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NatureLover
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31 Jul 2012, 2:15 am

I do lack empathy in a lot of situations and I find it hard to understand what other people are feeling or going through. I know how to say things but not actually "feel." I only have empathy when I can truly relate to someone that's been in the same shoes as me, like bullying for example.

I don't understand what's so "exciting" or beautiful about being pregnant.
I don't get what's so fun about texting your friends non-stop.
I couldn't understand the pain of my friend when her boyfriend broke up with her.

Situations similar to the ones above make it hard for me to relate to people. In what situations do you lack empathy?


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IdahoRose
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31 Jul 2012, 2:45 am

Work/job-related issues and people's desire to have children are the two things I have the most difficulty relating to.



vanhalenkurtz
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31 Jul 2012, 3:59 am

Sex is boring, love is vexing. People who drink &/or watch TV are stalled.

I prefer to listen to New Order to most people's chit-chat.

I'm a hard sell.


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crookedfingers
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31 Jul 2012, 4:08 am

People who complain that they haven't had sex in a while,
I also seem to lack empathy for celebrities, I have no interest in knowing anything about them as they have no part in my life. A person should be famous for something they are talented at, not their personal lives.
I don't have the same reaction to people having babies as other people around me, they make me smile when I watch their reactions to the world, but I don't feel like cooing over them or playing with them or anything.
I struggle to understand children, even when I was a child myself.
I don't understand how a designer label is 'better' than other clothes, they are usually made in the same factories to the same standards.
I also don't understand peoples love of fitted carpets (bizarre things that seem to contradict the ethos of those obsessive over cleanliness, yet these are the people who seem to love them most???)
When people worry about signs of aging, or blemishes, or not wearing makeup.
When people are ashamed about old scars and things from old injuries.



Joe90
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31 Jul 2012, 4:53 am

Quote:
I do lack empathy in a lot of situations and I find it hard to understand what other people are feeling or going through. I know how to say things but not actually "feel." I only have empathy when I can truly relate to someone that's been in the same shoes as me, like bullying for example.


This is what throws me. People seem to think it's only Aspies who find it hard to understand what other people are feeling or are going through but know how to relate to those who have been in similar situations. Well NTs are the same - they don't know how an Autistic person is thinking or feeling because they've never been in our shoes. So don't worry, it is normal to be like you are. It is a common human trait to only be able to think and feel for those who have been in the same shoes.


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Surfman
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31 Jul 2012, 5:43 am

just about everything NT

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Wandering_Stranger
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31 Jul 2012, 7:56 am

Everything mentioned in this thread.



CyborgUprising
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31 Jul 2012, 9:21 am

1) People's desire to bear/raise children
2) People's dating troubles
3) People whose boyfriend/girlfriend cheated on them/wants to hang out with friends instead of eachother
4) People complaining about how hard it is to be a student athlete. They chose to be one, now they need to deal with it (I can't see how hard it is that they get away with doing little to no assignments and still magically pass courses (at least at our school). If they want to see hard, they need to find a way to "turn" autistic (I mean severely autistic too!).>>end petit rant<<
5) People talking about sex.



RedHouse
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31 Jul 2012, 9:44 am

my female colleges talking about their children, their children's interests/problems and so on.
people bragging about someone they know, something a friend of theirs have done.
people/colleges spreading gossip.
and general smalltalk about redecorating the house, garden stuff, relatives and so on. keeping it short as i guess most people here get the picture.



WerewolfPoet
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31 Jul 2012, 10:18 am

I never understood why people refuse to have any positive relations with a person after the end of a romantic relationship. Why, exactly, can't exes be friends? Surely, being incompatible in a romantic relationship does not necessitate being incompatible in a platonic relationship.
I also struggle to understand why a person who is "weird" is immediately considered unpleasant. My NT friends quite often refuse to extend their friendship to a person because they are "weird." (Although their are apparently different "types" of weird, for they claim that I am the "good type" of weird) Do they not realize that everyone is considered "weird" in comparison to everyone else?



2wheels4ever
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31 Jul 2012, 10:35 am

Waiting in line to part with money
Long drawn out repetive prayers
The notion of always having to be in school for something
The idea of keeping up with the Joneses
Having a bigger/more ostentatious vehicle than practical
Jumping onto the latest trend
Sports team fanaticism
People who act like they're the first ones ever to be married or pregnant
People who go to amusement parks one week and the food bank the next
Being judged for not buying in to all that

I do not grok


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Nonperson
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31 Jul 2012, 10:38 am

I don't understand the pleasure people get out of gossip.
I don't understand most cases of envy/jealousy, for instance:
-Being bitter about someone else's success
-Being upset that one's partner merely looks at other women/men
-Trying to stab people in the back because they are attractive/talented/hard working etc.
(at most, I may feel self-conscious around a more attractive, more successful person, but I feel no animosity).
I don't understand the enjoyment people get out of TV or interest in celebrities.
I don't understand the tendency to value superficial harmony above the sharing of knowledge.
I don't understand any pleasure people take in hot weather, sunshine, sugary foods, bright colors or large parties.
I don't understand why anyone wants to be friends with someone who's shown him/herself to be dishonest and vicious (a popular bully).
I don't understand the fear of solitude so many people seem to have.
I don't understand how the things commonly considered boring are boring.



NatureLover
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31 Jul 2012, 11:38 am

IdahoRose wrote:
Work/job-related issues and people's desire to have children are the two things I have the most difficulty relating to.


Yeah, I don't understand the "great" desire to have children, that's why I'm not having any kids and plus I can barely stand my little sister.



Morningstar
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31 Jul 2012, 11:43 am

NatureLover wrote:
I do lack empathy in a lot of situations and I find it hard to understand what other people are feeling or going through. I know how to say things but not actually "feel." I only have empathy when I can truly relate to someone that's been in the same shoes as me, like bullying for example.


I'm the same way. I can only relate to people who have gone through similar experiences as me, or who share interests with me. In that case I will get REALLY EXCITED or feel empathy very strongly.

There are a lot of things already mentioned that I don't understand or can't relate to, but I think it has to do with my personality? Maybe? I notice a lot of NT teenagers over the internet who don't understand why some people find pleasure in partying, drinking, and sex. I'm sure there are some NT's who wouldn't understand my fascination with certain things, too.



jetbuilder
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31 Jul 2012, 11:45 am

-Sports. I never "got it" when I saw people yell, scream and cheer when their team scores.
-People who say they wouldn't go out with someone unless they're "hot"
-I may be stereotyping, but it seems like most guys are obsessed with women's breasts. I don't get it :?
-Constantly wanting sex. or people complaining that they haven't had it in a long time :roll:
-People who think they know you or what you want better than you do.


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PixelPony
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31 Jul 2012, 11:48 am

Almost all of this thread, but in particular:

-Babies and pregnancy
-Celeb gossip
-Sports fanaticism
-Religion
-Sex drive (it's fun, I guess, but don't people think about anything else?)
-Why "weird" is "bad"


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