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rebbieh
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15 Sep 2012, 6:11 am

A little while ago (earlier today) I posted something on a forum. I posted two questions and I later realised that one of the questions has quite an obvious answer. By the time I realised that people had already replied and two of them basically called me stupid (in quite a harsh way). For some reason I now feel like crap because of it. I don't know if it's because I hate people calling me stupid or if I'm a perfectionist (which I am) or both. I guess I'm also pretty sensitive to what other people say to me. I get offended quite easily. I'm probably just overreacting but anyway, I can't really let it go right now which makes me feel disappointed at myself (for not letting it go and for asking the question in the first place) and angry at other people.

What about you? Are you like this as well? Also, why do people insist on calling each other stupid? They're like bullies.



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15 Sep 2012, 6:17 am

I'm like this because people used to bully me for being "stupid", and it destroyed me. I'm not stupid by the way, some people just thought I was, for a couple of silly reasons.



rebbieh
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15 Sep 2012, 6:22 am

JellyCat wrote:
I'm like this because people used to bully me for being "stupid", and it destroyed me. I'm not stupid by the way, some people just thought I was, for a couple of silly reasons.


Me too. The worst thing someone can say to me is saying I'm stupid. I hate it. I'm not stupid at all.



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15 Sep 2012, 6:22 am

Yeah I'm the same way. I can't stand making mistakes, even mistakes that normal people can't see because they're not detail oriented. And I get really upset when people think I'm something I'm not, especially stupid. I know I appear stupid a lot because of being awkward and not knowing the right thing to say or do all the time, but I'm not stupid in many other ways and people don't care about that. :(



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15 Sep 2012, 6:31 am

rebbieh wrote:
A little while ago (earlier today) I posted something on a forum. I posted two questions and I later realised that one of the questions has quite an obvious answer. By the time I realised that people had already replied and two of them basically called me stupid (in quite a harsh way). For some reason I now feel like crap because of it. I don't know if it's because I hate people calling me stupid or if I'm a perfectionist (which I am) or both. I guess I'm also pretty sensitive to what other people say to me. I get offended quite easily. I'm probably just overreacting but anyway, I can't really let it go right now which makes me feel disappointed at myself (for not letting it go and for asking the question in the first place) and angry at other people.

What about you? Are you like this as well? Also, why do people insist on calling each other stupid? They're like bullies.



In the case you're speaking of, it's likely they're not really bullies.... it's moreso just a case of being on the internet can turn normal people into complete jerks at times. I see it happening on forums all the time.


It's best to just ignore them. If the same people keep doing it though, see if you can find a way to just block them, and you wont have to even see their posts anymore. Or even report their behavior to a moderator.



Alfonso12345
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15 Sep 2012, 7:56 am

I am also sensitive about things other people say to me, even mild criticism is like an insult to me, and actual insults are worse. Maybe it will help if you just think to yourself about how better you are than those people who called you stupid. Those people are probably always waiting for someone to make one little mistake, so they can post a reply that says "YOU IDIOT! :twisted: " Since I doubt you are like that, maybe knowing that you have a better moral standard than those lowlifes who probably love insulting people for anything and everything, will make you feel better. I don't know if it will, but maybe it will help.

I am also not sure why some people like to call others stupid. But... I know there are some people who enjoy being insulted and verbally abused... Maybe the people who enjoy that sort of thing are crazy.



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15 Sep 2012, 8:01 am

I don't mind people calling me intellectually stupid or slow because I don't want to be too clever anyway. But I still know how you feel because I get the same feelings if somebody points out social faux pas that I make. I am sensitive, get upset, and hate appearing odd to other people.


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rebbieh
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15 Sep 2012, 8:27 am

Alfonso12345 wrote:
Those people are probably always waiting for someone to make one little mistake, so they can post a reply that says "YOU IDIOT! :twisted: "


Misery wrote:
In the case you're speaking of, it's likely they're not really bullies.... it's moreso just a case of being on the internet can turn normal people into complete jerks at times. I see it happening on forums all the time.


These are things I just don't understand. Why would people want to be mean to other people? Don't they have better things to do?

Joe90 wrote:
I don't mind people calling me intellectually stupid or slow because I don't want to be too clever anyway. But I still know how you feel because I get the same feelings if somebody points out social faux pas that I make. I am sensitive, get upset, and hate appearing odd to other people.


I understand. I get really upset when someone calls me stupid because my intelligence is one of the very few things I've always liked about myself.



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15 Sep 2012, 8:44 am

rebbieh wrote:
Alfonso12345 wrote:
Those people are probably always waiting for someone to make one little mistake, so they can post a reply that says "YOU IDIOT! :twisted: "


Misery wrote:
In the case you're speaking of, it's likely they're not really bullies.... it's moreso just a case of being on the internet can turn normal people into complete jerks at times. I see it happening on forums all the time.


These are things I just don't understand. Why would people want to be mean to other people? Don't they have better things to do?

Joe90 wrote:
I don't mind people calling me intellectually stupid or slow because I don't want to be too clever anyway. But I still know how you feel because I get the same feelings if somebody points out social faux pas that I make. I am sensitive, get upset, and hate appearing odd to other people.


I understand. I get really upset when someone calls me stupid because my intelligence is one of the very few things I've always liked about myself.

an old statement that is true to this day, those who belittle, do so cus they have a poor self-image.
my brother, who is one of the most brilant people i have ever meet, sometimes would be called stupid cus of his silent ways, and then we would know just how stupid they were!


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Alfonso12345
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15 Sep 2012, 8:45 am

rebbieh wrote:
Alfonso12345 wrote:
Those people are probably always waiting for someone to make one little mistake, so they can post a reply that says "YOU IDIOT! :twisted: "


Misery wrote:
In the case you're speaking of, it's likely they're not really bullies.... it's moreso just a case of being on the internet can turn normal people into complete jerks at times. I see it happening on forums all the time.


These are things I just don't understand. Why would people want to be mean to other people? Don't they have better things to do?

Joe90 wrote:
I don't mind people calling me intellectually stupid or slow because I don't want to be too clever anyway. But I still know how you feel because I get the same feelings if somebody points out social faux pas that I make. I am sensitive, get upset, and hate appearing odd to other people.


I understand. I get really upset when someone calls me stupid because my intelligence is one of the very few things I've always liked about myself.


The reason they like to be mean is because they are sadistic. They know that insulting others causes them to feel bad and enjoy causing others to feel bad because they are sadistic. This might be a milder form of sadism than what some other people have, but it is still a form of it. At least I think that is the case anyway.



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15 Sep 2012, 8:56 am

When I was raising my kids, I made words like 'stupid' swearwords. Those were names we were not allowed to call each other in our family unit. I figured the world does enough of that name-calling and nastiness. We will not do it to each other in our own home.

The saying 'sticks and stones will break your bones, but names will never hurt you' is a lie. Words are powerful. The responsibility is with the person who says the words in intentionally hurtful ways. It is not the fault of the person at the receiving end of name-calling. People can and do hurt each other without meaning to. I cannot understand why we would do so intentionally. I just don't understand.

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15 Sep 2012, 9:47 am

People call me stupid and other such words sometimes because I am usually, for example, the last person to catch on to a joke or I have to ask someone repeatedly to clarify what they mean when they have alluded to something rather than just said it outright (just say what you mean people and we wont have a problem OK!?). In real life I just avoid people like that; my complete intolerance for peoples social hierarchy hen-pecking BS is possibly one of the big reasons I end up spending all my time alone. In fact I recently cut a former "friend" off totally for just this kind of thing; he was basically bullying me for my inability to cope and to this day refuses to acknowledge that he was in any way in the wrong. What a tosser.



namaste
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15 Sep 2012, 12:35 pm

same here :?


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15 Sep 2012, 1:12 pm

hmmm,
I think it's funny when people call me stupid, because it reminds me to a quote of Einstein.
I think it's just so funny, and I ask a question why, and the people who call me stupid never can answer it and shut up. :D

Being stupid or being called intelligent, who cares? I have my own thought about it and I'm not A because someone said this to me.
Of course we'll want compliments :D



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15 Sep 2012, 1:38 pm

I seldom get "stupid" comments at least not anymore, just once in a blue moon from someone in my circle when she is really frustrated with some mistake I made.

But I used to get it at a former workplace back in the 2000s albeit in a more oblique way. I got told "you have a tendency of making simple things complicated." Which is tantamount to calling somebody stupid. And also accusatory as they're insinuating that I had a A CHOICE in making things complicated when I didn't have to. Maybe I just didn't perceive the nuance behind the implied expectation??! But try explaining that to your average NT. :x



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15 Sep 2012, 2:00 pm

That sort of thing upsets me to, well except I am not really a perfectionist...but yeah I think I got a little burnt out on having other people at school calling me ret*d and then of course making a point to point out anything I ever did that was stupid, or the one time people found out I wasn't so good at math......I think I got taunted all day about needing 'special help'. I was always pretty good with reading and writing but I kinda fail at math. So yeah I think being exposed to that on a consistent basis kind of destroyed any sense of self worth I might have developed.

I suppose I just don't see why someone would continue on picking on someone if its clearly upsetting them....I mean I think one time as a child I decided to be a jerk and do that to a younger kid and then I felt terrible about it, I cant remember but I might have even apologized to them later.


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