Relationships

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So, when going into a relationship, do you immediately tell your partner you have Asperger's? If so, how have they reacted? Has telling them this helped the relationship in any way?

I recently told a girl that I had Asperger's and I asked her to understand that I won't really know what to do in a relationship (as an NT would expect someone to do), and I asked her if she could help me understand the dynamics of a relationship more. She was actually a little weirded out from what I could tell.

I always tell my partner about my Asperger's when I start dating them. I wouldn't want them expecting me to be able to know everything as NT's do.

I was just wondering what you guys do and your experience with it.

If you know what your condition is, being honest is probably putting you on a good road toward finding someone who will accept you for who you are - even if it takes a while.

Or, if you wanna just wait until after you marry, that's fine too. Just first make sure your woman doesn't have a lot of debt in her name and that you don't own anything of material value.

I had suspected something was different about me for years but I couldn't place what it was until recently. After having read some threads and already seen some "yep me too"s I can tell you I am 99% sure I have AS. As a result I haven't told anyone. I just know that my most recent relationship fell apart due to it and I couldn't explain why until about 45 minutes ago. Now I see why and honestly I feel better about her dumping me. It was never going to work anyway.

In the future I will be telling people because 1) honesty helps and 2) perhaps they can help when things disregulate.

Eh relationships are too much drama and stupidity, I've never had any serious ones. They will inevitably end in heartbreak, so why waste your time with them?

It hurts a lot and completely disregulates and consumes me for a huge amount of time when I lose someone... but the "love" obsession makes up for it I think.

starting a relationship lying isn't a good thing when you come right down to it.

When starting a relationship, lead with your best hand. As two people fall in love, they will learn that neither are perfect, and each have flaws but the love will usually overcome.

I would not say anything.

Disagree.

Most relationships get doomed quick due to disenchantment from misleading or unuttered expectations.

Make a contract of behaviors expected (take) and offered (give).

Or roll the dice. Best of luck.