Family wants me to forget about pursuit of diagnosis

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They are of the opinion that I've made it this far and adapted well enough that they feel it is folly for me to go after an official Dx. When they wanted to know what makes me different today from when I was in a form of denial I answered that researching the condition further explained why things have been the way they've been and some problems aren't going to disappear. They responded that I'm effectually looking for excuses to 'give up' and "why would I want to let myself be defined by a piece of paper? You don't need a piece of paper to tell you who you are".

In truth I am wanting to get covered by a diagnosis to:

put my mind at ease and get 'closure' (overplayed NT buzzword)

be on record as having autism to minimize the chances of being thrown out on the streets and being mistreated by the police

put myself in closer reach to helpful resources

be vindicated when my family attempts to interact with me in a counterproductive manner (I fantasize about being able to give them a book that says "You can't do/say this to me anymore")


The way I'm seeing it is as a form of being able to take care of myself in the long run. Maybe this fact negates the idea that my neurology causes me problems functioning in life


Experiences, pros and cons, suggestions, perspectives welcomed on this

It's your choice, not theirs.

exactly. they should also get rid of their birth certificates if they want to be consistent because that defines who they are.

Some people in my family have that sort of attitude as well....if you acknowledge your problems or difficulties and try to address them you're 'making excuses' or 'not trying.' I actually grew up believing that, it was probably part of what led to my depression issues. Its kind of weird now though because my moms trying to be 'supportive' and help now, but she is not innocent of contributing to it as well....I mean she probably kinda figured there was something different about me but I think she was afraid to deal with it so she figured if she just viewed me as a normal kid it would go away or something. Anyways its up to you if you want to pursue an official diagnoses, I really do not think your reasons seem like excuses or giving up.

I'd say go for it. I'm 41, and I'm trying to get a diagnosis too. My 3 yr old was diagnosed, and my 10 yr old is on a waiting list to be diagnosed, so I started recognising myself in the things I read about autism and AS. My Dad doesn't really know I'm looking for diagnosis, but I don't think it'd bother him. My husband is behind me all the way. I think my brother is on the spectrum too, but he doesn't want to find out more, although I'd say it has caused more problems for him than me. I think he's rather a pessimist, though - he doesn't believe anything could help or improve his life. Whereas I'd be like you and reckon a diagnosis could be useful for a few reasons. Good luck with it!

It's your choice of course, but I would suggest you go for a diagnosis. You'll feel better. And the diagnosis on paper could help in the case of workplace or police issues.

In my case, I needed the diagnosis to convince my family. It may help there for you as well.

But then again, pursuing it may alienate your family. So be aware of that. It may be best to pursue it in secret if that's feasible.

If it's important to you, just say, "It's important to me, and I'm doing it." Then do it.

You're an adult and this is your decision......you don't have to have your family's approval.

This kind of grinds my gears. Why would they say that? What's their motive? Why don't they want their loved one to get help? Is it because they're ashamed or is it because they'd rather believe their loved one is just a rude jerk and not someone who can be helped? I often ponder this with my family as they too are against a diagnosis for no clear reason.

I say you do what's right for you. If you have the insurance, go for it. Just be sure to the doctor you go to is knowledgeable in Autism. Don't just go to any average psychologist. You may have an Autism support group in your area or state. They might have some sources on their website. I know mine does.

I'm actually thinking about getting diagnosed now that I have Medicaid but I'm going to get my medical problems taken care of first.

The only reason I can think of to not do it is that I don't want to get back into "the system" again and I wouldn't want to take the chance that they could try to medicate me or lock me up or misdiagnose me. I don't really see how it would help me except to get me ssi and maybe some antianxiety medication if they offer anything I'm willing to take.

Making it official is a good thing, although it won't stop you "being thrown out on the streets and being mistreated by the police." Not sure why this is an issue for you.

Do it. Given your families attitude so far it doesn't sound like it would change their attitude toward these things a lot but it sounds like you would benefit from a diagnosis and that is what is important. They don't have to live in your head for the next x0 years.

Hi:

Just my two bits. I am 46 and I have recently had an assessment with a very experienced professional and the only regret that I have is that this was not done at the least when I entered my teen years. I suppose we all have our own reasons, but you make a valid case and it is your choice. Sure, they may be right that you don't need a piece of paper to tell you 'who' you are, but a diagnosis will help you and others (as you need or choose) understand 'how' you are - that is, the way that you communicate and relate to this world. I, too, have worried about taking care of myself in the long run. I don't see how seeking a diagnosis is 'giving up'. Pardon the term, but I think it is 'proactive'. In a short time, I am quickly learning why people can't, don't, or won't follow me in a conversation, such as 'information dumps' and skipping parts that are important to NT's. I am a middle aged woman and this was such a revelation to me! I may not get it or like it, but I have something to work with and hope to get myself through situations where I need to interact with people and that usually have had a poor outcome.

Best to you,

LM