I fail at almost every thing I do

Post Reply New Topic

I feel like I fail at life, just every thing in general. I suck at school because of my learning diablitys. I suck at having friends because I am an aspie. I suck at family because I always make people mad. I suck at dog trainging (my obession) because of my temper. I suck at driving because of my eye problems. I suck at cooking because I forget that I am currently cooking. I suck at life. I hate being at home because I make my family mad and I dont mean to. I love going to school but it always puts me in a bad mood because I suck at the work. I am always feeling sad like this. Sorry to go on and on about this. I try to talk to my family about how I feel and I just make them mad. How can I stop sucking at life? Also how can I stop feeling so sad and awful when I am home on week ends, my family is mad at me and all my sibblings are playing with their friends, not me?

Take a deep breath first and give yourself a hug. Really.

Okay, you don't have to hold yourself to other people's standards of happy. Figure out what things do make you happy. I like being alone, and for a long time people told me that this was wrong and that I need to get out more, so they'd drag me to concerts and parties thinking that eventually I'd like doing that. Untrue for me. It took me a long time to realize that being happy in the silly ways that make me happy with my weird brain isn't a bad thing. I don't have to seek validation that I need more friends, or must lower my standards for people to have acquaintances. I will have my perfect friend and I will be alone as much as I like.

You aren't failing you just haven't found your niche yet. That big niche out there is for NT people, you need to find your little aspie niche.

Thank you It seems like lately nothing makes me happy though

Life is not easy, being a teenager is not easy, and being atypical and a teenager is even harder... It's ok to acknowledge the fact that you find it hard, and of how it makes you feel. But you should know also that you are a valuable human being and that it does get better as one grows older. Sometimes, we focus too much on what we are failing at, and not enough on the good things. You should find someone you can speak to about your feelings. Have you tried writing about it to your parents? Is there someone at school you can talk to?

There is not much an stranger like me can do on a forum like this, but I give you a hug, as virtual as it is.

I've had years and years of torture, misery and pain. I started writing fiction short stories this summer and it seems to be worthwhile. I've failed at everything else but my stories are being published. No, writing doesn't pay the rent but it does give me hope that my time on earth wasn't a total waste.

Kaelynn, when I was your age and in a similar situation to yours, I turned to spirituality. I read inspiring books and kept a diary. I enroled in a program that sent me as an exchange student to a different family in a far away country for a year, all expenses paid.

I get a feeling, maybe I'm wrong, that your parents could do more to find you specialized help than they're doing.

I get this feeling a lot and I would be depressed and cry a lot over it; I had it more so at the end of last year and at the beginning of this year, although it still happens from time to time. The thing that really set it off was me not getting into this boarding school, and not really knowing why I didn't...because of that, I started analysing my life only to find that I fail a lot of things.- I even told my mum all of this, and I eventually 'broke down' and cried.

...I understand how you feel, but all I can say is that it will get better- I don't claim to know how, but it will.

I can so very much relate to the failing at everything I try feeling.

From what you wrote I was thinking you might like volunteering at the humane society or an animal shelter of some kind...if there's one near enough to you for that to be possible....you could walk dogs and that could give you somewhere to go on weekends.

Yeah, I HATE that feeling. I really do. I keep beating myself up because I'm 29 and still haven't managed to get my bachelor's degree. I try; I fail; I get up and try again. I don't know how to give up. I hope I'll never know how, despite how painful it is to keep failing.

I do volunteer work, too. It really helps. I think it's because when you volunteer, you're connecting yourself to your community. You're contributing something real to the rest of the world, and you're not useless. I feel that people with disabilities often do get disconnected, and get it drilled into our heads that we ought to always be the people who are being helped; but when you volunteer you're turning that on its head--you're giving back. You're the person doing the helping. It's empowering. It's a way of reinforcing the idea that you are an active part of the world, doing useful things instead of just existing.

All the things I've succeeded at in life in some capacity there were three commonalities.

One, I applied tons of effort and time into them, whether I recognized it as such or not.

Two, I wasn't under pressure. Pressure destroys my capacity to like... do anything useful. So if I'm pressured into doing something moreso than my normal level of motivation/work ethic (which may be fairly high) I fail at it. It's one thing to set goals and try to reach them, but once you start applying emotional pressure to yourself, things get bad.

Three more or less goes along with one, but... I kept doing it. The reason I kept doing an activity was usually reason two, and the reason I stopped was usually reason two. I guess that makes an equation...

So don't be hard on yourself for failing, you're only 15, and you've certainly not screwed your life up yet. You're at least trying things, which shows you have more balls than lots of people who never try things because they're scared of failure. Just try the best you can to keep the pressure off yourself. You reach a point where you realize things like cooking, etc, are very insignificant in life, and with that fact in mind, you're free, as since it's so insignificant, it doesn't matter if you fail so you don't have to worry, and can just try to your heart's content simply because you want to.

I can relate to that "I fail at everything I attempt" feeling. I do have the tendancy to focus on the things i am bad at ( like social things ) rather then the things I have done well (eg finishing my vce at the same time as everyone else. They suggested I do it over a longer time for some reason).

Failing is succeeding at failing, hence you never fail if you fail.

To be honest i was also a mess when i was 15, not saying that you're a mess but i think i was, and if it helps, i can't work or go to school, so i have to do my own things really, just look for what makes you happy because every person is different, just because you don't succeed in something that someone else does doesn't mean you suck at life :) But i can very much relate to the feeling, i think i only have one friend in my area, the rest is scattered across the world :o Anyway sorry i'm going off topic, just keep doing things and try to find what makes you happy because doing nothing results to nothing ofcourse, but be sure to keep an eye on what YOU can do :o

I'm sorry i sound like an old geezer, but i really wanted to reply because i can very much relate to that! Luckily there's a forum like this :D