Is your daily life a struggle no matter what you are doing?

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How do you feel in your day to day life? I feel like I am always just getting by, struggling to cope. My psychologist wants me to try to identify what it is that I feel exactly in the hope that we can improve my quality of life, which is very poor. Every moment I feel unsettled, overwhelmed, agitated, frustrated, scared. I could rarely say that "I'm OK" without it being a lie. I feel like I am in a constant build up to meltdown no matter what I am doing.

It has always been this way. You don't really see a lot of info about Aspergers and daily life. It is usually focussed on shutdown/meltdown or specific experiences. But what about the rest of our life? Can anyone tell me how they feel day to day. Do you ever feel ok? Any descriptions to help me explain this to my therapist much appreciated, I am having trouble finding the words.

It was like this lately for me and now I am getting better. I am feeling I am getting better. I was feeling so stressed out and felt I was shutting down and all burned out, anything was too stressful for me. Even my obsessions were taking over. So my parents came and got our son for a while. I don't feel I struggle every day anymore because husband is getting better too and will be going back to work part time soon. It took so much weight off my shoulder. It was the combination of anxiety, stress, and AS.

My personal fix for anything is to get obsessed with yoga, The best stretches are the back and shoulders, specifically shoulder tension,

This had me thinking of a personal experience once, Is it a built up anxiety perhaps?

We all need to make many decisions a day, and some of us need to function perfectly and make flawless decisions on a regular basis... and then some of us are just perfectionists'...

There's a hidden anxiety that most of us disregard, miss, or ignore, and that anxiety arises after we make decisions. It's the uncertainty anxiety, per sae and we experience this (usually or in some of us) after we have made a decision or have made up our mind about something.

We all know we know things, because if that wasn't the case this anxiety would get out of control very quick and our accuracy and wisdom would not exist :p

Maybe from the previous year in your life, or from some negative events, you have built up an anxiety buffer with decision making..... and everytime you are certain in a decision even if you know you are right or you are shown or proven right, there is a hidden anxiety that is there that is worried about what would life be like had your confident answer been wrong.

I hope my point was displayed clearly and I hope this realization will help you identify your anxiety alias(s')!

ex: the 'what if' anxiety? or the unconscious doubt of self-certainty etc.

Right now I am feeling overwhelmed by my life. I have so many little projects that need doing that I have become overloaded and shut down. Even mowing the lawn has become difficult for me to initiate on. I think it has a lot to do with my depression over never having had a relationship at this age. Sometimes I just don't see the point in continuing my life since it will always be alone. When you feel this bad, it's hard to do anything that isn't absolutely necessary. I end up spending 2/3 of my day in bed and the other 1/3 at work.

yes

I chalk it up to my depression, lack of energy and lack of enjoyment when I do have the energy to do stuff. Our lawn is like a meadow, I really should cut it. Our kitchen was flawless a week ago, but now it is a mess again, and it is really hard to get started cleaning it. The cats entrance with a little house as a gateway was destroyed 2 years ago, I still havn't fixed it. There is a window in our garage that has been broken since we moved in 3 years ago, still havn't fixed it. I didn't even cut our hedge this year, didn't find the energy/motivation. The garage really need a coat of paint. I could go on, but I will stop the moaning now..

I kind of just reserve my energy to the most important day to day tasks, and never find any excess to get started on the ones who can wait.

I do however feel ok maybe 14-20 days every year.

If my life is anything to go by, I think we so-called high-functioning aspies need to do an enormeous amount of self-growth work in order to find a passable way of life that won't kill us with anxiety, fear, uncertainty, etc. All these negative feelings are the natural result of living with an invisible disability that is also not clear how to handle, what it does, to what extent (did I miss her subtle social cues just now? how much of his non-verbal did I catch? did he think I didn't look in his eye enough? did I detect correctly what my boss was telling me between the lines? have they discovered I'm not normal? will they fire me? demote me? dump me? never invite me to their outings again? do I really have something or am I lazy/selfish?). Add to that the living in a world not made for us, and all the rest. I believe, unfortunately, that the quality of life of an HFA is determined by their intelligence to be able to create, intellectually, the best possible lifestyle, because that is all based on one's thoughts (being good at the work needed to get rid of the shame and guilt, being good at discerning what will help us improve our feeling and life and what is a waste of time, etc.)

I feel it's a battle for me. Just going for a walk to the supermarket on a quiet morning still seems to be a big issue for me, and that I have to force myself to do it.

Really I'd love to just shut myself away, writing stories and selling them, but never really going out. I would be a lot happier, but at the same time it depresses me a little because the more I get out and do things the more easier things may become.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAm-kbzT7xw

Enjoy

Yo

Most days yes. And with a lot of things, even my daily walks, and going out a second time just for a walk around the block can be terrifying for me x_x And its with other things too, its quite exhausting mentally and physically to have so much war going on inside my head and body. But oh well, one day things will get better, i'm sure of that!

lol, not at all a match for this topic

Yes, it's like that for me too. I don't think I'm depressed as such (although could probably easily become so) but I get such huge anxiety about things and feel as if all I want is to be left alone to do things as I need to. Having children I have no choice but to look after them, but everything feels like one huge struggle, from the time I get up until the time I go to bed again. If I have to do anything like going out, especially if it involves other people, I build up into one huge panic.

The more I do that relates to my special interests
And the less socialising I'm pushed into doing (it's fine if I want to and if the people with whom I socialise don't make me feel like a bad person for not being able to be more social than I am)
The easier it gets.
Things always tend to be difficult; just getting out of the house is a battle each day.
But if I'm not being constantly forced to go against my natural temperament, I wouldn't call it a struggle.
If I had the money to lock myself away in a tower with a bunch of musical instruments, notation software, and books, and an internet connection, things would be beautiful.

This

@Who Am I - all the things you want I want, too. Actually, I do already have them, but I wouldn't lock myself away in a tower. As depressed as I get, being locked away would be a death knell. As noisy as traffic is around here, I need that to keep me alive.