If you are Aspie, do you accept yourself as you are?

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If you are Aspie, do you accept yourself as you are?
Yes. I know my mind, my soul, and my worth. It's just that being different can be stressful. 76%  76%  [ 60 ]
No, I wish I were more like everyone else so I wouldn't have to deal with the stresses of AS. 24%  24%  [ 19 ]
Total votes : 79

StuckWithin
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21 Aug 2012, 12:34 pm

To answer my own question: Absolutely yes.

I am self aware; I understand my limitations, even though I can't overcome them and sometimes they cause me a lot of stress I wish I didn't have to endure. I would like to be easily liked; I would like it if my innocence didn't make me an easy target for the "wolves" among people. I would like to not have to feel the sting that naivety brings with it.

But ... fundamentally, I am at peace inside myself. On the inside, things are serene, well ordered, logical, and philosophical. I handle it well - even if I must do so alone.


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paxfilosoof
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21 Aug 2012, 12:39 pm

I think a very good thing for autistic people is nonduality, and other views of Einstein.
If you don't feel you're seperated everything is as it is. Your hair grow, your thought come automatically, etc.
You don't need to stress about things you can' handle, just say this to yourself: "I can't control the universe, the universe control me".

I feel equally stress than months ago, the only thing changed is this: I'm not a person, I'm part of something bigger, and I can't control life, life control me. The emotions you feel, you just need to feel and they'll dissapear. Our societies are telling us that being happy is a better emotions than feeling sad, but in reality, both emotions can't really make you suffer when you understand nonduality, we are not the "i".



Last edited by paxfilosoof on 21 Aug 2012, 12:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Joe90
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21 Aug 2012, 12:41 pm

I am very self-aware but I have not accepted myself....yet (if there's ever going to come a time where I will someday).

I am not stupid enough to believe that being NT is easier and all live a smooth, stress-free life just because their brains are wired the NT way, but there are just a few little things why I find it hard to accept myself the way I am:-

-I hate not having all my social cues from instinct (OK, I know I'm lucky to have SOME natural social skills, but still...)
-I hate being unable to control my emotions and have temper tantrums (I know I can go on meds but I still wish I wasn't like this to begin with)
-I hate having obsessive interests that will cause devastation if something unfortunate happens to it beyond my control (ie, my favourite bus-service being unexpectedly took over by sh***y First Group)
-I hate having obsessive thoughts and peeves that are unpredictable to the norm, and a slightly different way of thinking to others in some ways, causing unnecessary problems in situations because of overthinking too much instead of just enjoying the things the way they are and what I've got

I wish I wasn't like this, and I can't happily accept it.


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Last edited by Joe90 on 21 Aug 2012, 12:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

StuckWithin
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21 Aug 2012, 12:42 pm

Speaking of Einstein, I particularly like this quote:

Quote:
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.

Maybe not everyone is a genius per se, but the point is that minds differ in their strengths - and as far as I'm concerned, it's the strengths of the Aspie mind that our culture has a long way to go to recognize and value.


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lostgirl1986
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21 Aug 2012, 12:44 pm

I still don't think I do completely but I think that I'm now starting to accept myself for who I am more than ever before. I still have a way to go but I'm getting there.



Ann2011
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21 Aug 2012, 12:51 pm

I'm struggling to accept myself with my limitations. Before I was diagnosed I used to think that one day I would find the trick to being normal, now I realize I'm not going to. I don't get as angry with myself as I used to, so I think I'm making progress.



StuckWithin
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21 Aug 2012, 12:56 pm

I think that seeing yourself reflected in the AS identity can be a liberating thing. You know that you're not socially avoidant or awkward because you have a "bad attitude" (as ignorant people are likely to accuse of you being - I know, cause it's happened to me).

Indeed, where it can be sad and painful is knowing that you were cast in this mold, and it's who you are. And often, we fail to emphasize the considerable strengths that our condition brings, and dwell on the weaknesses. Not that it's not understandable; some of us really do want to learn how to have more meaningful human contact in our lives, but our wiring makes it much harder than ordinary people can ever really understand.


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Ann2011
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21 Aug 2012, 1:02 pm

I agree, there is a certain amount of liberation that comes with understanding why I am the way I am. And to know that it's not a character fault.



outofplace
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21 Aug 2012, 3:45 pm

I'm self-diagnosed and yes, I have come to a point where I can accept myself for who I am. I also know that my personality does change and evolve over time to meet the needs of my life and to work better with others around me. However, it is probably more work for me than others to do this. In the end, I'll always be odd for a number of reasons but then again, I don't really care about being normal.


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thomas81
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21 Aug 2012, 3:49 pm

I am not just acceptant; I am proud of my neurotype. I hate it when people infer it as some sort of disease or infliction. In some ways it is the reverse.



GreenShadow
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21 Aug 2012, 4:40 pm

Give me other option in poll: I accept myself just because I can't change anything in my AS, and self-acceptation is better than non-acceptation


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Colinn
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21 Aug 2012, 5:36 pm

Yes I am happy with who I am. I know I may think differently from most people in general, and I'll always make social blunders. But I'm aware of that and I am OK with it. With this I know potential friendships and anything else will be limited, but that just makes me appreciate those in my life more. The aspects to my way of thinking are only negative if I let them be.



analyser23
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21 Aug 2012, 7:33 pm

I am accepting in who I am. I have gone through ups and downs since discovering about my AS, but mainly ups. The downs are simply the fact that if I DID want to change aspects of myself, it is not possible.
However, since accepting I have AS, and accepting it is not all so bad, I have learnt how to work with my own traits much better! The aspects I have issues with, for example sensory sensitivities, instead of beating myself up for not being able to handle these things like others, I now just accept it and work with it. Definitely reduces a lot of stress!
And in some ways, being socially different to others can be a good thing as much as it can be a bad thing. I find that the people out there who do like me, like me BECAUSE of my quirks! They may only be able to handle me in small doses, but sometimes I feel as though being different can actually be perceived as a good thing by others. It just depends on who you are talking with!
I am very Self aware also, I have spent over a decade trying to figure myself and others out - "people" are my special interest.
I do find being having AS stressful, but there are many aspects I enjoy also.

I really like this:

StuckWithin wrote:
Speaking of Einstein, I particularly like this quote:

Quote:
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.

Maybe not everyone is a genius per se, but the point is that minds differ in their strengths - and as far as I'm concerned, it's the strengths of the Aspie mind that our culture has a long way to go to recognize and value.



CockneyRebel
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21 Aug 2012, 7:53 pm

I'm at peace with my AS and I accept myself just as I am. I see my traits as quirks that are to be celebrated, rather than symptoms that need to be cured. I'm at peace with my AS, because I know that I can be a part of mainstream society and still be myself. Liking the bands that I like such as The Kinks, The Beatles and The Who actually means that I fit into *gasp* mainstream society and it feels natural to me, because I'm also being myself. I like to celebrate everything about my AS right down to the foreign sounding speech patterns. I was born to third generation Canadian parents and I honestly speak with a Cockney accent. I'd be just as proud to celebrate if I sounded Texan.

I also like the fact that I can be by myself for hours and even days, because I crave solitude from time to time. I'm able to be my own best friend and that makes it easy to deal with the times that I'm by myself.

I like the fact that I have a different way of looking at the world. Most people see dark streets and graffiti. I see trees, flowers, bright colours, people walking their dogs and children running around and having fun.

I also have an intense ability to concentrate on tasks for long periods of time. While my regular high school peers were farting around in class, I was able to clamp down and get both my class assignments and homework assignments done, leaving time to study for my tests and work on my hobbies when I got home, after school. That explains why I got As and Bs in my strongest subjects.


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Rattus
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22 Aug 2012, 3:28 am

I'm getting there, being unofficially diagnosed with ASD was a really big step towards accepting myself as I am. I certainly don't feel the need to hide it as much as I have tried to in the past, mostly I am happier than I was before I was told that was what they were pretty sure it was. I've got the official assessment in Feb but I know inside this is what it is and my parents and care team are sure, they'll contest it if I am not diagnosed but no one doubts I'll be diagnosed. That's helped a lot, I feel I've been given permission to be myself finally.



Johnq
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22 Aug 2012, 3:33 am

Yes and no. The ways I see the world seem to be on a higher tier than most NT people and I understand a lot of problems and I know how many things work that other people don't see. Sometimes that makes me sad because I see what's wrong with a person but I have no power to help them.

I've only known I'm on the spectrum for a few months so right now it is very stressful and upsetting. It's sad I'm 30 now and the past 30 years were a complete waste and if I had only known I might not be in such a bad situation right now.