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Pokelover14
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14 Aug 2012, 12:59 am

I am very bad with body language. I know about 8 different emotions and can point out 3...most of the time. Happy, Sad, Angry. I can almost always point it out in guys but with girls it is completely different. Girls cry when they are happy and act happy when angry golfing but and act angry when happy. WHY!! !! !! I have enough trouble keeping track of fast changing emotions if I know them but with girls do you have to guess. On sit-coms Like everybody Loves Raymond Debra says that Ray can go when he gets home she is mad he went... I thought it was a tv joke but after starting dating I KNOW THAT WOMEN ARE NUTCASES!! !! !! !! Is there an easy way to figure out emotions.


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CrystalStars
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14 Aug 2012, 1:03 am

Other than to practice and recognize different emotions, no. It's not a very helpful answer, I know, but it's the only idea that springs to mind.


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chris5000
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14 Aug 2012, 1:03 am

girls confuse me the most, their emotions change for no apparent reason and they always try to play mind games.



kalor
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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14 Aug 2012, 1:09 am

All NT guys stand firmly with you :D



Callista
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14 Aug 2012, 2:01 am

Yeah, women are nutty. I can say that despite my own XX chromosomes; whenever I interact with NT women, they make less sense to me than NT men (though only marginally less, in the case of jock-type men). Men seem more straightforward to me. But nerdy NT women make sense to me just like nerdy NT men do, so it's not like all of them are that cryptic. I think maybe women tend to be more socially elaborate; or at least, some women are, or at least they're culturally encouraged toward social complexity. Wherever the difference comes from, I often find men easier to read--but not all men are easier to communicate with, and not all women are harder to communicate with. Quite a few of my best friends have been female; about half, in fact.

It is much easier to just communicate in words. Ask her what she's feeling; don't assume. If she's a good enough friend, then tell her you suck at reading faces and you're going to have to ask her straight out what she's feeling so you'll understand. If a girl takes that the wrong way, then she's probably too picky and touchy to be a decent friend (or more-than-a-friend) to begin with.

It might help to try just "not noticing" that they are female. I don't mean pretend they're guys; I mean, just treat them like people-in-general, instead of freaking yourself out by always remembering that they're female. Yes, men and women are different (culturally more so than biologically), but the differences between individual people are much greater than the average difference between male and female. You have to get to know them as individuals. Maybe that takes you longer than most people, but so what? Some things in life will always be tough to do. That doesn't mean they aren't worth it.


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NextDoorLunatic
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14 Aug 2012, 2:26 am

Try to get information from the context... what they are saying, how others are acting around them, Like, being particularly nonchalant can be a sign of feeling unusually bad. I had no idea, until somebody else started to ask questions that didn't fit my picture of the situation. So looking at what others react like can help.



vanhalenkurtz
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14 Aug 2012, 2:55 am

Impasse

There's a difference
between
doubt & uncertainty.
Some days I know it,
other times
I'm guessing.

Literality
is rarely
in the language
we exchange.
Double meanings
don't intervene.

What is the message
to hear
for purpose
between the grammar
& punctuation —
"I didn't mean it."

I'm never so wrong
as when I'm
most confident.
Was that another
blunder
I heard uttered?

I found you
hanging on
an incorrect world
where yes is down
& red means go.
Then you said "no."

I'll admit
no idea
what rationalizes
misdirection.
I got disquiet
right.

We said the backwards
inside
opposite of our truth.
Now we share
rigmarole
for sure.


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ASQ: 45. RAADS-R: 229.
BAP: 132 aloof, 132 rigid, 104 pragmatic.
Aspie score: 173 / 200; NT score: 33 / 200.
EQ: 6.