Am I the Lone Aspie Who Enjoys Being Alone?

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I am an Aspie who scores quite high in the Empathy department. I don't even want to mention the score! This is the result of compensation.. it didn't come to me naturally. It's just that when I feel the need or desire to learn something, the learning is fueled by obsession and I get very, very good at whatever it is that interests me. I will admit, there have been times when it's very distracting and annoying and scary to "identify with the feelings of others".

Despite this high EQ, the only time I can recall feeling lonely was at around the age of five (reasons unknown) and then again, decades later when I desperately needed someone kind and sane to talk to after one of the strangest and most toxic relationships of my life had nearly taken my life. The man who did the deed made "being alone" a form of punishment.. and for about a year, I'd feel a bit left out every time I'd see happy couples walking hand-in-hand on the beach. Which was strange, really. He didn't like the ocean and I've always loved it. I can recall only one time we spent time walking on the beach together and this man made what would otherwise have been a great time into one of the most miserable weekends in my life.

I was not in love with this man. In fact, I'd never met anyone quite so abusive and narcissistic and emotionally cold.

This "loneliness thing" hadn't bothered me since I was a little girl and gradually, over the course of a year, ceased to bother me again.

I not only enjoy being alone.. I seem to require hours and sometimes days alone in order to be able to feel at ease with other people in the world. I've read a lot of posts here from Aspies who seem to feel a lot of loneliness. For me, time alone allows me recharge and build up strength and energy to cope with the stresses of human interaction. I'm wondering if being rather high in Empathy might actually make being around humans more exhausting.

I'm already on WrongPlanet.net.. now I'm wondering if I'm from another Galaxy. Are there others out there like me who actually GROOVE on spending lots time alone?

You are not alone! I also love being alone!

Alone, alone, alone, yay! Doing my own thing, yay! In my own world, yay!

I spend as much time as possible alone.
People drain me, and irritate me after a while.
I've canceled going to parties so I can stay locked up in my room with the latest book I've been reading.
Nothing beats solitude.

You're not alone in that there are others who enjoy being alone as much as you do

On the prevent loneliness thread I questioned how it felt to feel lonely as I honestly couldn't say if I ever felt it. I was told if I had felt it, I would know. So, I can say I have never felt lonely, and I love it when I have time truly alone (difficult with a husband and a job!,). My substantial alone time usually comes when my husband is away... I'll take time of work and enjoy the solitude. I work a three day week so on my days off during the week I also enjoy alone time (not so much at the weekends as my husband is home). So you are not the only one.

I really identify with the image of being alone to recharge batteries. Unlike my OH, I enjoy (need?) a certain amount of human interraction. However, as I've become more self-aware (including discovering I am Aspie!) I've learned to identify the strange sensation I get in my head as I 'over-people', when I can feel the last dregs of my resources gurgling away like the last bit of water going down the plug-hole of the bath!

I loooove being alone...I rarely get to though, but I am my highest functioning after a week by myself. However I have a need for animal compaionship.

I am also very very empathic, so you may be on to something.


Introvert’s Shangri-La
copyright JoAnne Bemis 2011

Little discreet gems wash upon the shore of my knowledge
pulling me into them seeking
the forgotten mines of solitude. Looking at one, I fade into myself as I was fading into a childhood memory.
Laundering all the impurities of other’s
energy-selves dissipating from me like a lifting fog
splashes of liquid peace flood into every sliver of my being. I am vibrant
with nourishment under kaleidoscope waterfalls surging me with atmospheric
tranquility.
Exploring the lost-time sculpted dream pillars
and caves of possibilities . . . echoing my quest through myself,
splash-dancing in the channels of the forgotten art of being alone,
I find the inner ancient child throned in jade on the shore of my knowledge,
opening her clear, cupped hands,
a little discreet gem, an island surrounded by
by peacewater.
I drink until I see through the eyes of calm.

Introvert. Loner. I love people, but I want to keep them at a distance and deal with them in small doses.

I am an introvert and a loner. I spend most of my time alone. I do not recall that I have ever felt "lonely." There have been times when I wanted a particular person's company, but that's not the same thing, I think.

i'd rather be a hermit.

I spend as much time as possible alone & enjoy it.

I have a need for solitude, like other people have a need for company. If I don't get enough solitude time, I become cranky very quickly. Frustratingly for me, I don't think my partner is that great at recognising the signs of when I've reached my limits of tolerance and really can't take another minute of company or conversation. Even though I love him to bits, last night he kept on talking late into the evening when I was going to bed and just wanted a bit of peace and quiet before bedtime, and wouldn't stop when I said I was tired and could we have this conversation some other time. In the end, I snapped, "I want that door shut and you on the other side of it!" He said that was a nasty thing to say, and perhaps it was, but I'd reached that point and he'd gone on talking past all my polite requests.

I don't get any solitude during the day at work, and I find precious little uninterrupted time to read, research and follow my special interest.

Punishment for me would be "crowded confinement". Oh, wait. I face that every day as it is.

I love being alone.
My sole source of offline socialisation is going to Italy for a couple of weeks soon, and I'm ready to throw a party (if a one-person party can be had) to celebrate my alone time, and she's one of the people who I actually like.
I do get lonely, but it's very, very rare, and normally when I think I'm lonely it's just a case of missing someone.

I absolutely love solitude!

Yes, I love to be alone. I'm single with an son w/ AS but he does not drain me. He likes to live in his head too.

I wonder if those who express loneliness are feeling inadequate because society puts so much emphasis on socializing. Maybe they're not comfortable in their own skin yet.

I had wondered for years why I had such difficulty in beginning and maintaining relationship, particularly romantic ones. When I found Wrong Planet and started reading, I realized it was because I simply didn't know how and never learned it intuitively like most people. Still, I had yearned for a relationship while at the same time rejecting anyone who approached me in a panic of feeling like I was going to lose myself. Often I would have long crushes without taking into account what an actual relationship entails. Many on the spectrum do have relationships that are happy and healthy but I don't think that will happen for me and I have come to terms with that. My need to be alone in my head is deep.

I love being alone. I could almost go for one full week with being alone as long as I get to socialize one or two times per week I'm good. Also I like to have friends in this world because there are times when you need a support system.