Are you a complete match with yourself

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I have seen for along time when people say things like they aren't meant to do this or to be like this. Also not as common I have heard things like someone wishes they had been born a different person, had a differnt body, or a different personality or life etc if only I was ________ or born with or with out __________ etc (or at least one of them).

With me I have the kind of body for things I wanted to do practically custom made for them but with the wrong brain put into it. When I try to do them I have a hard time. It only became easier because of years of trying and working hard not coming natraully like a normal person in these kinds of things.

I like the subject line of this post. I have thoughts but I had better do some homework. I'll peek in later.

There is always something everyone want to change. But if we were born differently a different person different circumstances, we wouldn be us and we would probably have other problems.

Sure who wouldn wanna be born with Rich parents, and high IQ, able to socialize and stuff.

But i really dont spend to much time anymore focusing on stuff like that, i got 1 life gotta deal with what ive been given.

I mean sure i wouldn mind a better start at life with all the problems ive got.

When I was younger I thought I was not who I wanted to be and I desperately wanted to be someone else, anyone else. I spent a lot of time pretending to be characters in novels and I always wanted a different colour hair, to be a different age, not to be Jewish, not to have disabilities, or to change something about myself. These were the things that made me me and I was bullied and had no friends and from elementary school on I really wanted to have friends so I wanted to be someone else. Also I felt like I was supposed to be a socially skilled person as a teenager bcs having friends was very important to me and I wanted to nurture children and animals.....I liked them and I had a nurturing ,maternal instinct......but I couldn't quite do it right........when I worked at the animal shelter the big dogs barking loudly freaked me out and the antiseptic smells made me nauseous and I couldn't do the chores quickly or neatly enough and I was useless. In a daycare I tried to smile at the children (bcs that's what I was told to do when I first saw them) but I scared the h*** out of them and made them cry because I didn't have a good fake smile and didn't approach them quite right and I held the babies kind of awkwardly (I was afraid to hurt or drop them) and the older kids made fun of me and were unruly bcs they knew I was awkward and uncomfortable and didn't know what to do with them. I also had problems with the chores at the daycare (I'm clumsy and have problems with spatial relations bcs of a learning disability). Also with my peers I tried so hard to fit in and be social but what I did was never quite the right thing. I wanted these things so much.....I wanted to work with children and be a teacher and a mother and a nurturer and I wanted to have a close knit group of good friends like the characters in the books I read and loved. I wanted this so badly but it seemed I wasn't built for it.

Now I feel like I was just built to read and be really good at it and spend my time reading and imagining fantastical scenarios from my novels (which I've always done). I have so much to be grateful for , my health, my mom who cares about me and does everything she can for me, having enough to eat and a place to live and not ever having to worry about these things and having above average verbal skills and being able to enjoy my novels and my imaginary worlds. Not everyone has these things and I enjoy them and should not lament what I don't have. I don't like socializing very much and never did (I liked the idea of it...wanted it...but didn't enjoy it) and so I wouldn't like going out and spending a lot of time socializing anyway.....I don't like noisy, crowded places and small talk and such. Further I wouldn't want to lose what I do have if I were to be someone else. I've also finally accepted and even like some of my characteristics , my religion and disabilities and hair and skin colour etc.

Edit:This is not to say that I don't ever lament what I don't have and feel sorry for myself...I just know I shouldn't and try not to when I remember to try.

I am a tomboy in a curvy woman's body, is that the sort of thing you mean? I've always felt I should have a more boyish figure. My looks do not match my personality and I feel it makes it a bit more difficult to meet like-minded people.

I'm sure most people wish they were someone else. Better, stronger, with more talents...etc. I've always fantasized about being physically tough and strong as I'm very wimpy.

If I have to live with another me, I won't be too happy but can tolerate that. We're likely to fight a lot but probably share a lot, too. Though ultimately we'll fight too much and have to seperate.