My friend is annoying!

Post Reply New Topic

Hi everyone,

He is supposed to be a friend, but times without number he mocks my introverted nature. It is annoying. He keeps referring to me as a hermit, a caveman etc., since I don't go out and socialize. I don't mind being introverted but this constant commentary makes me sick.

What am I to do? Even when I get angry or express my displeasure, he just doenst take a hint.

Thanks for reading,
Music

Get another friend, Earth has over 7,000,000,000 potential friends for you.

Or buy a puppy.

and train it to bite him when he's rude.

This person doesn't sound like a friend to me.

How unpleasant.

I think that sometimes people do things like this to establish a social pecking order. I would show a little "hermit pride" to get him to leave me alone. Say something like, "I'm a hermit because I can't seem to find any better company," or something along those lines.

Doesn't sound like much of a friend, though.

You need to weigh up what you are getting from this friend. If he persistently does this then he's not much of a friend. Have you actually told him it bothers you, he could be a bit thick-skinned and not realise that you don't take it as a joke. Before dropping him, I'd tell him first, to give him a chance. Then, if he still does it, don't keep him as a friend. He may genuinely not realise and think he's bantering. If you're on the spectrum, does he know? Have you explained the type of thing that you don't take as humour or take literally and the effect it has on you? If you have any other friends it will be easier to drop this one, if not, then it's a bit tricky as he may be your only current source of socialising and getting out. You don't really give enough information.

Drop him like a bad habit. A real friend would never mock you like that.

Thanks for all the replies. I live in India, here people don't value privacy as they do in the west.

As to this friend, whenever I tell him I don't like to be called hermit or whatever, he just says, 'hey but that's what you are. You hardly go out, so why can't I call you a hermit?'

Point is, he justifies it by saying there's nothing wrong with it. It is frustrating, and I am too gentle to get rid of people.

Evidently this "friend" is not a friend after all. If someone makes impolite remarks about another person and is described by that other person as "annoying," how is that a friend?

He used to be good for many years, at least 5 years. This behavior has started only in the last year or so. Probably because he feels good belittling me. Or something like that.

I like this guy

He's trying to help, I have a close friend that does the same. He's trying to encourage you to go out and be social by gentle mocking (He cares enough to try and make you happy (social=happy in his mind) and is using a method that would work on him (yes its odd but does work on some people). Would say he just lacks empathy and understanding but does care about you. I'd try rational argument like explain that your not an extrovert like him but will try to get out more (will make him happy, even if you don't do it) and that you understand why he's doing it but mocking wont help.

I'm with the Penguin.

I think you are all assuming the worst of the friend. Maybe he is really a good friend and you are all telling the OP to get rid of him (OP say he has been good for 4 years!! !) Friends are important and they arent perfect and its entirely possible he is just being an arse/gettign stuff wrong, not deliberately trying to hurt.

Perhaps he is just being dumb and thick-skinned. OP is that possible? you know him.

Dont dump him before giving him a proper chance to understand, a full explanation and communication, FFS its all anyone on here would want, some help to understand whats not working?

Thx, unfortunately a lot of what they say can either be insulting or friendly dependent on inflection and body language. Used to be woke up by 'Oi Stig of the dump (caveman in books) get you'r smelly a**e out of bed and over to the pub'. Rough translation please get up mate were over the pub and want to spend time with you.

i have a friend that said similar things for a period, it literally took a sit down with a s erious face for him t realize that i didnt find it funny, at all or in any way.
i tried telling him several times but i think he thought of that as a way to reply to the joke.

Think it helped when I accepted that it was a flaw for that personality type and that was him being him and his way of showing close friendship in the only way he knew. Treated me like a little brother rather than a friend sometimes.

I understand what you snd penguin are saying, but this guy isn't sociable either. He stays home all the time, he is as much a loner as I am. That's why it annoys the hell out of me - he is in the same position, and yet has the nerve to mock me.

But I will try to explain it to him and see how it goes.