Socially burned out?

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For a number of months now, I have found myself out of employement and education. In the mean time, I have been keeping myself occupied with things and been pretty happy for the most part. However, during this time I have found myself to be less compelled to socialize with those outside my close friends and family, which is a small number. I find talking to acquaintances as tedious as I would talking to a stranger as I hate small talk and all forms of meaningless conversation. When getting to know someone, I like for that to be the first thing to get out of the way, which I've found can be easily done online. But in person, you have to go through what I find to be mind numbing protocol of building up this nothing chat to the point you find out their interests and views on things. Which could turn out to be effort wasted if you find you have little to nothing in common, which is usually the case for me.

Plus, if I discover certain traits that I don't like, sometimes even small things my natural reaction would be to retreat and distance myself from them. I think that's a mix of not wanting to be in a position were I'm inclined to converse with them, and not wanting to waste efforts on a potential friendship that would probably amount to nothing. For the most part, I'm quite content to be left on my own to do things. However, I still feel inclined to do certain leisure activities with other people such as, going to the cinema, or going for a round of golf. That could be just to satisfy my insecurities though, I'm not too sure.

I currently think its a case of me being burned out and fed up of social protocol. But I'd be happy to hear some of your thoughts on my current situation.

I spend most of my free time alone for the same reasons. I have a difficult time with small talk and those who know me agree. I tend to be very blunt and direct, and negotiate my way around idle chit chat. I don't like social conventions for the most part. Actually I shouldn't say "like" I just don't work well with them I suppose.

I can't agree with you more, it all gets very tiring.

You seem like you are in a normal, healthy place at the moment. Being out of public stuff for a while usually means getting deeper into the special interests. This just eats up all kinds of time, and makes social time more irritating. As for group activities, having common interests in them with others is fine, and I wouldn't see the need to have anything extend beyond that.

I've been through a hell of a lot since I was your age (lol) and absolutely nothing was easy. Let's see.... Summer of 21 I was working 7 days a week as a Web Programming intern with a second job as a cashier. I was so out of it, that I didn't know whether I was coming or going! My university education was rubbish anyhow... No real job, no real money for years until I had to get banged up and burnt up in a steel mill for it.

So... If you've got some freedoms right now, try and use them to your advantage!

I am new here, and I don't know where I lay in or out of the spectrum... But I'll tell you what I think about it because I can relate to it... I too have had a couple of months for myself, same thing last year : what I do is seasonal, so I get loooooong vacation times... I find that, when I'm free of obligations, I don't tend to go towards people. I stay happily alone, doing what I like, which this summer was : playing music, gardening, writing... And what I've realized the past couple of years is that, when I have to go back into active professional and social life again, it's really hard. I get nervous, may stutter a bit, have trouble speaking in front of people, I'm more sensitive to, ah... everything. It passes. After a couple of weeks, it gets easier. As if regular exposure to that stress desensitized me a bit... Breaks are good. Or at least they feel good. But I know that, in my case, if they last too long, they make me less likely to want to socialize.

Let me tell you about social burn out. I live on a commune! 8 buildings with 100 people. 24/7. Maybe I like, in small doses, 5 individuals. I rarely ever interact with anyone unless I (and the other person) are working (together). Might as well be getting paid, that way if the conversation lapses, no time is wasted. Almost everyone here is "polyamorous" so dating is 100% psychotic. I'm nocturnal for the sake of my mental health.