Work Meetings/Late

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OK, this isnt about talking or discomfort, this is about general disrespect.

This is about neglection and general disrespect of people's time. I scheduled a meeting at 9am this morning because this work place LOVES meetings. Meetings on everything. Excuse to talk, probably. Anyways, one person told me she'd be late, fine. Another walked by the room I was, looked in, then left. I didn't say a word. Reason being - It says she accepted the meeting, it WILL show on her calendar, it WILL even remind her twice when the meeting is. Nope.

I waited 10 minutes, became increasingly frustrated and then left.

Now, I expect people to blame me. Rightfully so. I didn't run around the office requesting/asking people to come, they've already accepted. I didn't hold their hand to the meeting room. I didnt follow up to make sure everyone could make it. It is my fault.

That was sarcasm - Its not my fault. I'm NOT responsible for people and their actions and I dont need to remember everything I need to do PLUS look after everyone else's time. I have a STRICT schedule that I create for myself. Its extremely organised and down to the minute. When people are late, I become frustrated. When they dont show, I become frustrated. The thing is, this meeting, it was to reduce the workload of the person WHO SKIPPED IT!

So, I sit at my computer and type this out. If no one here cares then why should I? Why should I be held accountable for other people who decide not to show or are too busy. We're all too busy, especially when you break for coffee/smokes every 10 seconds you have. You reduce the time you have to actually work - not me. I work and go home. This is what I get paid to do - work. Not talk, not yap, not 'interact' as this gets nothing done. Its 'productive' if you're the one outlining the way its going to be because your life revolves around talking but me? No. I'm a hardlined drill Sgt. I set something up, do it.

For those who can follow time, does it not just scream of disrespect when people are late?

Humankind: we do are PRIMARY JOBS exceptionally well. That is why we are the most successful species on this planet and dog are basically beneath us.

Humankind enjoy their PRIMARY JOBS very well that what makes them good at it. I like programming. I know an aspie who is good at number and statistics and enjoy that

NT does their job well; some are good in jobs where communication is essential and enjoy it. But for many NT their PRIMARY SKILL is to climber the social ladder (Socialising) in pubs and bars.

If you are not good at socialising you are probably gifted and enjoy your job because you are good at it. The thing is that you cannot expect the kind of commitment from others when they would rather be somewhere else.

** The thing is, this meeting, it was to reduce the workload of the person WHO SKIPPED IT! **

If they can't respect it, then don't try and reduce the workload any other time they ask, if they don't show up and give you the respect of what you where trying to do for them then, they don't deserve a person to reduce the workload – if they don’t show then the workload must not be much of a problem to them….

http://www.guzer.com/videos/fedex_fast_talkers.php this would be a nice world lol

Last edited by logitechdog on 13 Dec 2006, 12:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Ya, since I started I've heard 'I have no time' from everyone (but oodles of time for coffee)

Now, I received her cancellation 1 hour late. Super.

Generally, when people give me work, I focus on it until its done. I'm constantly complimented on how fast I am but I may slow that down for some...

I understand the social ladder, I just still think it sucks

NT's are just wet blankets in our world of perfect timing and order.

I used to flip when my friends were late, and I mean LATE!! 1 hour, 2 hours, ALL the time.. NEVER early, always late.. Then I get this:
Them: "Ya, uhh sorry I'm late.. umm"
Me: "No, ever heard of a phone? Ever heard of standing by your word? You know, those verbal things you spew out carelessly? Remember when you said 'I'm leaving now?'"
Them: "Ya, well one of my parents started ta"
Me: "No, you're 24 ****ing years old, your parents "dont stop you." we aren't 'babies'"
Them: "Well uhh"
Me: "No, you're just lazy and stupid and ignorant and disrespectful and self-absorbed and selfish"

ok, it really doesnt go down that line but thats what I'd love to say.. Again, I'm irritated right now and I'm proving to people that making a decision in this state of mind results in illogical reactions - Me labeling them those things wouldn't be productive

JOIN THE CLUB!

On my last contract, someone gave me bits and pieces of ARBITRARY and CUSTOMERY FOR THEM work to do. I said....NO, I practically SCREAMED!.... GIVE IT ALL TO ME! Yet he couldn't be bothered. It took me several DAYS to gather requirements!(Because I wasn't told EXACTLY what it was, or who to go to!) The program was done and tested, but I had no idea how it was to integrate with the software. I documented how it could be done though. It took me about a WEEK to integrate it into a program I wasn't told about.(Because I wasn't told EXACTLY what it was, or who to go to!) It took me a couple DAYS to finish up documentation because the delays moved things and AGAIN!! !!(Because I wasn't told EXACTLY what it was, or who to go to!)

So let's RECAP!

ELAPSED TIME: 2-3 MONTHS!
WORKING TIME: 2 WEEKS!
TIME REQUIRED: 3 HOURS! (About 2.50 hours on documentation and .5 hours on the program)

For those that didn't follow.... A program and docs I could have, and should have, finished in 3 HOURS took almost 3 MONTHS!! !! !! ! Because someone ELSE couldn't do a simple job. They almost extended me because it was to go into production the day AFTER I left! BTW I DID have it done a week or so earlier, but they had problems elsewhere, and production moves were delayed. Story of my life!

A managers job is to MANAGE! That means make sure the person knows what you want to have done, and certain details. Basically ALL I needed was:

1. Source definition
2. Target definition
3. Process integration point. Even an absolute URI would have sufficed.
4. Documentation requirements
5. Access to needed systems

Originaly, all I was given was a document where I MIGHT be able to find #2! It took days to get #1, a week for #3, and a couple days for #4, #5 was a moving target. I SHOULD have been able to do this from my desk, in ONE sitting! I ended up walking perhaps 5 miles or more to get the info.

OH YEAH!! !! On my last JOB(employment) there was a time where the boss couldn't remember something. I reminded him like 20-30 times! The last one was HOURS before the appointment. I STILL got in trouble for not reminding him!

And they told me I was expensive! They should get rid of that "manager". One time, when we had an EMERGENCY, he spent his time berating his wife, and trying to borrow a ladder for some house work. LATER, he did the same with his wife and son about a car accident. Think of all that I could have done EVEN in the approximately 2 hours wasted just walking the 5 miles!

Steve

Yup, sounds exactly the same.
I'd be done this project, which I started near 2 months ago, if people stopped organising meetings (that they talk through, not me, I dont know what they want) and told me 'look, this is what we need' - BAM, they have their ONE meeting, not 3-4 that we're on, and I have all my resources.. Tuck me away for a few days BAM, done - but, 2 months later, here we are.

This sounds all too familiar and the bottom line is that disrespect and unprofessional behavior in the workplace are just that--doesn't matter how popular you are around the water-cooler.

What's cool about many working Aspies is they actually believe that schedules, rules and professional conduct make sense to a more comfortable and efficient workplace. Seems like a lot of NTs don't have a clue.

Also (and this is my frustration speaking) have any of you dealt with being really competent in what you do, but people refuse to listen/absorb when you are communicating vital information to them. That leaves me clueless. These folks, who have no problems with conversation, don't respect me enough to listen (and for god sakes if they're lost, ask me to slow down etc. instead it's like "oh yes you are so good at your job and I'll tell you I'm listening, but when we're done I'll foget this conversation ever took place").

... two steps forward, one step back ...

--keats

Keats,

I wish I knew all this like 20 years ago. I would have my own business, and probably hire mostly ASPIES!

Steve

we certainly couldn't do a worse job with an all AS team:) The key for us AS types is "meaningful work"

-- keats

Corvus.....are you most upset about their disrespect....not showing up or letting you know they "cant" seems very disrespectful and insulting to me.It happens at my job constantly and causes some of my worse "meltdown" feelings...which I dont act on,just swallow back(like a little throw-up in the throat).

My manager has learned that it isnt enough to say that a meeting is "mandatory"....she has to actually offer "bribes"....pizza or dounuts,or "punishment"....you can now be suspended if you miss three meetings.The problem is the company never follows through with these "threats" because they need workers so badly...they dont even fire people who are constantly late to work or steal...they just move them to a new area until they get sick of it and then move them again...the whole thing is illogical and frustrating.It doesnt help, when they have a meeting scheduled and I show up and find out it's been canceled but no one bothered to tell me(I have to drive all the way there on my own time).

You have my sympathy.

Actually this isn't cool because it makes us look intolerant and robotic. Yeah, acting predictably and with respect makes people think we're weird. Because NTs often use a whole other code/language for getting things done and expressing themselves.
Calling in sick, for instance, some people would call in and say, "I have bronchitis, 101F fever and just started antibiotics".
"We can't replace you, you have to come in"
"But I'm contagious and feel terrible"
"You can wear a mask and if you don't feel good, you ask if someone will take over so you can go home early (yeah right)"

But you can lie or say the most irresponsible thing and everyone has to feel sorry for you.
"My baby has a temp and was crying! I'm going to the emergency room!"
"My car is on fire and I can't get to work!"
"I twisted my ankle yesterday, the doctor says I have to stay at home" (no incident report, nobody told that this person needed a doctor)

The teamwork stuff has to do with reading body language and assuming roles, who's butt to kiss and being polite and superficial at the right times.

There certainly are exceptions, but they are hard to find. I got along with certain travel agents when I did that work. I get along with nurses really well.

I felt the whole work place was on 'ignore me' today. I swear I feel weird there, sometimes. I just want to scream 'Yo, I'm aspie' but none would get it so I don't.

As for the work place full of aspies - the only down side is that it takes people skills to sell stuff.. aww nevermind, some of us are good at that anyways - I am when I want to be

I hate meetings, so uncomfortable. My old job used to meet all the time, really painfully long meetings, so I'd skip them whenever possible.