Mind Blindness

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I haven't visited this forum for a while but on this occasion this topic will not be about me, instead I will focus on the disorder and whether anybody can relate to what I am experiencing.

Most people here will probably find it very difficult to read body language and have what is known as mindblindess.
For me this is a very known common characteristic of aspergers and out of all the common formalities of aspergers this was the only characteristic that I couldn't relate to.

A year after this problem I have realised that I also have difficulty reading body language and the difference in the tone of a NT's voice.

The problem earlier was that I couldn't find an event in my early working life were I was bullied due to mind blindess apart from during school and college life, but instead the opposite happended at work.
In my early working life I can recall being very shy and quiet and very polite who always reposoned with pardon, but after a year I can recall engaging in shared interest with my supervisor and after a few months I can recall being very joyfull of having money to spend on my interest and having this happiness helped me to being very liked, my common daydreaming and imagining gave them something to ponder about.
When I look back I can recall being unresponsive to unpleasant staff and being unable to become angry and be aware of unpleasantness even though other staff responded with attack and I am sure this helped me to be accepted.
The fact that I worked with female only staff helped me to become liked but I wasn't aware of this because I wasn't aware, I'm sure the opposite effect would happen if I worked with males.

My new job has a different breed on staff who take my gulibility for granted and use it against me, and for 7 months I have been mistaken to be very dumb and stupid even though I am in fact the opposite and in fact very lucky to have such an amazing imagination and I.Q, it is just a shame I cannot subject my intelligence upon them and make them look like the stupid ones.

After a few months I've tried to talk about subjects I don't like to talk about and try to be someone who I am not, to describe what it is like I would say it is like reading a script to somebody and not engaging in a concious form of conversation, when they respond how is your day I read a script in my head of what my day was like along with my fake voice and emotions.
Their response is not very good and they end up bullying me or singling me out for something I cannot understand, so I have deicided that I must stick to myself, well not literally..

The worst part of acting out is that I can recall acting out my emotions and responding in a happy joyfull way just to be liked, but I end up looking dumb and people hating me even more, it is cruel because I cannot undertsand why and I end up feeling very lost and confused and try to invent and think of a normal NT's emotional response...
I can recall responding to people in different ways for instance staring at their eyes RESPONSE: They respond in a affectionat way and think I am flirting with them, as for the males it is a good tool to use to keep them away.This still haunts me becuase I have older women still convinced I like them.


I began smiling more. RESPONSE: they think I am nuts and use this niceness as a way of bullying me.

I began talking more and making stupid jokes. RESPOSE: They think I have no freinds and they hate me for it

I began smiling less and acting in a more serious way. RESPONSE: They think I am in a bad mood.


Can anybody relate this this?

Totally. I think i went through the same process as you. Isnt it strange that when you smile people think they must be better than you and that you want something or are so eager to rub shoulders with them. I have actually seen people reappraise me in front of my eyes over a few seconds because obviously of the way i come across regardless of my integrity and capabilities. I can even see their face going through the mental calculations that leads to their new opinion. Now its not as if i am doing or looking anything particularly strange, admittedly a little different to what they are used to, after all i am a rare and quite extraordinary being. Years ago i would think that i was inferior and i would try to shift and accommodate leading into quite frankly moderately degrading situations involving my integrity which was resplendent being sullied by their association and my developing an inferiority complex. Then a few years ago i saw people whom i knew to be wretches swaggering about and i saw young "uni" students barely out of nappy's adorning the accoutrement's of hip and trendy culture as if they had (and they had) but not just their "rebellious" clothes but in fact their personality's of a peg! In other words i realized that most people were bullshitters.

Now i am more brashy when i feel like it and i bully NT people back in a way that perhaps doesent endear me but it is based on logic. This they find hard to deal with and usually i am able to run rings around them.

Sorry Photon if I am wrong, I thought mind blindness was something that affected the way your mind preserves different emotions, that you may sometimes/completely be blind too. You say, that you began to smile more at people and they thought you were nuts, you are seeing there responses and emotions. Is it a case of confusion the way they respond to your actions? more than it is mind blindness.

I just found this forum - and read your post, and YES, I am crying because I thought I was the only alien on this planet. Well, crying, and laughing. Finding this website has just released something enormously inside of me.....enormous relief at not being so alone on this planet.......

Sorry for gushing - don't usually. As you will understand. But godammit! YES!! I can relate. And BOY can I relate!!


Let me offer also some info/feedback.

Smiling is instigated/controlled by 2 different areas of the brain.

One triggers smiles based on emotional inputs. This is a natural smile, and is recognised as such by non-aliens. (There has to be a better name for them, and us? What?)

The other area triggers smiles based on will - that is, you consciously want to smile.

These 2 triggers operate differently - and are instantly recognisable to the viewer. So if you are saying to yourself - "I ought to smile at this point" - you are probably creeping people out with what looks to be a completely weird, false smile.

The difference (although the casual viewer would not be able to describe it) is in the eye muscles - a real, emotional smile involves far more face muscles than those in the lip-area.

(and is also a reason why very good actors/esses get paid enormous amounts of money. Faking these things and making them believable is hard. Very hard.)

I got all that from VS Ramachandrans book "Phantoms in the brain".

So the reactions you are getting are understandable!

Regards, Fred.
(Be gentle with me. First post. I didn't even read posting rules, or introduce myself. Be gentle with me.)

That sounds EXACTLY like me! I have the same problems all the time! It's so hard. I can't even live my life properly due to this.

Absolutely relate to everything you said. I can remember sitting in front of my boss and how uncomfotable he was when talking to me, always trying to tell me something like"hey dork, stop staring at me". Also some older women treat me in a certain way because they think i like them.

But you know what, i have discovered you can use that to your advantage in many ways, especially with the girls. That way you know instantly the ones who like you and the ones who don´t....