after your diagnosis?

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I'm in the process of finding a doctor for an official diagnosis right now. every day since I realized my other conditions (social anxiety disorder/depression) didn't mean I couldn't be on the autism spectrum I've been seeing more and more obvious stuff (how was responding to stress by rocking back and forth in the shower for half an hour at a time not a dead giveaway? having panic attacks or days of depression every time I had to sleep in a different bed? missing school the day after having to meet nice strangers? a nice guy with a friggin PhD wants to take me to dinner and I have to hide under a blanket to be calm enough to even text him back...) it's been less than a month since I realized that this explains so much about me.

I guess I'm just wondering how those of you who aren't so new at this are doing. is your diagnosis something you use to get accommodations at school or work? I've been told all my life that I'm superlatively intelligent. learning is damn near effortless for me and I know that if I could handle the social/emotional aspects of things I could be amazing at a lot of well-paid, meaningful kinds of jobs...but I've dropped out of school 6 times and it feels like I'll never finish college. I flourish as a teaching assistant and I was great at working in a fairly quiet hotel when the routine wasn't disrupted, but I can think of at least 3 jobs I've quit after the first or second day because I couldn't handle too many people too fast. I've had 33 cents in my bank account for most of the summer, and without student loans I'd be completely screwed. some days it seems like I'll never be able to hold it together long enough to afford a car. I'm 24 and starting to feel like a loser in a way that my intelligence can't redeem. I think the worst part is that I'm just good enough at talking to people that I don't think most people realize there's anything wrong with me, since I manage to keep private the times I'm a jibbering mess rocking back and forth in the dark. I just come off as erratic and flaky.

I'd make a killer research scientist. I thrive at academic conferences, but I was so messed up and embarrassed by one day working the drive-through at Starbucks that I never even picked up my check (they said I was on the fast track to being a manager and begged me to come back...I hid in my room and cried rather than go through it again.) ditto Kroger and Walgreens. I'm stable now but the only reasons I didn't kill myself last fall after being too jittery for yet another menial job was not wanting to upset my room mate or force other people to pick up my apartment afterwards.

I'm back in school. I have a damn nice, private dorm room. there's a pool. If I don't drop the ball again I'll be ok. I just want to finish my Computer Science degree, get into something cool like virtual reality development, creating better prosthetics, or being a research methodologist who helps other people double-check and model their data...but right now I'm just wondering if I can get food stamps or SSI or something for long enough to finish college and not spend 1/3 of the year with my parents buying me food and me not able to even pay my library fines. I'm still in the "oh, that's why that upsets me! I'm not just crazy!" stage, and I haven't quite gotten to the deliberate coping and management stuff, but I wouldn't be surprised if just knowing why I'm the way I am will help a lot.

/rant

Firstly, I wish you the best of luck in receiving the support and accommodations that you need. May your potential be realized to the fullest.

In general: yes, a diagnosis of an autistic spectrum disorder can be something that is used to receive accommodations. In the United States, in fact, the ADA (Americans With Disabilities Act of 1990) mandates that employers and educators provide reasonable accommodations for anybody diagnosed with a disability.

In my case: my diagnosis is "informal," and it is assumed that my "disorder" is rather mild, so I do not use my diagnosis to receive accommodations of any sort. Granted, there is little that my school could do to accommodate for the specific difficulties that I have (my main issue is emotional regulation), and I would feel guilty removing any time or resources from an already strained system.

I hear everything that you are saying. I am unsure about accommodations at work (I am in Australia), but definitely you will be able to ask for accommodations at school. I get extensions, alternative assessments, flexible attendance. One of the biggest helps for me has just been able to tell my lecturers a bit about what I am likely to struggle with at the beginning of semester so that they know what to expect and I don't need to worry about them thinking I am just lazy or rude. The majority of the responses to this have been very positive, but it may not always be.

I want to be able to lift your spirit. I finished my university degree 8 years ago, but the only job I've had is at a supermarket. I have always been an academic overachiever, but that is where my achievements have ended. I feel like I was born with the mind to achieve and want to strive for great things, but the coping skills to achieve nothing. It took me a long time to accept that for a while maybe I just need to focus on the basics of existing and that that is ok.

One of the things that I think we need to try to remember is that we don't need to follow the same path as most. We usually can't, but that is ok. I know that it is a difficult situation to be in, but it is a really positive thing that you are able to look forwards and see yourself in a job that will suit you, like research. If you can achieve this goal eventually, even if you are needing to be supported by your parents now, you will be able to support yourself in the long term. And that is what is by far more important. I know it's difficult not to be hard on yourself though. We grow up with a set of expectations drummed into us, and a sense of what "the right thing to do is", but there is no doubt that you are always doing your best. And that's all that you can ever do.

I too am hoping to work in research. I went back to uni this year to re train in an area that suits me better. I didn't have a diagnosis during my first degree, and ended up with training in an area that in the real world I was completely unsuitable for (no routine, way too much socializing). If you can see a way into work that you would be well suited to and enjoy from your current schooling, that is excellent. I would encourage you to try to get a diagnosis if you can, it makes an enormous difference to your understanding and judgment of yourself. I have learned to accept many things about myself, understand my weaknesses and to work better with my strengths.

All the best.