by year 10, which only inflamed one of my tormentors. Even after I completed school, I was continually rejected by others. Naturally, I began to believe there was something wrong with me. My Asperger's went undiagnosed until well into adulthood; in fact, it was only last year that I finally found out, and the piece I'd been missing slotted into place.

I have come a long way. I write this story about the bullies with no particular emotion now. I confess that it wouldn't be beyond me to feel a little satisfied if I ever hear that they are unsuccessful or are leading dull lives, although I'd still never wish true misfortune on them. Frankly, though, I'm not all that interested. My life is my life; not theirs. I'm quite happy with the way mine is going and that's all that matters to me.



Kairi96
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25 Dec 2012, 6:28 am

The worst thing a bully did to me was punching me in the shoulder, but it wasn't that bad because I hit him back in the shoulder with an heavy branch. And that's not something very bad, since very worse things happened to a lot of bullied people. But, after that, no one has ever tried to hit me again, and people began to be scared from me. I prefear solving problems with fists and kicks rather than feeling depressed and crying for them.


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reneeirena
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25 Dec 2012, 6:33 am

Mostly verbal stuff, even from teachers. Having a chair thrown at me was probably the worst. Being pushed off my chair everyday by the guy behind me comes in second place.



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25 Dec 2012, 9:26 am

A bully in my workplace tried to get me leave the job
She would call me up and yell at me
And at times push the chair over me in office
But far worse then that was my parents and bro
who used to hit me badly and call me all sorts of names


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LisaOfShades
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25 Dec 2012, 9:36 am

NatureLover wrote:
I know people say that the past has to be forgotten so you can move on, but this doesn't go with me. I've been easily bullied and never understood why until now that I realize that I have acted unusual without even knowing it. I've been called names like "weird" "rare" "nerd" and "ret*d" and I now realize that it could be Aspergers. I remember in fourth grade all the kids picked on me, even the teacher. I remember all the girls taking me to the girl's room to make fun of me. I still was bullied in high school, but only verbally.

Tell me what's the worst a bully has done to you? Do those memories still haunt you, or is it just me?


Sexual abuse... the cops told my mother that I lied to get attention so she turned her back on me and I tried to commit suicide... in elementary school... obviously you don't get over that kind of "fertilizer" as you try to bloom and either wilt or evolve with thorns.

At work, being made to work more than 100h/week until I could barely walk to go to the bathroom (worked at home) and told after more than 2 months "we'll give you 800$ or nothing" well, they got nothing and I had to investigate for 7 years to find about adrenal fatigue and the truth behind anxiety and depression... it's not in the head people! It,s above the kidneys! The school told me that no one would ever want to hire me, I was at the top of my class... and a psy told me to be polite with sexual aggressors and never hit them... (kill them if you have to, the law allow this self defense... b***h) and a psy told me that no one would want me even in therapy.

I recently came across, on a assert yourself site, "People will milk your need for approval"

Yup, if you become nicer when bullied, they will use you as a punching bag even more... defend yourself, just a defiant stare is often enough. defend. Especially if you deserve to be kicked... even more if you don't.

*pats your back*



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25 Dec 2012, 5:43 pm

I don't think it's healthy to re-live episodes of bullying as when you think about negative things you start to feel negative and down as a result, so it's not a very constructive thing to do.

CBT teaches that feelings are directly linked to thoughts.



Palakol
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25 Dec 2012, 6:38 pm

She told she loves me.


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25 Dec 2012, 7:14 pm

Physically: Being pushed down the stairs, or having my bag and everything in it trashed.

Verbally: Telling me I don't deserve to live and urging me to kill myself.

I agree with everything in the above posts about the verbal bullying being worse than the physical.



Jediyoda
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25 Dec 2012, 7:27 pm

The worst thing a bully did to me was in Grade 10. A boy in my Maths class who I have known very well since Grade one turned around and pulled a knife on me and threatened to rape me with his friend sitting beside him, my Maths teacher walked off to answer a phone call and this is when they did this. Everyone was yelling and banging on their tables saying rape her, rape her, rape her and my two friends were beaten up so they could not help me. The guy who threatened to rape me was expelled and the guy who helped him was suspended from school and told to apoligise to me and my family and the school for his behaviour. Another time is 3 years ago when I was beaten up on a regular basis by my ex-friends boyfriend I was forced to go out with them whether I liked it or not he used to kick down my door drag me by my hair down the driveway and throw me in the back of the car there I had to watch as he got my other friends who were sitting in the back seat with me to do his dirty work for him and get back at people because they just didn't like him. If I didn't go because I was sick and they knew I was sick they would drive their cars up my driveway and do spinouts in my yard and down the driveway, throw eggs, rocks, marbles, ballbearings, flour bombs at my windows, roof, and yell out abuse all because I was sick sometime he would just kick down my front door and drag me out whether I was sick or not and this went on for over 3 years before the court, police and my parents stopped him from beating me up and destroying my property and threatening to kill me, We my ex-friend and I have now got a Domestic Violence Order on him and he cannot come near me or her now. The impact it has on me now is, I now suffer Post Traumatic Sydrome and bad anxiety.