weird grey out

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I had a rather odd experience yesterday. I've been frustrated and stressed about job searching, and to some extent about the judgement I feel from extended family for not having a job lined up or holding one during university. I had an argument with my adoptive mom, so I was pretty emotionally overloaded too. I decided to start back on st. john's wort which I've taken before during stressful periods. The only problem with it is that previously long term use has occasionally led to more frequent periods of insomnia and sleep paralysis. Initially my mood improved and I was able to get the stress under control.

Later in the day I began to get IBS symptoms and the neighbour started his lawn mower and I began to feel overloaded again. My mom apologised and we agreed to talk about what happened latter. We were sitting down for dinner but I was still overloaded and had to sit facing away from her. That’s when the "grey out" happened. For a second there were sparks across my vision in a honeycomb pattern. The world felt wobbly like jello and it seemed like I was looking at the world through a grey film. It was like my body was stuck and I couldn't move. In some ways it was rather like a sleep paralysis episode, but I wasn't going to sleep and I couldn't turn it into an out of body experience.

I've had one similar experience when I was assisting with English conversation at a medical college in Bangladesh as well as teaching art and art history to some of the children of ex-patriot doctors. I was asked if I wanted to observe a surgery, and said ok. The experience was similar but everyone assumed I was going to faint. Initially my body wasn’t frozen, but I didn't have access to my sense of touch, I couldn't understand language and it was difficult to see through the grey. As I didn't move after they helped me to sit down they thought I had fainted, but I was conscious the entire time. I just couldn't respond.

I was wondering if anyone else has experienced anything like this? Might this be just an extreme version of the language loss and disconnected feelings I experience normally in response to overstimulation or is it something different? My experience with doctors and psychologists hasn't been great. I meet with one I really trusted in university, but now that I've graduated I'll have to find someone else. I still have a rather vague diagnosis at the moment, and I've been dangerously misdiagnosed in the past. I'm afraid that if I tell someone about this latest issue the focus will be on labeling me and not supporting me in managing the underlying sensory and learning issues. At the same time I don't want to ignore it if it's serious, and I don't know how to manage it on my own if it happens again.

that sounds almost like a seizure.

It was a migrainous aura. They last 20 minutes or so and are due to lack of blood supply to the occipital lobe (visual association areas), not followed by a headache. I remember being alarmed when I first experienced this. The remedy is to rest, not stress and wait it out. It is the brain's tachometer signaling "Redline" IMHO.

I can't diagnose you, but my mind went to migraine as well. I get migraine aura. That being said, I remember a conversation with a neurologist and seizures can be similar - so both posters have plausible ideas. I can appreciate your worry but I would still encourage you to see a doctor. While it is way more likely that it is nothing to worry about, it could be something you need to know - like transient ischemic attacks. Actually, you might want to start with an ophthalmologist or an optometrist who is very thorough - I learned a lot via this route. Sometimes your blood vessels or the optic nerve can be very telling - say, blood pressure or inflammation. Seeing sparks could be a red flag for retinal detachment as well. Please don't ignore this. At the least, I think a little reassurance is a good thing. If everyone shrugs and send you on your way - good. I don't think this would muddle your other diagnostics - it would make sense to me. Personally, if I were driving especially, I would want to know what is going on. If it is migraine, you at least know what to expect and you can start to figure out your triggers (headache is only on possible symptom of migraine - may occur without headache).

Best wishes for whatever you choose to do, LM