I feel like I don't know anything

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I feel I don't know anything. If somebody is talking to me about something they want to do in their garden, I can't think of the least bit of advice to help them out or show that I'm interested. Most other people say something like, ''you could go to [name of nearest garden centre], they do XY and Z for good price there'', or, ''why don't you get XY or Z to put along there, and that would look nice....'' or, ''hmm, XY doesn't last long in colder weather conditions, but Z is really good, and you could pick them up for only £XX.XX....'' I can't seem to offer people these sorts of suggestions, not just about gardens but for anything. I would of thought being an Aspie (who is more detail-orientated) would be more good at knowing these sorts of things.

Also I feel I'm no good at naming different things. Obviously I can name all the colours, safari animals, months of the year, et cetera. But I have trouble with naming things like different breeds of dogs, different names of flowers/plants, and all of that sort of thing. I even get stuck on things what I'm interested in, like I can play the keyboard but still get confused with background rhythms and can't name each out loud when I hear them in other records. Other people seem to just know these things, which is probably another good way to start, continue and finish conversations.

Does anyone else feel like you don't know much about stuff? Does it baffle you that you're Aspie so you're supposed to be clever, yet you don't know names of different things? I've actually heard some Aspies are ''know-it-alls'', but I know I'm the opposite to that! Anyone else relate?

I can't name breeds of dogs and types of plant. I can advise people about what medication would work for X or what symptoms match Y condition (I am a Pharmacology student and Pharmacology is my obsession), but I am crap at suggesting garden ideas. I am Aspie too, but I think we are know-it-alls in our own special interest (or any subject that is related - I am also knowledgeable about clinical medicine as well as Pharmacology and they're related) and not in everything.

I learn the names of things that are related to a special interest, but I tend to forget them when my special interests change. I used to be very interested in flower gardening and knew the names of all the popular garden plants, but now I'm interested in permaculture and know more rare ones. I've forgotten the plants I knew before. It's like they were overwritten.
It seems like most people know a little bit about a lot of subjects, but when I've learned about a subject and moved on, I forget everything except the general idea behind it, the "big picture", so in a conversation I'm not likely to have anything specific to say about most topics either (not to mention that around here most people talk about TV a lot, and I don't watch any at all).

Ok. Solution Time!

You say you feel like you don't know anything. Do me a favor, go ahead and list everything you do know about. What is your special interest if any? What do you like to do? Type it out. Go for 5 minutes without stopping, just keep typing everything you do know about.

Then look at that list. I guarantee you that a ton of people know a lot less than you do about certain areas. Who cares if you don't know about gardening or dog breeds? I don't know anything about cars besides they have a motor, wheels, a steering wheel, and basic brand names such as ford. And I don't care. Why? Because I have NO REASON to know things about cars. Thats what mechanics are for!

Alternatively, you could go learn about the things you say you don't know about.

I feel that way when I'm with very mainstream people, as I don't know a thing about TV programs, raising 2.5 kids in the suburbs, etc. I guess asking questions can't hurt as a way to show interest, but in any case the gap between us is too wide for it to make any difference in the potential of the relationship.

Not everyone can know everything, it depends on interest, opportunity, snd many factors.

Joe90, I feel the same sometimes, but even with stuff I do know a lot about. I have a nice garden and won a national competition (best garden among the houses built by my house builder, in the whole of Scotland). I know a lot about plants, their names, what does well where, how big they grow, how long they last, paving, decking, compost, etc. You'd think I'd be good at advising someone on what to do with their's. Not so. My best friend opened her patio blinds and pointed to her garden. She said, 'You know a lot about gardens. What would you suggest?' Her garden is more or less a blank canvas, with a small plant area in one corner. I was completely stumped, not a clue. Months later, I still can't think what to do with it. I'm sure she now thinks I got a professional in to do mine.

Mummy_of_Peanut, is that due to AS?

By the way, shady garden paths is my new special interest.

I really don't know. I've no diagnosis at all, tick all the boxes for inattentive ADHD, with a few AS traits too. I've no imagination, or so it seems. I managed to design my own garden, with my husband's input. Perhaps our garden consists of mostly his ideas and I don't deserve any credit (except for the manual labour and my knowledge from the botany I studied in 2nd year at uni). My daughter (the one in the family most likely to get a diagnosis of an ASD) is the exact opposite, in that respect. I'm supposed to be an amateur artist, but at the moment, I'm on-line looking for ideas, yet again.

In my experience NT's walk around not knowing things a lot (whether they realise it or not is another matter) but they are usually very good at hiding it. Usually aesthetic comments are best as there subjective, something like that arrangement looks fantastic (pick a pretty one at random) but could do with a little more structure in the center (or anywhere really), not sure what plants would fit in this soil though (there green (probably) with leaves (possible). Totally arbitrary but means nothing.

shady paths are good, remind me of deciduous woodland. Love laying under a tree by a stream, watching the sun shine through the forest canopy into the mist and onto the stream.

Yes, dark forests, shady parks and gardens!

A lot of people struggle with saying "You know, I have no idea!" in response to a "Do you know about/where to get/how to do X?" so people talk a lot of BS about stuff they don't necessarily know about just to fill in the gaps. I'm not saying that everyone is doing that but a LOT of people are. This is why I usually check things on the internet rather than asking a friend

A lot of times I have a picture in my mind but cant find the words

If it doesn't go into depth beyond what you wrote, then that is small talk. Coming up spontaneously (no forewarning, no long time granted to figure out an answer) with light (not deep, no great number of details), short to medium length (not long and boring) responses (no monologues, no focussed-on-self comments) to a topic of everyday matters that do not pertain to an area of intense interest. And your example is about talking someone else even - their interests, thoughts, experiences, ideas, what they like and dislike - talking about yourself can be far easier.

So, it does make sense that despite being good with details and stuff for the most part, autistic people struggle with it. Most of the time, those exchanges are small talk even if they go on for over twenty minutes (the number of people participating in the conversation plays an influential role in the length of the "small" talk). Not surprising. It helps me with small talk to pay attention to the short exchanges of others as much as possible to learn what to say if I have to do small talk myself.

Well I find I'm always doubted, even if something is right. I remember once at my last volunteer job, I saw a Lonsdale bag in one of the donation bags, and somebody said, ''oh, you can sell that for £6'', and I was like, ''£6? That's quite a lot for a bag at a charity shop'', and she said, ''not for Lonsdale - that is a very good make, and expensive stuff, originally.'' So I done what I was told. Then a couple of weeks later I found a Lonsdale rain-jacket in a donation bag and it looked really expensive, and I was with two other women and I said, ''I will put this out now'', and I went to put a reasonable price on it but then one of them said, ''no, just put £1.95 on it,'' and I was like, ''but it's a Lonsdale jacket, I thought Lonsdale was worth a lot'', and they both agreed to eachother that Lonsdale was a cheap make and wasn't worth much. That confused me, and also upset me because I thought I actually knew something. Either these two women didn't know that Lonsdale was an expensive make and didn't seem to know they were wrong, or suddenly Lonsdale changed to a cheap make suddenly. Every time I ever brought Lonsdale things, they've always been typically expensive and well made.

Joe, I soooo know what you're talking about!! ! Always doubting myself, adopting another's viewpoint convinced I'm wrong, then someone else coming along just to confirm I was right from the start. When I turned 35 I made a conscious decision to stop doubting myself and keep MY opinion until I have proof that I'm wrong, if I am.