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Joe90
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17 Nov 2012, 1:27 pm

I don't mean remembering names or faces so much, I mean like remembering what people are doing. For example, if someone said they hurt their leg, then you see them again the next day and you don't ask how their leg is because you've forgotten that they've said they hurt their leg, then when they mention their leg, you're like, ''oh yes, how is it by the way?'' Then you feel a bit awkward.

I know everybody can forget things like that to a degree, and I don't forget everything personal people say to me, but sometimes I do, and it can become annoying. But often when I say to someone about something personal, they usually remember, and ask me the next day about it. This is what I call ''social memory''.

Does anyone here lack this sometimes? Does it make you feel awkward because they might think you're not interested by not asking about what they bothered to tell you about the last time they were with you, when really you don't forget on purpose? I felt rotton a few weeks ago when I met my friend after her job interview and I got off the bus ranting about something straight away, and she suddenly changed the subject and said, ''er....my interview went all right.'' God, did I feel mean for not asking her first of all!


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PTSmorrow
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17 Nov 2012, 1:46 pm

If anyone tells me something about their animals I can remember every detail, but not other things, for stuff about people I have take notes, otherwise I don't remember it.



SpiritBlooms
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17 Nov 2012, 4:46 pm

Yes, I lack this sometimes. So does everyone else I've ever encountered. It's definitely not only an Aspie thing! In fact it maybe be worse in NTs, experienced from my perspective.



Mego
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17 Nov 2012, 4:55 pm

One-on-one I remember what people say to me, but I am super forgetful when it comes to plans. In a group setting I remember nothing about people.



chiastic_slide
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17 Nov 2012, 4:57 pm

Yes, I think so. At work I notice this a lot, other people asking each over questions about each others partners and children and some prior issue they are having, good or bad, I listen but the next time I see the person I would not think to ask. Admittedly most of the time I am not that bothered to know in the first place, but sometimes I just completely forget to think about things that may be occuring to other people. Does that mean I am not empathetic or am too self-absorbed? I don't know if others actively work at remembering such details or whether being socially intuned means the information appears more relevant and less likely to be forgotten.