Being forced to go to this college!

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I am living at home at the moment however the people at the job centre and my parents are trying to encourage to go to a college for people with 'health issues'. my parents are trying to say too me that its just a 4 month training course in a residental college to get a job but i know deep down that i am being set apart from others by being put in this place.

i love living in my big house at home and i also have friends in my local town but the problem is that i lose my temper over small things all the time which is making it hard for me to live at home with my parents or control my behaviour and emotions. its just a simple matter of me getting angry over things that don't usually bother normal people which is making home life very hard for me and my family. Overall my parents are saying "either behave yourself at home or we will put you in this place"


i am currently exercising everyday, sleeping loads and eating healthy too try and control my agressive outbursts

my parents have did by me a flat but i don't think i could live in it without a job

what should i do because its misrable the idea of being put in this place

Is this something like the US's Job Corps? If so... it could be good but also I sympathize with you on having to drastically change your living situation to make other people happy. If you can get over that, perhaps it will train you to do something afterward that you would enjoy?

Also if your parents bought you a flat, why can't you live there? They can pay your utilities too and you can seek part-time employment of your liking or pursue your interests until they manifest some money for you, if that's possible.

Another thing, some medications help with the anger outbursts, though you may have to try several.

Do you have a routine at home that your family helps follow? Do they explain changes to you before they happen and provide you a safe place to be angry without lashing out at them?

No i live in England not the US

Yeah thats exactley what i thought as well i mean my own flat would be MUCH better than having too live in a residental place full of people i will probably ending up hating.


most of the problems i have know in terms of anger i did not have aged 11 but i found that puberty was defo a trigger for most of the issues i have now. a brilliant stratergy i could adopt more when i get angry is too simply go cylcing too burn of my energy and come back home later.

That is an excellent coping mechanism. Hopefully your family can respect that if you're upset you leave the situation and return more calm. I agree that hormones can really mess with your aggression tendencies but time will make that better. Also, just to say it, has your family thought about the fact that you may get kicked out of the residential place for aggression? Then what? You're more stressed and defeated. Much worse than taking off on your own, imo.

My parents consistantly make the wrong choices for me.... at the end of the day i know whats best for me.

I would suggest contacting someone like the National Autistic Society to help advocate for you. I assume your parents are trying to make the best decision for you, but ultimately, it's your decision and you're an adult. You just might need some help with getting that point across and coming up with an alternative.

What are the type of things that make you lose your temper?

feeling short and not being the centre of attention

How tall are you?

5ft10. trust me when if hang out with the younger generation at 5'10 u will feel small.


But anyway i feel that sadly height is something that will be very hard for me too stop obssessing over.

5'10?! That's a bloody giant, I'm barely even 5 foot tall!

Maybe this choice is for them. It could be that they just need a break. I can understand why it would suck for you to go to this residential college but it probably sucks for them living with someone who is aggressive all the time. If you haven't tried beating the crap out of a heavy punching bag 4 or 5 times a day I would highly recommend it.

You said your parents bought you a flat. Wow, awesome! They may be looking at this college as an opportunity to see how you will manage without their close supervision, before allowing you freedoms you may not be ready for. They are probably thinking about this as a test, to measure the likelihood of you being able to become more independent.

I agree. I removed some of the stuff I planned on putting in my first reply to this thread, because I wanted to stay as positive as possible. Oh well, here I go anyways...

Jamesy,

I get the impression that the relationship between you an your family is very one sided. You expect financial and emotional support, but I've never seen any mention in your posts of you giving anything back. I get the impression that you expect your whole family to only consider your wants (not necessarily needs) and you throw a tantrum when they aren't met. That's probably not much fun for them. Their feelings, wants, and needs are important too.

I am going too defend myself here

My aspergers is the cause of my agression so its not all my fault is it? Besides like i said there at work all day and even when they do come back i am out cycling so whats the big deal? Besides all families argue from time too time as well. Overall they hardly really see me and half an hour too 1 hour of me getting pissed is no big deal and it has been worse in the past.




Unfourtantly being agressive all the time is a disability intself

Wait, you're an aspie that gets pissed when you're not the center of attention, or did I read that wrong?

Sounds like your parents are trying to kick you out, ie. having the place to themselves. My mother did the same to my sister and I, after lying to us and saying "as long as you're in school, you can live here." Well, at age 20 I was still in school (working part time to pay for 100% of my tuition up front - 12-15 credits/semester) and my sister was too, at age 19, and she decided to "change her mind" and kick us both out by selling her house and buying a 1 BR condo. It was a very distressing event, as I did fine for the first year or so, but then the economy faltered and I've been struggling for the most part over the last four years, going back and forth between roommates and small studios while I try to find whatever work I can to try to pay the bills with. I don't have the social skills to really network/get ahead in life, and my mom has the same approach she had since I was a small kid, "he has a high IQ, so he is perfectly fine without any parental education/in all life situations which I have not prepared him for."