Two major issues for me....ASPie or not?

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I have a real problem with two things that I haven't seen mentioned in any of the threads, so I fear it might just be me.

Complaining -- for some reason I complain ALL the time. Nothing is ever right or good enough for me. I find fault in everything. My mother calls me a "habitual b*tcher". I hate that I do it, but can't seem to stop. Why can't I just accept something for what it is and enjoy it?

Punctuality -- I'm always running behind, always late. I'm mostly late for work and family get-togethers. It just could be that I'm late for the things I don't want to do.

I bet you're looking for a slam dunk or someone who fits both categories but for me it's mainly the former: if I'm around people I feel completely comfortable with, and those who accept my personality and all of its nuances, I have absolutely zero patience for any imperfection at all, whether it's slightly burnt food, plants someone forgot to water or a theater that has too many children running around. I feel you though; I don't act like this out of hatred or to irritate others, it's almost like a uncontrollable tic and I feel terrible about it. As far as punctuality; I'm the opposite...I show up half an hour early to appointments all the time, haha. Disclaimer though; I'm not diagnosed, despite strong suspicion, so take what I say with a grain of salt.

You demand that everything/everyone you deal with in life be perfect. This is impossible. Nothing and no one is perfect, including you, and you need to grasp that fact, and learn to live with it or you will alienate everyone you encounter in life. You've probably done a lot of that already.

On the other hand, you don't insist on perfection in your own behavior, preferring to procrastinate in dealing with things/ events that you want to avoid. If you don't like your job, get one more appealing to you, preferably before your current employer fires you for constant lateness. As for attending family get togethers, if you really don't want to go, then don't go, and don't tell them you will attend if you don't want to be there. Just tell them the truth. You are not a social butterfly, but more of a solitary type of person.

I do both of these things too. I have learned to not complain as much as I used to since I have learned to see it in terms of how it might be perceived. I used to think no one paid attention to what I said and that they would get where I was coming from (theory of mind issue). Once I was confronted with how different reality was from my perception enough times, I learned to keep my mouth shut more often.

As for procrastination, this is a common aspie trait under the aegis of "executive dysfunction". Aspies tend to either be very punctual all of the time or always late, and rarely a mix of the two.

I complain about everything, but often just for the sake of verbalizing thoughts. I usually really don't care all that much about most things.

I am almost ALWAYS late, because there are always things that I lose or forget to do before I leave. I am also a bad judge of how long something is going to take me to do. Sometimes though, I am way too early for appointments. This usually happens when I have not been to a place before and I want to get familiar and feel relaxed first.

I don't usually complain much, because I don't expect much from people. Moreover, those who relentlessly complain come across as either spoiled or having some great sense of entitlement, and I detest that attitude greatly, so I'd never want to behave that way.

However, I'm habitually late.

im like the exact opposite of you. I avoid complaining because most of time it gets you nowhere and im almost always early.

I'm a perfectionist as well. Around people I'm not familiar with I usually refrain from verbally complaining, but it always irritates me when something isn't just right. I have the opposite problem with punctuality, however. Worrying about being late, I end up getting everywhere an hour too early.

i know a lot of people who complain all the time, and a lot of people who always late... so It's hardly a symptom.