If your reality was destroyed, how would you cope?

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legomyego
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01 Aug 2012, 10:36 pm

I am wondering how people deal with change as they become adults.
As a child into adulthood i lived in one house my entire life and had the same frieds for most my life.
I have moved, my friends have changed, just as everything around me has changed.
I've always had a pretty narrow perspective however much of my perspetive has been destroyed due to these changes in my life. I feel as if I once had a sort of reality that was my own and while i could not undersand others I atleast had mine. However due to the massive changes in my life I am now at a loss for words everything seems strange and incomprehensable. For instance simply leaving my home used to be very easy i would go right left or down the ally next to my house. Nothing of my new house is similar to my old house except for my computer,so i spend a lot of time on my computer but that leaves me recluse. I would like to get out of the house but it's very difficult for me given how different everything. My friends and family have all changed in their life and what they are doing making them seem strange.

I believe most of these changes must be dealt with as one becomes an adult but how do you do so?

For those who haven't moved very often....how do you deal with moving?
For those who are now adults....what advice do you have for coping with the changes around you both in surroundings and those who they call friends or just their family?



CuriousKitten
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01 Aug 2012, 10:46 pm

I'm currently job hunting and am finding very few opportunities within commuting distance -- landing a job will likely mean moving away from familiar territory. One thing I"m doing is use the Internet to scope out the areas around each "nibble". I look for apartments and mobile home parks that would work, and use Google Maps to check on what kind of commutes I'll likely have, and basically scope out the area. I also keep reminding myself of all the things I dislike about this area, and the potential positives of the new areas.


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Sweetleaf
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01 Aug 2012, 10:50 pm

My reality sucks...so I don't think I would mourn its loss, not that I expect whatever replaced it would be much better but hey at least it would be different.


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CockneyRebel
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01 Aug 2012, 11:38 pm

There was this one time that my reality was destroyed as a result of my own doing. I had an online friendship that started out nicely but became very sour towards the end. The other person was the one to end the friendship and he did so in a very harsh and angry way. I became harsh and angry myself and my candy coloured Mod world came falling down. I spiked my hair for shock value out of bitter anger and cynicism. That phase didn't last too long, thank goodness. I don't like cynicism. It's a very negative emotion.


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Robdemanc
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02 Aug 2012, 3:16 am

I think it is the prospect of change that is most daunting for me. When the change happens I usually just get on with it.



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02 Aug 2012, 3:58 am

I would most likely have a horrible meltdown possibly get to the level of suicide or become an alcoholic or eventually tough it out and try to come up with a back up plan!!


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peterd
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02 Aug 2012, 7:16 am

Someone diagnosed me as aspie, and my world was shattered.



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02 Aug 2012, 7:20 am

Regress into a 7 year old. Oh wait, that does sometimes happen.

I have to deal with a new challenge everyday it seems and I'm always unprepared for it.
usually I just want to be comfortable in my familiar environment.
Failing that I take my meds and get a huge motivation/ confidence boost.

I'm not sure how to answer this question yet. I'm still having difficulty overcoming the issue of dealing with change.
It's always going to be a problem and I just got to face it.


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Tuttle
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02 Aug 2012, 8:33 am

Moving? The entire month that I'm supposed to be packing is meltdowns instead.

Leaving college? I'm not sure if I'm in a burnout. I know I'm not as functional as I used to be.

Suggestions for coping skills? Don't underestimate good therapy. If you have moderate to severe sensory issues, when the changes are occurring, if your insurance will cover it, try getting occupational therapy for your senses. Its stuff you'll need to do at home, but keeping one thing regulated will help a lot. If you can find a psychotherapist who specializes in ASDs, they are good too. Also kitties and puppies.



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02 Aug 2012, 9:07 am

I find some small routine to latch onto and build on it slowly (for instance, a nearby store or park I'll walk to by the same route each day, repeat an activity I understand, notice a person I recognize - just some little thing I understand to begin building a new mental map around). I'll try to carry over as much of my old routine as possible and translate it to the new environment, but I also look for things in the new environment that are pleasant and soothing.
But I've moved many, many times and finding things to help me adjust is nearly automatic.



DrPenguin
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02 Aug 2012, 9:33 am

Nonperson wrote:
I find some small routine to latch onto and build on it slowly (for instance, a nearby store or park I'll walk to by the same route each day, repeat an activity I understand, notice a person I recognize - just some little thing I understand to begin building a new mental map around). I'll try to carry over as much of my old routine as possible and translate it to the new environment, but I also look for things in the new environment that are pleasant and soothing.
But I've moved many, many times and finding things to help me adjust is nearly automatic.


That's how I've coped as well, sometimes the little things can help. Just setting up familiar things within my rooms (plus making sure I've got the internet set up asap after moving if not before). The one thing I've done is find an outdoor place with tree's where I can be alone.



legomyego
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02 Aug 2012, 11:46 am

Tuttle wrote:
Moving? The entire month that I'm supposed to be packing is meltdowns instead.

Leaving college? I'm not sure if I'm in a burnout. I know I'm not as functional as I used to be.

Suggestions for coping skills? Don't underestimate good therapy. If you have moderate to severe sensory issues, when the changes are occurring, if your insurance will cover it, try getting occupational therapy for your senses. Its stuff you'll need to do at home, but keeping one thing regulated will help a lot. If you can find a psychotherapist who specializes in ASDs, they are good too. Also kitties and puppies.


I have been trying antidepressants with little success, and clonazepam with some success (though i try not to take it as it can be addicitve and cause brain damage)

Since the anti-depressants have not worked i opted to try therapy. The lady seemed nice enough she had me make a list about my moods 5 being words and 1 being best, and how to recognize that. Then I was supposed to come up with steps to change my mood but without realizing it a lot or most of the things I wrote down I am most of the time not able to do. Last session i had with her I told her this and was becoming frustrated with the process and how this would better my situation and improve my communication. (One of the big goals in my reason for therapy) She then said communication is merely a means to get somebody to do something, and that my goal should be to communicate only to get something out of it. Basically wanting me to become a master manipulator and then she asked me if I communicate to get what I want, in return I said that is not why I communicate. Needless to say I did not seek her advice anymore and am not sure if I should go back to therapy with a different person.....i do not seek to be a master manipulator...seems sociopathic to me. What type of therapy do you mean tuttle? Supposedly the person I was seeing saw other people on the spectrum, and we did get along for the first couple visits but the third I just found very unnerving because of her take on communication. I will look up occupational therapy to see what it means...oO i am a student with no real occupation so I am unsure if that would be applicable.



Tuttle
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02 Aug 2012, 12:49 pm

The therapist I see is a counselor/CBT. She specializes in autism spectrum disorders. She doesn't function like that at all. She has had me do some amount of the rating 1-5, but that's been specifically in terms of meltdowns, and how bad specific meltdowns are, and what can people do for meltdowns, and what can i do when the meltdowns are coming, and how do I recognize when a meltdown is coming and such. I've managed to reduce the number of meltdowns I'm having and I can sometimes warn my boyfriend and tell him to either try to prevent it or get out because I might start screaming at him. I was proud of myself the first time I managed that even though I only had about a minute's notice.

Occupational Therapy is doctors who help people become able to do day to day tasks - they often focus on things like using hands properly after an injury or surgery, but when it comes to ASDs, one of the thing that is available sometimes is sensory integration work. This can help a lot for people who sensory challenges are a larger part of their autism. A lot of insurance companies only have certain number of OT appointments per year that they'll cover, but its still worth looking into.



daydreamer84
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02 Aug 2012, 8:11 pm

I suck......I just haven't coped ....I'm 27 and still live at home and lead pretty much a child's life. I have my B.A. but I didn't leave college.........I'm returning as a non-degree student and studying Linguistics , so I can one day do an M.A. in Ling. This is partly because I want a Master's in that discipline.....but also partly because I hate change and don't want to leave uni.