My GP was no help...just venting

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Ugh! I just went through the nightmare that is dragging my one year old to the doctor with me, watching him play with germ infested toys on the germ infested floor while a sniffly germ infested little girl kept insisting on playing a half a foot away from him...all so that my doctor could tell me that she's "not even sure if adult Aspergers assesments exist". After I educated her a bit, she informed me that she can't help me and asked me why I would want to be assessed, which I thought was pretty ignorant for a medical professional, but I proceeded to explain to her that it would help my friends and family to believe me, which would hopefully lead to them being more tolerant and respectful of my needs. Not to mention, I would like to know for sure simply to satisfy my own curiosity. I also went on to explain that my sons pediatrician is concerned that he might be showing early signs of autism, and I am hoping to help to aid in his assessment by finding out for sure that I do have AS, being that it is genetic. Her only response was that it's "too early for him to show signs"...which again I thought was ignorant and rude, being that I just told her that his doctor told me the opposite, and I've been observing 'questionable behavior' since the day he was born. I asked her to please try to at least find a psychologist who knows anything at all about autism because I feel that I could benefit from behavioral therapy. So, she completely invalidated me and sent me on my merry way with nothing more than a "we'll call you". I felt like such an idiot!

Sorry...I don't know who else to vent to, I figured you guys might understand this frustration.

Lady_Katie... Where are you based? Someone might be able to point you in the right direction or give you some hints as to how to proceed from here.

Thanks, I'm in Syracuse, NY - I'm willing to travel for an assessment, but after that, I worry that there might literally be no therapists in my area that I can see regularly.

Found this over on the OASIS website, perhaps they can tell you where to go for an eval. Where did your DH get his dx?

Institute on Communication and Inclusion
Provides research, public education, consultations
370 Huntington Hall
Syracuse, NY 13244-2340
315-443-9379
315-443-2274 (fax)
[email protected]

Also, you might be interested in some of the articles on the OASIS site
http://www.aspergersyndrome.org/Home.aspx

yeah, I know
best to get used to it
seems to be quite common
maybe even on the increase!

the icing on the cake might be that specialist you get referred to, is just as bad!

I have an appointment coming up and I almost know I'm going to get an answer identical to that one. My Doctor brushes every concern I have aside to the point I rarely bother but I have another unrelated problem I have to take care of. Unfortunately it is nearly impossible to find another (competent) Doctor where I live so I'm stuck with him and it takes forever to get an appointment because he's so popular for some reason.

If it helps, you sound almost identical to me and I've been told by two people with significant experience with Autism that it's highly likely I have Aspergers: they just can't tell me since they aren't qualified to say it. No doubt since I'm not Rain Man and have a full time job (that was a nightmare to obtain) many so called professionals will instantly say "you don't have AS" without any further questions.

Thank you! I'll contact this resource today. He's not officially diagnosed either, but he is seeing an on-site therapist at his job who is at least bothering to slightly educate himself on ASD's. I've talked to him before, and he believes that we both have it...but at this point, he isn't much help aside from being the only professional who has made us feel like someone out there cares a little.

Gosh, I haven't even considered that possibility

Well, I certainly hope that you have better luck than I did. It does help to hear that I sound like you, it helps me to feel less crazy at least. I am fully aware that I started trying to mimic people at the age of 7...that gives me over 20 years of observing and copying behavior. By now, I've gotten pretty good at it, so I understand why people might have a difficult time understanding that my life isn't as easy as it seems on the outside. People who know me well (few people do) can see where I'm coming from though. I confessed my suspicions of having AS to my dad the other day, and he admit that he always knew that there was something "different" about me but he thought that I was just "too smart to be able to get along with most people". He went on to confirm that AS explains my childhood behavior problems and why I'm so gifted. So, it was nice to feel validated by someone who actually believed me for once.

Glad to hear that and thanks for the good wishes. If you are indeed crazy, that makes two of us If it becomes official I will share it with my parents but not before. I've only shared this with my brother so far and he told me not to bother getting diagnosed because it's so obvious I have it and there are no resources to help: at least not yet. I know my father will go into his classic denial (he clearly has symptoms: just not all of them like me) as he would never accept there is anything 'wrong' with him and mom's ego would have allow her to accept it because she would see herself as a failed parent for raising a 'damaged' kid like me. She constantly beats herself for 'ruining my life' even though both her kids are both highly successful (except with the ladies in my case ) just in completely different ways from each other. My main reasons for wanting an official diagnosis is for validation and to be able to keep the door open for activism. I see Autistic kids struggling and would love to talk to them and tell them I understand their troubles and I do care but can't do it in good conscience do it without that label myself.

Yes, I'm not exaggerating when I say you have probably the closest personality to mine of all WP members so I can relate to most of your struggles (I'm hoping the family and baby part will come in a few years!). I also remember trying to mimic the popular kids in school and could never quite understand why what was 'cool' coming out of their mouth was 'geeky' coming out of mine. I must have sounded like a robot at first! I eventually figured it out and was able to mask it but had a couple of breakdowns that would have been much easier to deal with had I known I was Autistic. That's why some people I talk to who don't know me well flat out tell me I cannot possibly have Aspergers: I have become an expert at hiding it to the point you would never suspect things like I suffered from severe depression much of my life or that I'm a 29 year old who has never had a relationship in his life or that I have severe issues with food or that I usually look at ears NOT eyes (and have become an expert at determining how many earrings or piercings someone has!) I have also become an expert actor as well to the point people are amazed when I get a chance to display that talent thanks to undiagnosed Aspergers!

If you are anything like me (and I have no doubt at this point you are) nobody would ever suspect you had AS until you pointed it out to them or they really got to know you on a personal level. I mentioned my suspicions to a player on my softball team and he told me the only reason he ever suspected it was three years after he met me when we went to a bar as a team. My mask must have slipped thanks to the sensory overload being in a uncomfortable place. He told me he just thought I was in a very bad mood that day but AS made perfect sense. Keep up the fight: I'm sure things will work out for you as you are not alone! I always knew I was different but it took this lost before I really looked into Aspergers and was speechless for hours after doing an in depth reading about it. After all, I have some amazing talents: there's no way anything could be 'wrong' with me.

I feel exactly the same way. I've been thinking about starting a blog to share my experience thus far, and any management tips that I come across, but I just don't feel like I'm legit yet. I am joining an "Aspie Women" group that's starting in my area though. I made sure that they all (all 3 of them lol...gotta start with something) understood that I'm not diagnosed so that I don't feel like a total poser haha.



I really am so relieved to hear that one of the only people who can relate at all to anything I say also believes that they have AS. My family and baby came as a result of dating an Aspie...we just didn't know it at the time. Actually, I figured out my own AS because I was trying to figure out what is "wrong" with my husband lol...I figured it out alright, the only problem was that I identified with more AS traits than he did!

I am tempted to eventually 'come out' at work. I am at the point where I'm one of the most well respected of my 200+ coworkers and maybe mentioning it to select people might help open some doors. I know I've been very successful but I know I'm capable of so much more with a gentle nudge in the right direction. I did mention to one of my sports teams and while people warned me that was a bad idea I haven't been treated badly at all. In fact I think some might have gone home and looked it up only to realize they misunderstood my 'arrogance' and childish personality as that of a complete jerk. The ones I told all asked me to join their team again so it couldn't have been that bad: it likely explained my odd behavior as nothing threatening or scary.



Well, I think I may have mentioned it in my introduction but my journey started when my mother was complaining about my brother. I said (and to this day I don't know what motivated me to say it) "Do you think (brother) has Aspergers?". I barely knew what it was except that it was VERY common among his colleagues and had no idea it was a form of Autism. His highly specialized profession is literally an Aspie haven so that's likely why he never doubted my initial self-diagnosis: he has experience dealing with Aspies!

I was doing research in the library on what might be wrong with my mother (LONG story) and stumbled upon Aspergers by complete accident. I looked into it online first and was SHOCKED! My brother might have the stereotypes, but I'm the Aspie. In fact, there were 148 common symptoms listed on one website and I had 147 of them and some were highly specific personal things I literally thought no one else on earth did. I was only trying to help my mother and brother and it turns out I was the one with the 'problem'. To say it was a shock would be a complete understatement although I knew from day one I was different, even as a toddler.

being undiagnosed doesn't make you a total poser
the urge for diagnoses is a personal thing
the non diagnosed should not feel pressured

esp. by those wanting to advocate for children and others with ASD's

Thanks, that makes me feel a little bit better about it

So I had a total change of luck with this tonight!! ! I got a call from a local behavioral health facility, one that I didn't even know existed (which is shocking because I've been searching high and low and this place is only 20 minutes from my house) .... they said that my doctor referred me and that they do specialize in adult autism! Amazingly they had an opening for an appointment at 9:00 tomorrow morning, so I obviously jumped on that one. They also take my insurance! The receptionist said that I would see a psychologist once per week and a doctor once per month. I'm just so happy to [potentially] have found some help. I just hope that it goes well.

I am so very glad to hear this! I am only recently diagnosed, but it's something I've 'known' since the first time I read about Aspergers. I've only ever been treated for ADHD - which was diagnosed after I got my first job after college - but I've had a really rough summer and when I poured out my messy insides to my doc, he immediately asked me if I'd ever heard of Aspergers. Even so, he has been less than helpful, as much as I like him - he's a medication management kind of doc. Last time I saw him he downplayed its importance, and essentially told me he couldn't really help.

I'm also going to be going to a local behavioral center soon - initial appointment in a couple of weeks - and I am very hopeful. Sure, I may appear to be a mild case, but when I'm in a bad way inside my head, I seem to lose coping mechanisms and learned skills - I am almost totally nonfunctional in most situations right now. I hate that they call me 'highly functional' when I feel like (usually) 'highly adaptive' would be so much more accurate.

Anyway, sorry to sidetrack your thread - I hope you get the help and answers you're seeking!