Dart wrote:
Actually, I think we've all tried not being autistic before, like when we pretend to be NTs so we can make friends with NTs. However, it usually doesn't work so well for us.
I can def relate to that. Last year I had a roomate who is what u might call preppy. Well, I didn't have any friends, it being my first year of college, and no idea really how to meet new people, so since my roomate was close at least in proximity to me, i decided to be friends with her and her friends. They were as NT as they come. So i copied them as best i could, sounds silly now, but that's what i did, tried to act like them and be normal. Didn't work out so well when it became apparent how different i was, and the problems that i have. I wanted to be alone often and since i didn't go out w/ them as much as they all hung out together as a group, i got left behind in the dust. They read me as not liking them bc i didn't want to go out that much and when they all came and hung out in my room i really just wanted them to leave so i could have some quiet w/o all the confusing noise and conversation that i couldn't follow. So no matter how hard i tried, i cannot be NT, i don't believe it is possible, bc my true self is always there, and even though i have heard the advice to copy others in a social environment to try to socialize better, it is only possible for so long before i can't take it anymore. I get tired of being confused around others.