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rastachucker
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29 Sep 2012, 8:00 pm

I tried all threw out my life to desperately find the good side of my aspies which has taken so much from me and left me with so little in return. I mean if I had some special ability above and beyond that of normal man I think I could be happy with it because I know I have something they never will but I do not. As far as I can tell I am smart but not genius smart and have moderate talents in music and writing but not a super star type. So I sat and try to think how to be happy with something that only seems to take and take without giving anything in return. I mean I have to watch time and time again as people walk out of my life simply because they do not want to deal with the effects and some of the over bearingness of my aspies. I hate it and it is painful to watch this happen again and again. I always tried to find the good but with something like this there only seems to be bad and nothing good. I mean I want the same things that the other people have friends and relationships. I want to know what it is like to love and give love. I want all these things and it seems to be the very things that my aspies takes from me over and over. it just becomes overwhelming to watch the parade of people leaving as soon as they get there over and over again. your left with what is the point why stick around this God forsaken planet if that is going to be your next 300 years where your alone always a alone and there is no hope of making it better or fitting in. I cannot tell you the countless times when new friendships where starting to form in my life this time it is going to be different this time these people will stay and without fail not shortly after they began they leave and I get to watch this happen over and over again. I like why am I here and why did I sticking around this stupid planet for.

I mean hell the heart of the human experience is the social ability that is truly one the key things that makes us different from any other animal here on the planet earth. Yet us aspies and hfa are born without that and it almost seems as cruel as a lion born in the wild without the ability to hunt for its' prey. So I ask again what is the point why stick around in life when you are going to only have so little. there seems to be no hope of making it better. I tried to accept this thing and to be happy as am but it is so hard to sit and be ok in world where people leave over and over and over again.



CockneyRebel
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29 Sep 2012, 9:05 pm

I live life for myself every day. I've made the decision to be happy a few years ago that I wasn't going to be cynical, anymore. I be myself and go with the flow. I don't stop myself from making myself happy. I find that working also helps, because I'm making my own income. I also fill my days with lots of music. :)


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BorgPrince
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29 Sep 2012, 9:16 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
I live life for myself every day.


If that were enough, this board wouldn't exist and autism would be nonexistent.



CockneyRebel
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29 Sep 2012, 9:28 pm

BorgPrince wrote:
CockneyRebel wrote:
I live life for myself every day.


If that were enough, this board wouldn't exist and autism would be nonexistent.


That's just your opinion.


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rastachucker
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29 Sep 2012, 9:33 pm

Thank you borg prince because I appricate the comment cockney rebel but that is frankly like tring to put a band aid on a bullet wound. Aif that was all it took to be happy I would not have written this in the first place.



rastachucker
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29 Sep 2012, 9:38 pm

See what I think cockney rebel is your not as happy. As your saying



auntblabby
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29 Sep 2012, 11:12 pm

a notably melancholy man by the name of president abraham lincoln, said "a man's about as happy as he makes up his mind to be."



rastachucker
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30 Sep 2012, 12:57 am

ok now I freaking happy that people won't stay in my life and that I will have to live with the freaking aspie curse till I die thanks aberham that makes everything ok. Why did I not think of that I just need to be happy well that freaking great I am so happy I have no friends I am happy that people leave me time and time again I just so freaking happy about this oh thank you now my problem is solved I just going to be happy



EstherJ
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30 Sep 2012, 1:09 am

"Happy" is elusive.

It's not possible to be happy ALL of the time. Not biologically, realistically,emotionally, or situationally possible.

Every person has their struggles. Contentment is where you accept yourself and decide to take on the challenges of life, no matter how they make you feel.

People desire that, but mislabel it as "happy" and thus they never find it.

Not that I'm that successful myself; I'm majorly depressed. But I'm trying to be content, and passionate, not "happy."



mrspotatohead
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30 Sep 2012, 1:19 am

I watched a documentary recently that concluded that happiness is highest among those who are surrounded by friends and family on a daily basis. So basically, highly social people are the happiest the world over regardless of other circumstances. Needless to say, that documentary about happiness did not make me feel happy.
Actually, coming on here sorta brightens my day.
Also, Cockney Rebel is happy because she works from home. She does not have to worry that her social skills will prevent her from being able to support herself. However, not everyone is able to make enough money working from home to support themselves.



Moonhawk
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30 Sep 2012, 1:31 am

Uhm well you can't be happy all the time, there's good and bad days, what helps me a lot for now atleast is putting up an almost permanent resistence against basically a lot of stuff in my head, and my meds also help a lot, but to be honest i don't think having any form of autism has to make you unhappy by default, and yeah tough luck but its simply life, you have to deal with it, every person does and every person is different, there is no universal happiness if you ask me, i think its best to look for what you like to do etc, without looking at what makes other people ''happy'' :/ I mean sure in general we're social animals, but we all have different needs and desires :o



auntblabby
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30 Sep 2012, 1:57 am

rastachucker wrote:
ok now I freaking happy that people won't stay in my life and that I will have to live with the freaking aspie curse till I die thanks aberham that makes everything ok. Why did I not think of that I just need to be happy well that freaking great I am so happy I have no friends I am happy that people leave me time and time again I just so freaking happy about this oh thank you now my problem is solved I just going to be happy

my intent was to atone but also to impart that other people are not necessary for one's personal happiness or at least to a point within shouting distance of happiness.



bruinsy33
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30 Sep 2012, 2:48 am

rastachucker wrote:
ok now I freaking happy that people won't stay in my life and that I will have to live with the freaking aspie curse till I die thanks aberham that makes everything ok. Why did I not think of that I just need to be happy well that freaking great I am so happy I have no friends I am happy that people leave me time and time again I just so freaking happy about this oh thank you now my problem is solved I just going to be happy
Are you positive that the reason people will not stay in your life is 100 % as a result of you having AS? I prefer quality over quantity as far as friends go,I have a few close friends but that is all that I need. Perhaps my ''social needs'' are different from yours but I am content with living almost like a monk.The majority of the socialization that I do is at work.The fact I don't have a romantic relationship isn't something I am happy with but other than that I am content. Friendships ending isn't always a bad thing also .The majority of friendships that have ended for me were often the result of the other party's lack of honesty and genuiness.



Surfman
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30 Sep 2012, 2:56 am

how to be happy... applies to aspies as well

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YAzAu3Ut6c[/youtube]



1000Knives
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30 Sep 2012, 3:09 am

Go out in the woods a lot, just be outside a lot.

Try to get good at your hobbies, and don't be afraid to go balls to the wall with them. Pursue them head on.

Just learn as much as possible and never stop trying to learn new things. If you can learn how to do something, take the opportunity.

For friends, I'm finding it's a frustrating shotgun approach. You'll make acquaintances with dozens, if not a hundred or more people, before you find one person who sticks around. Whoever sticks around longest wins. Be warned, too, sometimes being one type of crazy (AS) you'll attract other crazies of various types. My longest lasting friend that I talk to on a regular basis (almost everyday) is a bit nuts, but still my friend despite everytime I hang out with him turning into a wacky adventure (or being downright harrowing.) We mutually benefit eachother, so it's cool.



onks
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30 Sep 2012, 10:43 am

It is more a way of not being unhappy all the time

For me one of the key aspects is that nobody wants to accept me the way I am.
They just complain and complain and complain
And I complain to them, too.

They'll deny me by that to be happy. But they will never be able to understand that they freak me out and isolate me
if they are telling me that I should be different

No whatsoever understanding or acceptance of people that are different. Really incredible and selfish

I'm tired of fighting all the time and find it really hard to see any meaning in my life
Just go to hell you bloody bastards that think that this superficial nothing is everything
and everything else is just unimportant ...
(From time to time I really tend to think like this although that is not the actual complete truth)