What does it mean "to get to know someone"?

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Robdemanc
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27 Sep 2012, 3:58 pm

People say this all the time. But what does "getting to know someone" mean?

Does it mean you find out about what their likes and dislikes are? Who they are married to? If they have kids? Where they come from and what they do for a living? If they worry about certain things? What makes them afraid? Or excited? Or happy?

When I really think about it, none of those things interest me about other people. I wonder if that means I just don't care about the social norms people have, or whether my autism stops me gaining any joy in discussing those things.

What do people think?



thewhitrbbit
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27 Sep 2012, 4:01 pm

All of the above.

Getting to know someone starts with basics like "Who they are married to? If they have kids? Where they come from and what they do for a living?" things like that.

Then the more you talk to them, you find out the other more person things.



aspiemike
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27 Sep 2012, 4:07 pm

I know there is also the romantic concept to this as well. The guy or girl say that famous line to eachother and it ends up meaning "I am not getting romantic with you right now. Let's take this slow"

However, I find more often than not in a friendship sense, this means the other peson would like to hang out more often.



Robdemanc
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27 Sep 2012, 4:17 pm

If people say it to me I am at a loss. They can ask me questions and I will answer them but I am not sure what i should ask them back and because I am not that interested they will just end up thinking I am boring or that I don't like them.

But what does it mean "to know someone"? Is it that you know all about thier lives, or you know what kind of temper they have or how they will react when something is said to them etc



Underscore
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27 Sep 2012, 7:31 pm

Isn't it the same as making some kind of connection with the person? So that you and the person are able to spend time together, meaning you probably have to know what there is that is most important to the guy/girl. I have tended to not be so formal about things like this, I just find out what I want to find out, by interpreting the "get to know eachother" phrase my own way. Usually I go a bit deep and find emotional undertones with the person, or I try to grab something about him/her that I incidentally find interesting, I wouldn't ever be interested or bothered by asking conventional questions.